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INFLUENCES OF SELF ESTEEM

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There are three main stimuli to self esteem:

  1. i.        Reflected appraisal– This refers to messages received from those who assess you. For example, people tend to be unable to believe in themselves with low self esteem once those who are close to them do not acknowledge them.
  2. ii.        Social comparison – is the individuals’ evaluation done by comparison of one’s own capability, characteristics and achievements to others. If a person is surrounded by superior people perceived to be more talented, they tend to lose their esteem and the ‘versa’ is true with low self esteem.
  3. iii.        Self-worth contingencies – This is how self esteem is influenced and this is through what is professed to be of utmost importance to us. For example, one person’s self esteem is raised in academics hence gaining a lot of friends.

They are likely to abuse themselves, as well as might stay in the physically and emotionally abusive relationships. Low self esteem can actually affect every aspect of lives our relationships, income, and health. I have also seen firsthand how the low self esteem will lead to debit, under earning, obesity and anorexia, as well as anti-social behavior. Our self esteem evolves and develops throughout lives when we build the image of ourselves through experiences with various people as well as activities. Experiences during childhood play large role in shaping of the basic self esteem“.

Lots of times, in case, we are suffering from the low self-esteem in the childhood, then this might plague us in our adolescence & adulthood. In case, we are suffering from the negative thoughts regarding ourselves we will attract the negative situations, and when provided many options, we might just see the negative solution, as it matches the comfort level. Plenty of our time is actually spent dealing with self absorbed negative thoughts, which we can’t be of service to people. That motivated me, as I am the spiritual person and can help others. For past decade I have studied methods to improve my own self esteem as well as are keenly aware how self esteem issues may impact lives of family and friends. And this led in improving my diet as well as dressing better that in turn lead to productivity & satisfaction in work life that lead to income & opportunities. Think about your personality and find one thing that is admirable. Are you kind, compassionate, creative or tenacious? Focus on one aspect of the personality & watch what actually happens.

Reevaluating Negative Feelings

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Self Esteem Scared Child PicSelf Esteem– If you were to encounter a small child who appeared scared, confused, or abandoned, you would likely do everything in your power to nurture and comfort her. Yet how do you treat yourself when you feel insecure, scared, lonely, abandoned or otherwise needy? Too often we simply deny these feelings; or else we become critical or rejecting toward ourselves for having them. One of the most profound transformations you can make along the road to greater self-esteem is to re-perceive feelings of insecurity and inadequacy as pleas for attention from your inner child rather than as signs of weakness to be gotten rid of. You will heal yourself faster by acknowledging and nurturing the needy child behind your negative feeling states instead of trying to push away your inner child’s needs.

The next time you feel frightened, insecure, inadequate, vulnerable, or angry, frustrated, and fed up, try asking yourself “What is the need behind this feeling?” What is it that my inner child needs right now?” Then take the time to give your child within the attention, caring, or nurturing she or he needs, and you’ll be surprised how much better you feel.

Learning to re-preceive negative feelings as pleas for attention from your inner child will transform your life and contribute greatly toward your self esteem. This is what “becoming a good parent to yourself” is all about.

Examples of Disguised Pleas for Help From Your Inner Child

You’ve just come home from a hard day or work. You see yourself in the bathroom mirror and you can’t stand the way you look. Your makeup looks too heavy and it’s smeared besides. You look and feel like an old floozy. You begin to think “What’s the use?” You could choose to sink into a depression, but instead ask your inner child what she wants at that moment. Intead of fixing your make up you decide to fill the bathtub with warm bubbly water. You soak in warm water and stay in the tub as long as you would like. When you look in the mirror, you look pink and warm. You feel more forgiving of the way you look- after all, you’ve had a hard day!