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Self Esteem is a Must to Have Thing for Every Person!

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All the importance on self esteem building in recent years has done little to teach people what to do when they hit a bang in the road. Research shows that our inner critic brought on by age, illness or other inevitable part of life. Recently scientist Paul Gilbert of Kingsway Hospital have suggested that being self compassionate rather than self critical is more likely to help us to get greater success and happiness in the long run especially in rough times.

Gilbert links self esteem with three interacting emotional system in the brain. Each system has its own evolutionary principle and mediating neurotransmitters. He was also associates self esteem to rely heavily on dopamine, skills, status and so on. Neuro adrenalin helps people to decide either fight or submit in the circumstances of a threat. Glibert said that it can be stimulate by self criticism. The threat system goes into action when our self esteem is threatened or when we come across someone that we think to be better than us. We may put down the other person or attack ourselves without the knowledge of our own faults.  Luckily there is the mammalian care giving system which is likely to be evolved with our requirement to associate and take care of our young.

 

Reevaluating Negative Feelings

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Self Esteem Scared Child PicSelf Esteem– If you were to encounter a small child who appeared scared, confused, or abandoned, you would likely do everything in your power to nurture and comfort her. Yet how do you treat yourself when you feel insecure, scared, lonely, abandoned or otherwise needy? Too often we simply deny these feelings; or else we become critical or rejecting toward ourselves for having them. One of the most profound transformations you can make along the road to greater self-esteem is to re-perceive feelings of insecurity and inadequacy as pleas for attention from your inner child rather than as signs of weakness to be gotten rid of. You will heal yourself faster by acknowledging and nurturing the needy child behind your negative feeling states instead of trying to push away your inner child’s needs.

The next time you feel frightened, insecure, inadequate, vulnerable, or angry, frustrated, and fed up, try asking yourself “What is the need behind this feeling?” What is it that my inner child needs right now?” Then take the time to give your child within the attention, caring, or nurturing she or he needs, and you’ll be surprised how much better you feel.

Learning to re-preceive negative feelings as pleas for attention from your inner child will transform your life and contribute greatly toward your self esteem. This is what “becoming a good parent to yourself” is all about.

Examples of Disguised Pleas for Help From Your Inner Child

You’ve just come home from a hard day or work. You see yourself in the bathroom mirror and you can’t stand the way you look. Your makeup looks too heavy and it’s smeared besides. You look and feel like an old floozy. You begin to think “What’s the use?” You could choose to sink into a depression, but instead ask your inner child what she wants at that moment. Intead of fixing your make up you decide to fill the bathtub with warm bubbly water. You soak in warm water and stay in the tub as long as you would like. When you look in the mirror, you look pink and warm. You feel more forgiving of the way you look- after all, you’ve had a hard day!

Overcoming negative attitudes toward your inner child

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Self esteem: A basic truth is that you tend to treat your own inner child in much the same way that your parents treated you as a child. For better or worse, you internalize your parents attitudes and behaviors. If they were overly critical toward you, you likely grew up overly self critical, especially of your “childish” or less rational, impulsive side. If they neglected you, you likely grew up tending to ignore or neglect the needs of your own inner child. If they were too busy for you as a child, you’re likely to be too busy for your inner child as an adult. If they abused you, you may have become self destructive as an adult or else many be abusive of other. If your parents placed a taboo on acknowledging and expressing your feelings and impulses, you may have grown up denying your feelings. The list goes on. To cultivate a healing, caring relationship with your own inner child – to become a good parent to yourself – you need to overcome any internalized parental attitudes that cause you to criticize, abuse, neglect or deny the needs and feelings of your child within.

This can affect your self esteem greatly resulting in further damage to personal and family relationships.