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50 Ways to Untwist Your Thinking Part 10

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38. The Decision Making Form- If you’re having trouble making up your mind about something, you can use the Decision-Making Form. This form will show will show why you’re getting hung up  and will help you finalize your decision. The purpose of the Decision Making Form is not to tell you what to do, but to show you what the real issues are and how you feel about them.

Exposure Techniques for Anxiety

39. Gradual Exposure and Flooding- Gradual Exposure and Flooding are both forms of exposure therapy for anxiety disorders. When you use Gradual Exposure, you expose yourself to the thing you fear in small steps so that it won’t be quite so terrifying. In contrast, when you use flooding, you expose yourself to the thing you fear all at once. For example, if you have an elevator phobia, force yourself to get on an elevator and stay there, no matter  how anxious you feel, until your fear disappears. Gradual Exposure is less traumatic, but it takes longer. Flooding is much more frightening, but it works more rapidly. Both approaches have been used successfully in the treatment of nearly all forms of anxiety.

40. Response Prevention- Response Prevention is an important key to the treatment of all forms of anxiety. It’s often combined with Exposure. For example, let’s say you have a powerful urge to check the mailbox over and over after you drop a letter in. Using Response Prevention, you would drop a letter into the mailbox and walk away without checking it as you usually do. Your anxiety will temporarily get worse, and you’ll feel compelled to check it. But if you refuse to give in to the urge to check the mailbox, your anxiety will eventually disappear.

50 Ways to Untwist Your Thinking Part 9

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35. Paradoxical Cost -Benefit Analysis– List only the advantages of a negative thought, belief, feeling, addiction, or relationship problem. The list will make you aware of all the powerful forces that keep you stuck. Ask yourself, “Given all the advantages of this thought (or attitude or behavior), why should I change?”

36. Devil’s Advocate Technique– This is a Role Playing Technique. Another person plays the role of the Devil who tempts you to drink, overeat, procrastinate, or date the wrong person. You talk back to those thoughts in real time. Role-reversals can be helpful when you get stuck. For example, if you are overweight, imagine being in a mall where fast food is sold. The Devil might say, “Gee, why don’t  you get one of those hot, buttery cinnamon buns? They just came out of our oven. They’d taste so good. You deserve it.” You would fight back and say, “I don’t need a cinnamon bun, and I’ll feel terrible if I give in. I’m determined to stick with my diet, and I’m looking forward to fitting into more attractive clothes.” The Devil can try to break down again, and you will fight back.  This method is surprisingly challenging, especially if the Devil is familiar with your own rationalizations and expresses them in a seductive and persuasive manner.

37. Stimulus Control– If you’re trying to break a bad habit, such as alcoholism or overeating, you can reduce temptation rather than struggling with it. For example, if you drink too much, don’t go to places where alcohol is served, and get rid of all the alcoholic beverages in  your house. Stimulus Control is not a complete treatment, but an important part of a more comprehensive program.

50 Ways to Untwist Your Thinking Part 6

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self esteem serenity picSelf Esteem: Humorous techniques

21. Paradoxical Magnification: Instead of refuting your Negative Thoughts, you can buy into them and exxaggerate them. Don’t try to argue with your NTs. Instead, make them as extreme as possible. For example, if you feel inferior, you could tell yourself, “Yes, it’s true. In fact, I’m probably the most inferior person in California at this time.” Paradoxically, this humorous method can sometimes provide objectivity and relief. Of course, if you’re really feeling upset, this may have the unintended effect of making you feel even worse. If so, go on to another method.

22. Shame-Attacking Exercises: If you suffer from shyness, you probably have intense fears of looking foolish in front of other people. Shame-Attacking Exercises are a specific and potent antidote to these kinds of fears. You intentionally do something foolish in public. For example, you could stand up and loudly announce each stop on a bus or shout out the time in a crowded department store. When you make a fool of yourself on purpose, you realize that the world doesn’t really come to an end, and that people don’t really look down on you. This discovery can be tremendously liberating.

29. What-If Technique: This technique is similar to the Downward Arrow Technique, but it’s geared specifically to anxiety. Draw a downward arrow under a Negative Thought and ask yourself, “What if that were true? What’s the worst that could happen? What do I fear the most?” A new Negative Thought or fantasy will come to mind. Write it down under the arrow and repeat the process several times. You will generate additional thoughts until you uncover the fantasy that frightens you the most. Then you can ask  yourself, “How likely is it that this would happen? And could I live with it if it did?”

Self Esteem

50 Ways to Untwist Your Thinking Part
50 Ways to Untwist Your Thinking Part 2
50 Ways to Untwist Your Thinking Part 3
50 Ways to Untwist Your Thinking Part 4
50 Ways to Untwist Your Thinking Part 5
50 Ways to Untwist Your Thinking Part 6
50 Ways to Untwist Your Thinking Part 7
50 Ways to Untwist Your Thinking Part 8

List of Personal Accomplishments

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Self Esteem – In identifying goals for the future, it’s important not to lose sight of what you’ve already accomplished in your life. It’s common to forget about past attainments at those times when you’re feeling dissatisfied with yourself. You can raise your self-esteem in a few minutes by thinking about your life and giving yourself credit for those goals you’ve already achieved.

The following exercise is designed  to help you do this. Think about your entire life as you review each area and make a list of your accomplishments. Keep in mind that while it’s gratifying to have external, “socially recognized” achievements, the most important attainments are more intangible and internal. What you’ve given to others (love, guidance, assistance, etc.) and life lessons you’ve gained on the road to maturity and wisdom are ultimitaley your most important accomplishments.

For each of the following areas, list any accomplishments you’ve had up to the present.

School

Work and Career

Home and Family

Athletics

Arts and Hobbies

Leadership

Prizes or Awards

Personal Growth and Self-Improvement

Charitable Activities

Intangibles Given to Others

Important Life Lessons Learned

Other

Taking personal responsibility for achieving the things you want most out of life and making tangible progress toward obtaining them –will greatly add to your sense of self-esteem. An excellent book for getting started  that I recommended is Susan Jeffer’s Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway Also check out Embracing Fear: and Finding the Courage to Live Your Life.

For more recommended books on fear and goals click here.