Building Your Self-Confidence

Do you often find yourself doubting your ability to meet new people, make a good impression, or successfully accomplish tasks? Do you consider yourself to be not as well-off or confident as you once were, or would like to be? If so, you’re likely suffering from low self-esteem. You can work towards changing your mentality and building self-confidence to create a better life for yourself though.

What is Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem is “the degree to which one feels confident, valuable, and worthy of respect.” To put it plainly, self-esteem is a person’s own estimation about their value, ranging from notions of physical beauty to intellect, and even a gauging of how successful they’ve been in life as a whole.

A person’s level of self-esteem can drastically impact their behavior and mental state. People with high self-esteem tend to feel positive about themselves. They believe they’ve made successful choices and a good amount of progress toward their personal goals and life ambitions. On the other hand, people with low self-esteem are more likely to view themselves negatively. They feel shameful or doubtful about their personal progress and ability to make desired changes in their life.

Low self-esteem can also have debilitating effects on mental health. The American Psychiatric Association (APA) recognizes low self-esteem as a symptom of other mental health conditions which often leads to secondary issues such as anxiety and depression.

Who Suffers from Low Self-Esteem?

Low self-esteem is an incredibly common condition in people of all ages, cultures, occupations and economic groups. One does not necessarily have to be living in any particular condition of poor health or financial hardship to suffer from low self-esteem. Many people who would otherwise be considered successful and healthy have poor self-confidence.

Certain groups of people do seem to be more likely to suffer from low self-confidence. Studies show that high school-aged students are more prone to low self-esteem. Roughly 20 percent of teens experiencing depression before they reach adulthood. Approximately 44 percent of teen girls and 15 percent of teen boys are attempting to lose weight to feel better about themselves. More than 40 percent of boys engage in exercise in an attempt to build muscle to meet perceived notions of attractiveness.

The Royal Society for Public Health conducted a survey of people between the ages of 16 and 24 in the UK about their social media habits and self-described mental health. The study found that among social media platforms, Instagram was the most damaging to self-esteem. Of those surveyed, seven out of ten experienced cyber-bullying, with only thirty-seven percent having reported the harassment; 91 percent of those bullied said no action was taken by the social media network to reprimand bullies. Fortunately, the study also found that nearly seventy percent of young adults reported receiving support of some kind through social media during difficult or trying times.

The Consequences of Low Self-Esteem

Once someone develops a negative impression of themselves, the attitude tends to invade every aspect of their mentality. How this attitude manifests itself differs from person to person but seems to follow general patterns of behavior. Low-self esteem can be hard to manage but determining what pattern your low-self esteem follows can make it easier to overcome. Low self-esteem is defined by three major patterns:

Imposter Syndrome: Someone masks their insecurities by touting or exaggerating accomplishments, fearing that failures will reveal their flawed self.

Rebellion Model:  Someone identifies those who project an air of indifference towards others’ opinions as an attempt to convince themselves they also don’t care. These people tend to act out and defy authority.

Victimhood Model: Someone who convinces themselves, they are helpless in the face of challenges and use pity to avoid making changes.

The consequences of low self-esteem can also be dangerous as studies have found that substance abuse is commonly associated with low self-confidence, and worldwide more deaths are caused by low self-esteem and depression-related suicides each year than homicide or war.

Building Better Self-Confidence

The most recommended aid for building better self-confidence is to seek the help of a therapist. These professionals are experts at helping you uncover and work through the underlying causes of your negative self-image. This is done in an environment that is both comforting and private. It’s not difficult to find therapy options in your area; most cities have several local therapists who can build a regular meeting schedule with you.

There are articles, websites and self-help options to guide you to improve your self-esteem. If you are looking for lower cost or options to do from home, a quick internet search for ‘building self-confidence’ will show you things to do yourself to build confidence.

Putting it All Together

It’s important to keep in mind that you’re not alone, as there are millions of others facing the same difficulties.  There is a huge well of resources available to help you get the support you need.

You can overcome low self-esteem, and it often starts with making small changes day-to-day. The key is to realize your value and work toward appreciating the things that make you truly unique in life. If you need help, take advantage of the resources available to you. Start the process of working toward a more confident you today.

The Thin Line Between Self-care and Overindulgence

Ever thought to yourself, “I’ve worked hard today, I deserve that piece of a cake?” Maybe you thought that the cake was a reward for a good day at work and would boost your mood. Whatever the case, if the slice of cake you ate would have sufficed to feed 4 people you may be overindulging and not really practicing self-care.

Most of us don’t do enough self-care, and when we do, we tend to go overboard. Finding balance in life can be difficult, especially in this material society where most of us work full time. Stress, sedentary lifestyle, and unhealthy habits all contribute to a growing need for self-care.

However, self-care may be as foreign as most other languages and all that is known is that there is an entire section dedicated to it at the bookstore. Despite this, many continue to struggle with self-care and finding that delicate balance between over-doing it and healing oneself.

What is Self-Care?

There are different types of self-care. Medical self-care pertains to your health and often requires health insurance. There are some great online resources for medical self-care information. Staying active, getting regular check-ups with your doctor and avoiding things like nicotine are all a part of medical self-care. Though never fun, preventative tests, procedures, and regular check-ups are all necessary if you are going to live a long, happy, healthy life.

Mental health self-care is another animal altogether, though there may be some cross-over with the medical realm. Coping with stress is a difficult and life-long endeavor, which even the experts at the CDC may have trouble with from time to time. Areas of trouble in mental health may call for medication such as antidepressants.

More often, however, mental health self-care means taking a day off from work once a month to recover and take care of what you need. Day in and day out, things are demanded of us and unless we take the time for ourselves, we run the risk of breaking.

One day out of the month take time to catch up on errands and get a massage, pedicure, or whatever you need. You are taking care of you.

Allowing yourself time to recover from stress and giving yourself a break every now and then is what self-care is all about.


Self-Care Obstacles and Needs

The job, the significant other, the friends who just won’t take no for an answer – these are all common reasons why we don’t take the time to take care of ourselves. Maybe you are prone to watching too much TV and staying sedentary. Whatever the case, these kinds of obstacles block you from living your best life and can absolutely be remedied.

Many people work all week and scramble to catch up on errands and with friends on the weekend. By Monday morning they often feel just as tired as they were on Friday with the whole week ahead of them. This may feel like a situation with no way out, however, you can find ways to balance your life.

Get enough sleep and schedule time with friends on your lunch breaks so that you get that quality time with loved ones. Sleep and connecting with those who matter to us is critical for living a fulfilling existence. We are more than just workers slaving away for a paycheck.

Take a good look at what you eat – are you eating a balanced, nutritious diet full of veggies and unprocessed foods? If your idea of meals centers around a fast-food drive through the answer is no. Our bodies are amazing machines that require the right kind of fuel to function properly. If you need more information on eating better, go to nutrition.gov for more on eating right.


Overindulgence vs. Self-Care

Is eating a piece of cake overindulging? It depends. Are you in a healthy weight range and decently active? If yes, then go for it. However, if every day after work you decide to eat a large piece of cake for a job well done, you are on the side of overindulgence. The same situation is true if you decide to go shopping instead of eating cake to reward yourself.

Too much of any good thing becomes something else that does not positively affect our health or lives. Phrases like work hard, play hard are so ingrained in our minds that we may not really be aware of what we need. Far too many of us also feel ashamed or guilty if we say “no” to our employers or friends when something is asked of us. As a consequence, we often put self-care at the bottom of the list or remove it altogether.

In an attempt to compensate for lack of self-care we then overindulge. For instance, some of us chose to work ourselves to the bone and then eat an unhealthy meal, this cycle only further taxes our already fatigued body.

Overspending is another common attempt at compensating. Instead of reading a good book after a nice bath, we overstimulate ourselves and create financial stress by turning our anxiety towards the shopping mall and stressing our limited resources.

Eating and shopping are certainly not the only areas commonly over or underutilized. Exercise is another big one, as are prescription pills, drinking, and watching Netflix.

Healthy Middle

The healthy middle looks differently for everyone. Everyone has that friend whose energy seems limitless no matter how much they take on. Don’t try to be someone you are not. Assess your own strengths and weaknesses and find where you need to focus your self-care time and energy.

Maybe you need a spa day with a friend or just and nice relaxing bath. If you have not exercised in living memory, maybe you could go on a hike with a friend or join a local exercise studio. Finding friends and support when exercising has been proven to improve the all-around experience.

Whatever you need in life, take it. Don’t apologize and don’t stress or feel guilty for taking care of you. You are important and deserve to live a healthy, fulfilling life. Get started living your best life today.


meditation for self-confidence

5 Ways to Use Meditation for Self-Confidence and Improved Self-Esteem

The potential of meditation holds no bounds.

It’s been used in a wide variety of mental health practices. At its crux is the method of letting go of the “self.”

For many, meditation is an easy way to ground themselves spiritually. They can use it to create a more balanced and peaceful lifestyle and, most importantly, manage daily stress.

Your self-esteem plays a huge role in your mental health, your professional success, and even your physical well-being. For these reasons, it’s essential to maintain a positive sense of self.

Adding meditation for self-confidence into your daily regimen could be a great solution if you need help with confidence. Read on to learn more.

Implementing Meditation for Self-Confidence

Some have described their roadblock with increasing confidence and self-esteem as a struggle with quieting the inner voices that tell them they aren’t good enough.

Meditations for self-esteem can help combat those negative thoughts. It will quiet the inner voices and allow you to train your brain into letting go of the negative and focusing on the positive.

Here are five easy ways to get started on practicing meditation for self-love.

1. Empower Yourself

Begin each meditation session with some focus words or phrases that will guide your session towards self-confidence. Try imagining how you would speak to a child or even your younger self. How would you encourage them?

Focus on short and simple statements that pack a powerful punch. Think of key phrases that you can easily agree with while meditating.

This will allow you to more easily implement it throughout the rest of your day.

2. Recite Positive Affirmations

Meditation for self-confidence doesn’t need to be a formal event that you carve out for your day. Simply practicing the act of positive affirmations can do wonders if you’re feeling down on yourself and need a pick me up.

Write down several phrases that resonate with you. Recite them throughout the day to remind yourself of how amazing and capable you are.

Here are a few examples:

  • I don’t sweat the small stuff.
  • I can and I will.
  • I overcome fears by following my dreams.
  • I am in charge of how I feel today and I am choosing happiness.

Make one of these your mantra and you’ll feel your self-confidence soar.

3. Harnessing Failure into Growth

One of the most common causes of low self-confidence is past failures. Making mistakes, experiencing embarrassing moments, and even failures of epic proportions are all a part of personal growth.

Those times of failure can be long gone, but they may have serious residual effects. They can prevent us from moving forward and can have detrimental consequences.

Try and think of a time when you failed that still haunts you today. You may not think it, but that failure may keep you from moving forward. Areas of your life like a positive career move or finding love may be tinged with discomfort or sadness.

Practice a form of meditation where you resurface those feelings in times of failure. Take this time to redefine what that experience meant.

Why did you fail? What did you learn from that experience? How are you a smarter and stronger human being because of that moment?

Everything happens for a reason, especially failures. Take those moments and turn them into a guide on how to practice self-love in the future.

4. Consider the “What If?”

Building off of learning from failures, it’s equally important to consider the question of “what if?”

What if you got the promotion? What if you found the love of your life? What if you had an amazing night because you stopped worrying about your appearance?

This statement can also be implemented into your daily meditation practice. Ask yourself questions like:

  • What if you followed these meditative guides to take you on a path towards self-love?
  • What if you implemented these tools to find a confident new self?
  • What if these meditations towards self-confidence led you on a path to a happier and healthier you?

Consider these questions when you’re considering your meditative practice and your personal definition of self-confidence.

5. Envision Your Confidence

Similar to empowering yourself and positive affirmations, visualization does wonders to meditation.

What does confidence mean to you? Confidence has a wide range of definitions to different individuals.

It could mean feeling comfortable in your own skin. It could mean having a sense of calm in the workplace. It could also mean having the courage to ask someone on a date.

No matter your definition, envision that confidence. Think of a time when you were feeling especially confident. Think of a character or personality that exudes confidence in a way you would like.

Harness those feelings of confidence into this meditation to eliminate your insecurities. The more you implement this practice, the more natural those feelings will become. In time, they’ll spill into your everyday life.

Next Steps to Self-Worth Meditation

The key to any practice is diligence and discipline. Engaging in just one self-worth meditation session isn’t enough.

Practice meditation for self-confidence as often as you can. Think of this as a full lifestyle change that will affect your day-to-day life. It’s a top priority to practice as often as possible.

Ideally, these tips will lead you to a healthier and more confident lifestyle quickly and efficiently.

What’s great about purposeful meditation is that you’ll notice the positive benefits of your practice immediately. You’ll begin to be more aware of your emotions and will start acting out your confident actions daily.

Soon, these actions and feelings will become second nature–a new part of your personality and lifestyle.

Self Esteem Solutions offers a variety of tips and resources to implement positive self-esteem practices into your everyday life. Check out our resources and guides today for more information on how to practice self-love.