removing toxic people from your life

Why Removing Toxic People From Your Life Will Boost Your Self Esteem

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Some days, it’s enough to just get one foot in front of the other. When you have someone in your life who constantly makes those steps harder, it’s a wonder we even have the ability to leave the house.

We work at getting the toxins out of our bodies. We watch what we eat and cut back on alcohol. We are very conscious of taking care of the toxins released into the environment. What about us? What about our mental spaces?

Removing toxic people from your life can make a huge difference in your self-worth. Being chastised or put down all the time becomes what we expect. But we shouldn’t.

If it seems impossible to get toxic people out of your life, it isn’t. Here are a few ways to get started and the benefits you can expect.

Identify The Toxins

Just like leaded gas or weed killer, we need to identify the people who make us feel bad. Once you identify who, you will have a better insight into the why.

Who

When you go out with friends or return home from a family gathering feeling worse, that’s the place to start.

Feelings of dread before a social function, work or school can all be signs you have someone toxic in your life. Take a moment to ask yourself why you feel this way and why you don’t want to see them.

Why

Family members can be the worst culprits. Life-long jealousies and rivalries never leave. Whether it’s a co-worker or friend, look at what they are doing to make you feel bad and why.

They could have a horrid home life, bad marriage or just be a negative person. The ‘glass half empty’ people don’t realize, the glass can always be filled up. The way they treat you has nothing to do with you.

It’s Not You, It’s Them

The most important thing you will realize is it’s not you. It’s all on them. You don’t need to understand the reason behind their bad behavior and attitude. They lash out at you mostly because they can.

It could be jealousy, it could be that they see you as an easy target or they are petty. It doesn’t matter. All you need to do is recognize them for what they are and start making moves to get them out of your life.

Removing Toxic People From Your Life

It’s never going to be easy, but your well-being depends on it. Family, friends. co-workers all need to be removed or distanced from you. It’s not always easy to take people out of our lives completely.

Set Boundaries

This will be very helpful. Set the boundaries and stick to them. Toxic people tend to creep back in over time. You must be firm. Remove them from all your social media platforms, block their number and don’t respond to their communications.

Family

Tell them you have had enough and stop letting them take advantage of you. The strongest word you need is, “No”. No, you won’t babysit or drive them somewhere or lend them money.

Stop attending family gatherings and tell them why you are not coming. When it comes to major holidays, you will have to decide for yourself if it’s worth it. Don’t engage unless absolutely necessary.

Friends

The toxic friends are not really friends at all. Cut them loose. We often get saddled with these people through other friends or work relationships. Their poison starts slowly, taking advantage of you, wanting favors or slowly chipping away at your self-esteem.

These types of people are not your friend. The sooner you are rid of them, the better. Don’t be afraid to tell them what you think of them and why you are no longer going to associate with them.

You don’t need to be mean; just honest. Whether they know what they are doing is hurtful is beside the point. You put your foot down and stop their behavior towards you.

Co-Workers

This can be a trickier area, as you have to see these people every day. They often get you to do their job, slack off while you do the work or expect you to lie for them.

Setting boundaries will stop their behavior towards you, and hopefully, others, as well. Tell them you will not cover for them, do their job or help them by doing favors.

They will need to do the work themselves or, more likely, try to leach on to someone else. You can also report them to management. If it is management that is doing it, go to the next level above them.

Benefits of Detoxifying

Getting these people out of your life will help you feel like a great weight has been lifted. Toxic people take their pleasure in destroying your self-esteem. You won’t feel guilty or bad because they won’t be there to make you feel that way.

Once you have removed them, it will be easier to recognize the next one coming and you’ll be able to stop them before they latch on to you. You will feel better about you and be pleased you were able to get them out of your life.

Taking care of yourself first is the most important step. Getting the negative people away from you makes the rest of it so much easier.

You’re Worth It

You deserve to be happy and live your life guilt-free. Removing toxic people from your life is a great place to start. It will free you from feeling bad about yourself because they won’t be there to do it.

We have enough hurdles in our lives. Why engage with people who don’t have our best interests at heart? You owe it to yourself to surround yourself with better people.

You will never all the toxins out of your life but you can make great improvements by getting rid of the toxic people. Once you do that, here are some great ways to rebuild your self-esteem.

low self-esteem in relationships

Your Guide to Loving Someone With Low Self Esteem

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More people than ever before are struggling with low self esteem.

But if you’re dating someone who has a low opinion of themselves, you know that it doesn’t take long for their insecurities to start negatively impacting your relationship.

It can be tiring and frustrated to have to constantly build your partner up, only to have them knock themselves down again.

In this post, we’ll tell you how to help someone who hates themselves learn to see all the positive and fun attributes in themselves that you do when you look at them.

From celebrating minor accomplishments to taking the time to listen and let them vent, these techniques will make loving someone with low self esteem easier on both you and your partner.

1. Point out Their Positive Traits

The truth is that people with low esteem often don’t think that they’re good at anything.

They can even believe that they don’t have much to offer the world, which can lead to serious depression and even self-harm or suicide.

They may believe that no one will miss them when they’re gone, or they make just feel like they’re a burden on others.

In other words: low self esteem and extreme guilt often go hand in hand.

How can you help your partner with this?

By pointing out their positive traits, and highlighting the things that they’re good at.

Leave a note on the fridge that thanks them for fixing the porch light. Slip a handwritten card into their lunchbox or briefcase telling them how much their kind words meant to you.

You can compliment their looks, their abilities, their work performance, or even the smaller ways in which they help you around the house.

Whatever you choose to compliment, just make sure that you do it genuinely.

The element of surprise is good here, too.

Send unexpected flowers at work, mail them a letter without telling them, or even create a scavenger hunt where each clue contains a compliment.

2. Celebrate Their Accomplishments

When you’re dating someone with a lack of self confidence, or if you’re in a longterm relationship with someone with low self esteem, we know you want to help them.

But how can you learn how to boost someone’s confidence without coming across as patronizing?

Smaller celebrations when something good happens to them is an awesome place to start.

You don’t need to go all out, as they may not be comfortable with tons of attention or attending a huge party in their honor.

Instead, if they get a raise or promotion, or even just get through a tough meeting at work, bake them their favorite meal or buy cupcakes from a local bakery.

If you have children, have them make the person with low self esteem a card.

Take them to a movie, head out on a hike together, or do another celebratory activity when they accomplish something.

This lets them know that they’ve made you proud, and that they’ve accomplished something that deserves to be recognized and celebrated.

3. Be Patient with Them

When you want to learn how to help someone who hates themselves, we know that it can be frustrating to know that they don’t see all the amazing things that you see in them in themselves.

Often, their sense of self doubt can lead to fights — which will only make the person with low self esteem feel even worse about themselves.

One of the most important things to remember about loving someone with low self esteem is that patience is incredibly important.

It may take much more time than you initially expected for them to believe it when you tell them how much you love them or how hot you think they look.

This isn’t necessarily because they think you’re lying to them, but instead all circles back to those feelings of self-loathing and self doubt. Often, they just don’t feel worthy or that they “deserve” a loving partner.

Be willing to wait for them to understand that you’re not going anywhere.

When they’re experiencing an especially serious bout of depression and self esteem issues, remind them that you’re there to listen. You don’t even have to contradict them when they say bad things about themselves — though we know that you’ll want to.

Sometimes, just letting them speak and say what they think of themselves out loud can help them to realize how ridiculous they sound.

You can even share and reveal a few insecurities of your own with your low self esteem partner. Remind them that everyone, whether it’s the CEO of a major company or the woman behind them in line at the grocery store, deals with self esteem issues.

They’re certainly not alone.

Loving Someone with Low Self Esteem: How Else Can You Help?

We hope that this post has helped you to better understand the process of loving someone with low self esteem.

This post has illustrated that there are many things you can do to learn how to boost someone’s confidence.

At the end of the day, the person with a lack of confidence and a sense of self doubt will also need to take things into their own hands.

This is where we can help.

In addition to acting as a supportive partner, encourage them to take a look at our website. You may find the information on it is helpful to you, as well!

We offer more articles about how to improve your self esteem, exercises and activities to boost confidence, and much more.

Make this the year that you and your partner really celebrate yourselves.