More people than ever before are struggling with low self esteem.
But if you’re dating someone who has a low opinion of themselves, you know that it doesn’t take long for their insecurities to start negatively impacting your relationship.
It can be tiring and frustrated to have to constantly build your partner up, only to have them knock themselves down again.
In this post, we’ll tell you how to help someone who hates themselves learn to see all the positive and fun attributes in themselves that you do when you look at them.
From celebrating minor accomplishments to taking the time to listen and let them vent, these techniques will make loving someone with low self esteem easier on both you and your partner.
1. Point out Their Positive Traits
The truth is that people with low esteem often don’t think that they’re good at anything.
They can even believe that they don’t have much to offer the world, which can lead to serious depression and even self-harm or suicide.
They may believe that no one will miss them when they’re gone, or they make just feel like they’re a burden on others.
In other words: low self esteem and extreme guilt often go hand in hand.
How can you help your partner with this?
By pointing out their positive traits, and highlighting the things that they’re good at.
Leave a note on the fridge that thanks them for fixing the porch light. Slip a handwritten card into their lunchbox or briefcase telling them how much their kind words meant to you.
You can compliment their looks, their abilities, their work performance, or even the smaller ways in which they help you around the house.
Whatever you choose to compliment, just make sure that you do it genuinely.
The element of surprise is good here, too.
Send unexpected flowers at work, mail them a letter without telling them, or even create a scavenger hunt where each clue contains a compliment.
2. Celebrate Their Accomplishments
When you’re dating someone with a lack of self confidence, or if you’re in a longterm relationship with someone with low self esteem, we know you want to help them.
But how can you learn how to boost someone’s confidence without coming across as patronizing?
Smaller celebrations when something good happens to them is an awesome place to start.
You don’t need to go all out, as they may not be comfortable with tons of attention or attending a huge party in their honor.
Instead, if they get a raise or promotion, or even just get through a tough meeting at work, bake them their favorite meal or buy cupcakes from a local bakery.
If you have children, have them make the person with low self esteem a card.
Take them to a movie, head out on a hike together, or do another celebratory activity when they accomplish something.
This lets them know that they’ve made you proud, and that they’ve accomplished something that deserves to be recognized and celebrated.
3. Be Patient with Them
When you want to learn how to help someone who hates themselves, we know that it can be frustrating to know that they don’t see all the amazing things that you see in them in themselves.
Often, their sense of self doubt can lead to fights — which will only make the person with low self esteem feel even worse about themselves.
One of the most important things to remember about loving someone with low self esteem is that patience is incredibly important.
It may take much more time than you initially expected for them to believe it when you tell them how much you love them or how hot you think they look.
This isn’t necessarily because they think you’re lying to them, but instead all circles back to those feelings of self-loathing and self doubt. Often, they just don’t feel worthy or that they “deserve” a loving partner.
Be willing to wait for them to understand that you’re not going anywhere.
When they’re experiencing an especially serious bout of depression and self esteem issues, remind them that you’re there to listen. You don’t even have to contradict them when they say bad things about themselves — though we know that you’ll want to.
Sometimes, just letting them speak and say what they think of themselves out loud can help them to realize how ridiculous they sound.
You can even share and reveal a few insecurities of your own with your low self esteem partner. Remind them that everyone, whether it’s the CEO of a major company or the woman behind them in line at the grocery store, deals with self esteem issues.
They’re certainly not alone.
Loving Someone with Low Self Esteem: How Else Can You Help?
We hope that this post has helped you to better understand the process of loving someone with low self esteem.
This post has illustrated that there are many things you can do to learn how to boost someone’s confidence.
At the end of the day, the person with a lack of confidence and a sense of self doubt will also need to take things into their own hands.
This is where we can help.
In addition to acting as a supportive partner, encourage them to take a look at our website. You may find the information on it is helpful to you, as well!
We offer more articles about how to improve your self esteem, exercises and activities to boost confidence, and much more.
Make this the year that you and your partner really celebrate yourselves.