The internet is a vessel that may shape your self esteem, positively or negatively. The internet is the simplest and easiest way to convey information to many people around the globe. Self esteem and the internet in most cases is the positive side of our lives. Much information from the internet concerning self esteem is usually positive and thus helps us develop our self esteem. Millions of healthy topics on our health and self esteem are found on the internet. The internet also provides resources like books and references that help us shape our thinking and judgment calls to constructive self esteem. Through the internet, we learn the various weaknesses and strengths that are associated with self esteem.

Why is building the self esteem by recognition very important?

While somebody gives you the compliment and recognizes you to do something, how you feel? Imagine, for the moment, to be complimented by your family, friends, customers and staff every day. What will it do to the self-esteem, self confidence & self respect, and finally self-worth – bottom line? By building self esteem by recognition is the positive reinforcement. The positive reinforcement of the actions gets these actions repeated. The recognition & praise reinforces our thoughts about ourselves & helps to make us think that we are better we thought what we were. This is how you can build employee the self-esteem. The employee motivation is very positive reinforcement. The positive reinforcements are what builds self-esteem. Self-esteem is a way we see & feel about ourselves internally, through our beliefs and externally by what we accept as beliefs of people. In case, we feel very good about ourselves as well as we think others feel very good about us, and we do better than we will while we see opposite side of coin. Research has actually shown there is the stronger requirement in the society now for recognition (and building one’s self-esteem) there is for money an sex. That says something to build the self esteem & employee motivation.


Essential Life Skills Self Compassion and Self Esteem!

Neff is working an associate professor at the University of Texas, Austin, who suddenly came across the fact that her findings are invaluable. She came to know about it when she was at the mid of her psychological research conducted on self compassion. However, she has managed to stay sympathetic and really compassionate to herself and this is what allowed her to cope with the matter constructively. Such attitude has also allowed her to offer quality insights for How to Parent Her Struggling Son.

Neff has even written about it in the Self-Compassion, released this April. She has mentioned that self compassion and self esteem are the most important life skills that should be acquired by every human being. It’s all about imparting resilience, showing courage, staying energetic and having a creative mind. This sort of approach can really enhance your self esteem.

So many people in this world lack such skills. Self compassion and self esteem have often been misunderstood due to their related soft and indulgent aspects. This phrase can really turn the stomach of Amy Chua, who is the author of the book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. This book has really triggered the core aspect of the debate – How Lenient We can be With Kids and Ourselves. However, psychological researches have even suggested that the outcomes of this debate will never win.


50 Ways to Untwist Your Thinking Part 10

38. The Decision Making Form- If you’re having trouble making up your mind about something, you can use the Decision-Making Form. This form will show will show why you’re getting hung up  and will help you finalize your decision. The purpose of the Decision Making Form is not to tell you what to do, but to show you what the real issues are and how you feel about them.

Exposure Techniques for Anxiety

39. Gradual Exposure and Flooding- Gradual Exposure and Flooding are both forms of exposure therapy for anxiety disorders. When you use Gradual Exposure, you expose yourself to the thing you fear in small steps so that it won’t be quite so terrifying. In contrast, when you use flooding, you expose yourself to the thing you fear all at once. For example, if you have an elevator phobia, force yourself to get on an elevator and stay there, no matter  how anxious you feel, until your fear disappears. Gradual Exposure is less traumatic, but it takes longer. Flooding is much more frightening, but it works more rapidly. Both approaches have been used successfully in the treatment of nearly all forms of anxiety.

40. Response Prevention- Response Prevention is an important key to the treatment of all forms of anxiety. It’s often combined with Exposure. For example, let’s say you have a powerful urge to check the mailbox over and over after you drop a letter in. Using Response Prevention, you would drop a letter into the mailbox and walk away without checking it as you usually do. Your anxiety will temporarily get worse, and you’ll feel compelled to check it. But if you refuse to give in to the urge to check the mailbox, your anxiety will eventually disappear.

50 Ways to Untwist Your Thinking Part 9

35. Paradoxical Cost -Benefit Analysis– List only the advantages of a negative thought, belief, feeling, addiction, or relationship problem. The list will make you aware of all the powerful forces that keep you stuck. Ask yourself, “Given all the advantages of this thought (or attitude or behavior), why should I change?”

36. Devil’s Advocate Technique– This is a Role Playing Technique. Another person plays the role of the Devil who tempts you to drink, overeat, procrastinate, or date the wrong person. You talk back to those thoughts in real time. Role-reversals can be helpful when you get stuck. For example, if you are overweight, imagine being in a mall where fast food is sold. The Devil might say, “Gee, why don’t  you get one of those hot, buttery cinnamon buns? They just came out of our oven. They’d taste so good. You deserve it.” You would fight back and say, “I don’t need a cinnamon bun, and I’ll feel terrible if I give in. I’m determined to stick with my diet, and I’m looking forward to fitting into more attractive clothes.” The Devil can try to break down again, and you will fight back.  This method is surprisingly challenging, especially if the Devil is familiar with your own rationalizations and expresses them in a seductive and persuasive manner.

37. Stimulus Control– If you’re trying to break a bad habit, such as alcoholism or overeating, you can reduce temptation rather than struggling with it. For example, if you drink too much, don’t go to places where alcohol is served, and get rid of all the alcoholic beverages in  your house. Stimulus Control is not a complete treatment, but an important part of a more comprehensive program.

A Sense of Accomplishment

Self Esteem Obstacles Pic

Self Esteem– Accomplishment of personal goals always adds to your self-esteem. If you look back over your life to the times when you felt most confident, you’ll find that they often followed the accomplishment of important goals. Although external achievements can never be the sole basis of a sense of self-worth, they certainly contribute to how you feel about yourself.

If you are dealing with phobias or panic attacks, a most significant accomplishment is the ability to enter into and handle situations that you previously avoided. An even more unassailable sense of achievement is reached when, in addition to confronting phobic situations, you become confident that you can handle any panic reaction that might arise. Those of you who have fully recovered from agoraphobia, social phobias, or panic disorder through conscientiously facing the very things you feared most know hwo much self-confidence and inner strength there is to be gained. Facing your phobias (including the phobia of panic itself) through a process of gradual exposure will, in and of itself, add considerably to your self-esteem.

Beyond the important goal of overcoming phobias and panic, however, are all the other goals you might have in your life. Your sense of self-esteem depends on the feeling that you’re making progress toward all of your goals. If you feel “stuck”  and unable to move toward something important that you want, you may begin to doubt yourself and feel somewhat diminished.

In the Self Esteem Exercises section, you will find an exercise that will help you find your biggest accomplishments in life  and what you would still like to achieve.

Affirmations for Self Esteem – What I Am Learning

Self Esteem – As in the previous article Affirmations for Self Esteem – What I Am, write a list of your favorite affirmations individually on a 3×5 card. Then read through the stack slowly and with feeling once or twice a day.

What I Am Learning

I am learning to love myself more every day

I am learning to believe in my unique worth and capabilities

I am learning to trust myself (and others)

I am learning to recognize and take care of my needs

I am learning to ask others for what I need

I am learning that it’s OK to say no to others when I need to

I am learning to take life one day at a time

I am learning to approach my goals one day at a time

I am learning to take better care of myself

I am learning how to take more time for myself each day

I am learning to let go of doubts and fear

I am learning to let go of worry (or shame)

I am learning that others respect and like me

I am learning how to be more comfortable around others

I am learning to feel more confident in ________________

I am learning that I have a right to ________________

I am learning that it’s OK to make mistakes

I am learning that I don’t have to be perfect to be loved

I am learning to accept myself just the way I am

You can also put these affirmations on tape. Repeat each affirmation twice and leave about 5-10 seconds between different statements. Listen to the tape once a day when you feel relaxed and receptive and watch this do wonders for your self esteem.

Affirmations for Self Esteem – What I Am

Affirmations for Self Esteem – What I Am

Self esteem can be improved by positive self talk. Select your favorite affirmations from the list and write them down individually on 3×5 cards. Then read through the stack slowly and with feeling once or twice a day. Doing this while alternately looking at yourself in the mirror is an excellent idea.

I am lovable and capable

I fully accept and believe in myself just the way I am

I accept all different parts of me

I’m already a worthy person. I don’t have to prove myself.

My feelings and needs are important

It’s OK to think about what I need

It’s good for me to take time for myself

I have many good qualities

I believe in my capabilities and value the unique talents I can offer the world

I am a person of high integrity and sincere purpose

I trust in my ability to succeed at my goals

I am a valuable and important person, worthy of respect of others

Others perceive me as a good an likable person

When other people really get to know me, they like me

Other people like to be around me. They like to hear what I have to say and know what I think.

Others recognize that I have a lot to offer

I deserve to be supported by those people who care for me

I deserve the respect of others

I trust and respect myself and am worthy of the respect of others

I now receive assistance and cooperation from others

I’m optimistic about life. I look forward to and enjoy new challenges.

The more I love myself, the more I am able to love others.

Affirmations for Self Esteem – What I Am Learning

Self Esteem

Self Talk

Self esteem worry picSelf Esteem – What you tell yourself, and your beliefs about yourself, contribute in an obvious and literal way to your self-esteem. If you are feeling inadaquate and powerless, it’s very likely because you belive that you are. By the same token, you can raise your self-esteem simply by working on changing your self talk and basic beliefs about yourself.

When you catch yourself engaging in self-critical or self-victimizing inner dialogues, follow these steps:

1.Disrupt the chain of negative thoughts with some method that diverts your attention away from your mind and helps you to be more in touch with your feelings and body. Any of the following may work:

-Physical activity (household chores or exercise)

-Taking a walk outside

-abdominal breathing exercises

-Five minutes of progressive muscle relaxation

-Snapping a rubber band against your wrist

The point is to do something that slows you down and gives you a bit of distance from  your negative thoughts. It’s difficult to counter negative self-talk when you’re tense and your mind is racing.

2. Challenge your negative self-talk with appropriate questioning if necessary. Good questions to raise with your inner critic might be “What’s the evidence for this?’, “Is this always true?”, or “Am I looking at both sides of this issue?”

3. Counter your negative inner dialogue with positive, self-supportive statements. You may want to design your own positive statements specifically tailored to refute your critic’s statements one by one. Alternatively, you can draw positive counterstatements from a list of affirmations. I will discusss a list of affirmations in my next article.

Physical Well-Being and Body Image

self esteem exercise picSelf Esteem – Physical  health and a sense of personal wellness, vitality, and robustness comprise one of the most important foundations of self esteem.  It’s often difficult to feel good about yourself when you’re feeling physically weak, tired, or ill. Current evidence points to the role of physiological imbalances – often caused by stress in the genesis of panic attacks, agoraphobia, generalized anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Upgrading your physical well-being will have a direct impact on your particular problem with anxiety as well as contribute substantially to self esteem.

The questionnaire below is intended to give you an overview of how you are doing in the area of personal wellness and how this might relate to low self esteem issues.

Am I exercising for at least one half hour three to five times per week?

Do I enjoy the exercise I do?

Do I give myself the opportunity to deeply relax each day through progressive muscle relaxation, visualization, meditation, or some other relaxation method?

Do I give myself at least one hour of “downtime” or leisure time each day?

Do I manage my time so that I am not perpetually rushed?

Do I handle stress or do I feel that it has control of me?

Do I give myself solitary time for personal reflection?

Do I get at least seven hours of sleep every night?

Am I satisfied with the quality and quantity of my sleep?

Am I eating three solid meals each day, including a good size breakfast?

Do I like my living environment? Is the place where I live comfortable and relaxing?

Does smoking tobacco interfere with my physical well-being?

Am I comfortable  with my present weight? If not, what can I do about it?

Do I like my body and the way I appear?

Developing Intimacy and Support Part III

self esteem lonely picSelf Esteem-Just as important as intimacy is the need for each of us to maintain appropriate boundaries within both intimate and other relationships.

Boundaries simply mean that you know where you end and the other person begins. You don’t define your identity in terms of the other person. And above all, you don’t derive your sense of self-worth and self-authority by attempting to take care of, rescue, change, or control the other person. In the past few years, the terms “women who love too much” and “co-dependency” have been used to define those people who, because they lack a solid, internal basis of self-worth, attempt to validate themselves through taking care of, rescuing, or simply pleasing another person. A good indication of loss of boundaries is spending more time talking or thinking about another’s needs or problems than your own and this can be detrimental on your self esteem.

In her best selling book, Women Who Love Too Much, Robin Norwood advocates the following steps in overcoming co-dependency in a close relationship:

Going for help – giving up the idea you can handle it alone

Making recovery from co-dependency your highest priority

Finding a support group of peers who understand the problem

Developing a personal spiritual life where you can let go of self-will and rely on a “Higher Power”

Learning  to stop managing, controlling, or “running the life” of another or others you love

Learning to let go of playing the game of “rescuer” and/or “victim” with the other person

Facing and exploring your own personal problems and pain in depth

Sharing what you have learned with others

Developing Support and Intimacy Part I
Developing Support and Intimacy Part II