Archive for category: marriage

Some days, it’s enough to just get one foot in front of the other. When you have someone in your life who constantly makes those steps harder, it’s a wonder we even have the ability to leave the house.

We work at getting the toxins out of our bodies. We watch what we eat and cut back on alcohol. We are very conscious of taking care of the toxins released into the environment. What about us? What about our mental spaces?

Removing toxic people from your life can make a huge difference in your self-worth. Being chastised or put down all the time becomes what we expect. But we shouldn’t.

If it seems impossible to get toxic people out of your life, it isn’t. Here are a few ways to get started and the benefits you can expect.

Identify The Toxins

Just like leaded gas or weed killer, we need to identify the people who make us feel bad. Once you identify who, you will have a better insight into the why.

Who

When you go out with friends or return home from a family gathering feeling worse, that’s the place to start.

Feelings of dread before a social function, work or school can all be signs you have someone toxic in your life. Take a moment to ask yourself why you feel this way and why you don’t want to see them.

Why

Family members can be the worst culprits. Life-long jealousies and rivalries never leave. Whether it’s a co-worker or friend, look at what they are doing to make you feel bad and why.

They could have a horrid home life, bad marriage or just be a negative person. The ‘glass half empty’ people don’t realize, the glass can always be filled up. The way they treat you has nothing to do with you.

It’s Not You, It’s Them

The most important thing you will realize is it’s not you. It’s all on them. You don’t need to understand the reason behind their bad behavior and attitude. They lash out at you mostly because they can.

It could be jealousy, it could be that they see you as an easy target or they are petty. It doesn’t matter. All you need to do is recognize them for what they are and start making moves to get them out of your life.

Removing Toxic People From Your Life

It’s never going to be easy, but your well-being depends on it. Family, friends. co-workers all need to be removed or distanced from you. It’s not always easy to take people out of our lives completely.

Set Boundaries

This will be very helpful. Set the boundaries and stick to them. Toxic people tend to creep back in over time. You must be firm. Remove them from all your social media platforms, block their number and don’t respond to their communications.

Family

Tell them you have had enough and stop letting them take advantage of you. The strongest word you need is, “No”. No, you won’t babysit or drive them somewhere or lend them money.

Stop attending family gatherings and tell them why you are not coming. When it comes to major holidays, you will have to decide for yourself if it’s worth it. Don’t engage unless absolutely necessary.

Friends

The toxic friends are not really friends at all. Cut them loose. We often get saddled with these people through other friends or work relationships. Their poison starts slowly, taking advantage of you, wanting favors or slowly chipping away at your self-esteem.

These types of people are not your friend. The sooner you are rid of them, the better. Don’t be afraid to tell them what you think of them and why you are no longer going to associate with them.

You don’t need to be mean; just honest. Whether they know what they are doing is hurtful is beside the point. You put your foot down and stop their behavior towards you.

Co-Workers

This can be a trickier area, as you have to see these people every day. They often get you to do their job, slack off while you do the work or expect you to lie for them.

Setting boundaries will stop their behavior towards you, and hopefully, others, as well. Tell them you will not cover for them, do their job or help them by doing favors.

They will need to do the work themselves or, more likely, try to leach on to someone else. You can also report them to management. If it is management that is doing it, go to the next level above them.

Benefits of Detoxifying

Getting these people out of your life will help you feel like a great weight has been lifted. Toxic people take their pleasure in destroying your self-esteem. You won’t feel guilty or bad because they won’t be there to make you feel that way.

Once you have removed them, it will be easier to recognize the next one coming and you’ll be able to stop them before they latch on to you. You will feel better about you and be pleased you were able to get them out of your life.

Taking care of yourself first is the most important step. Getting the negative people away from you makes the rest of it so much easier.

You’re Worth It

You deserve to be happy and live your life guilt-free. Removing toxic people from your life is a great place to start. It will free you from feeling bad about yourself because they won’t be there to do it.

We have enough hurdles in our lives. Why engage with people who don’t have our best interests at heart? You owe it to yourself to surround yourself with better people.

You will never all the toxins out of your life but you can make great improvements by getting rid of the toxic people. Once you do that, here are some great ways to rebuild your self-esteem.