How Meditation Can Help You Heal

How Meditation Can Help You Heal

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Meditation has been around for thousands of years. The reason meditation endures is it helps heal the mind and promotes the recovery of the body as well. In the Western world, it is very much underutilized. Everyone needs to learn how to use and promote meditation’s amazing holistic benefits.

What Is Meditation?

Meditation began almost as soon as civilization started. No one knew what to think of meditation all those years ago or what meditation techniques worked best. However, most people already understood with a chaotic mind comes an unsettled spirit. A famous French philosopher once stated, "The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself." What the philosopher meant is to know oneself makes understanding the rest of the world a bit easier. In today's fast-paced, technology-driven day to day life, there has never been a statement so true.

The break down of the word meditation comes from Latin, and it means, 'to ponder.' When we meditate we seek to find a better way to connect to ourselves, our body, our mind, and our spirit. If we can make those connections as we meditate, it helps us become aware of our emotions and how those emotions influence our behavior.

How Old is Meditation?

There are some meditation records which date back to 1500 BC in India. The records relate how some people were learning how to train their mind. This learning of the mind is thought to be the first records of various meditation practices learned and encouraged throughout India. But India wasn't alone in creating meditation literature. There were also early forms of meditation referenced back in the 3rd and 6th century in China. Ancient writings have been found by Chinese philosophers on how to embrace simplicity or guard tranquility. Both of the concepts are known in meditation.

Today, meditation is used to create healthy hobbies in your mind and body to build self-esteem or find tranquility. Meditation is also used to align your body and spirit.

How Meditation Can Help You Heal

There are many times one suffers from a chronic condition or physical condition which pains them greatly. If you are suffering, sometimes you think you will try meditating, but once you cross your legs or try to get to a placid, tranquil inner space, you lose track of what you are doing because you get a cramp in your leg or you start thinking about work. If you let go of all the what-ifs in your life and concentrate on where you are right now, what you're doing this second and let your inner voice be heard, you will start to clear out the ongoing noise in your head.

You will find a place in yourself where there is inner peace and wisdom. Once you find it, you will almost always be able to find it again. It's like your stash of zen and calmness you can pull out when you need or want it. You will know you are doing meditation the right way because most of the time a random event happens that gives you the insight you were struggling to find. You will realize you were able to get rid of the noises in your mind and concentrate on what your soul and body needed to replenish, rejuvenate, and renew.

Replenishment, Rejuvenation, and Renewal

There are medical studies that prove you have the power of replenishing and renewing your DNA cellular rejuvenation. You can do this through energy healing exercises such as chi, meditation, and yoga. If anyone doubts this benefit, think about how often prolonged stress causes our bodies to break down. Prolonged stress can cause us to catch a cold, get the flu, cause a migraine headache, break out in hives, etc.

Medical research also proves prolonged stress also affects your reproductive abilities, your digestion, memory, and even your bones. You must find a way to counterbalance the parts of your life that bring you stress, anxiety, worry or panic. Meditation is essential to your health at even the cellular level to help bring you more balance and good energy.

Slowing Down

If you find meditation too difficult to get to in the middle of your busy life, at least slowdown. Slowing down helps you take a breath, look around, and feel the moment around you. It doesn't take much time or energy to slow down yet the benefits can be substantial to your long-term health. Meditation is about slowing down your mind and spirit, so you have less impulsive thoughts and more deliberate and well-executed decisions and actions.

Your first instinct may be to deny you are ever impulsive or make bad decisions. But everyone makes impulsive decisions from time to time. The one thing that cures the quick decisions you sometimes regret is slowing down. Create time and space between what you need to do and your thoughts. Inevitably, your first response when you think about something comes from a place of fear, anxiety, stress or people-pleasing. The first response rarely comes from your peaceful, inner spirit who deliberates and then decides.

Visualize Your Healing

One of the most wonderful things about the human brain is the ability to visualize and imagine whatever we want when we want it. Embedded in our memory cells are idyllic pictures of lakes, oceans, mountaintops, crisp air, blue skies, and more. You can visualize those energizing and healthy images into your DNA's spiraling strands. The DNA strands that can help you repair and reproduce healthy cells. It helps you bring light to dark and life to death. There is nothing more important than your spiritual center and how much power it has if you use it. Give it a try and find out meditation can do for you.

Why do we have Low Self Esteem? How Can it be fixed?

Why do we have Low Self Esteem? How Can it be fixed?

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Why is it that loving ourselves can be so hard? Of course we have people around us who love us, like our friends and family. But, if we don't have self esteem, who can we really count on to do that for us? Not loving yourself can stem from low self esteem. In fact, it can sometimes be the root cause as to why we don't love ourselves. This poses the questions: why do we have low self esteem and where does it come from?

Parents and Loved Ones

Low self esteem can come from a disapproving parent or loved one. Even though it is ideal for these people to be our biggest supporters and confidants, this isn't always the case. This should be the source of our love and validation; when this key component in ones life is missing, it is reasonable for it to cause low self esteem. We grow up with our parents being the most important and influential people on our entire lives. Not seeing their child as good enough or giving them the love and attention, self esteem issues arise.

A common example of this is if a parent has very high expectations, or a certain path they want their child to follow, they often put this pressure on them to live up to it. If the child doesn't, parents will often shame them or make them feel bad. This in turn makes the child feel like they are not good enough. Although parents can be the main source of this, it can also come from an authority figure such as a boss, teacher, or coach.

Society

Unfortunately, society plays a huge part on self esteem, especially in the culture we all live in today that is so hyper focused on appearance. The intense access to information is also a downfall when it comes to comparing ourselves to others. "Why don't I look like that girl on the magazine?" Or "How come I don't have the lifestyle that this person on Instagram does". These all can lead to comparing ourselves and our lives to others which generates low self esteem if we somehow feel inferior. The world has, knowing or unknowingly, shaped us to idealize these aspects of our culture and discern ourselves as inadequate if we don't live up to certain standards.

Trauma Effect Self Esteem

Something else that causes low self esteem, according to Self Esteem Solutions, is a life trauma. These things are usually out of our control and can only be coped with on the back end. Traumas could include things like a loved one dying or being bullied at a young age. Being in an abusive relationship can also slowly spark feelings of low self esteem which can grow deeper and worse if the relationship continues. Sexual assault is also a huge reason for low self esteem, especially in women. In fact, 1 in 5 women has been sexually assaulted, and only 1 in 71 men have been.

Individual Expectations

Some low self esteem issues we also have to attribute as a fault of our own. We set expectations for ourselves and then beat ourselves up if we can't live up to them. It is very important to strive for excellence and want what is best in life, however, these expectations we put on ourselves cannot be unrealistic, or we will never get to a place where we feel good about ourselves. It can be hard to find the balance in pursuing the best and pushing ourselves while also staying realistic to our situations. However, it is important to be aware of this as to not set ourselves up for failure.

What's the Fix?

Now the question is posed: How can we improve low self esteem? At this point we have probably found a few reasons as to why you may have it, and most people have these feelings to a certain extent. Many people have low self esteem from multiple reasons above as well. Moving past it and working towards a better mindset is the way forward. This is where we have to change our thinking.

According to Psychology Today, there are steps you can take to walk down this better road of loving yourself! First, you have to be mindful of your thoughts and not let negative self talk tear you down constantly. Just like mentioned at the very beginning of this article, we have to love ourselves first and we cant count on anyone else to do that for us. Second, you have to change your story. If you are always feeling sorry for yourself and expressing that to the outside world, then you, as well as everyone around you, will see you in this light.

Third, comparison has to stop. It is one of the hardest things to not compare ourselves to others, but it is the single biggest reason for low self confidence. You were born as you and can only be you. You should only want to be you because there is not a single person on this earth who can fill your shoes. Stop comparing yourself to others and appreciate all you have to bring to the world.

I know you've heard it before, but exercise. For many reasons this can boost self esteem, and not only will you look healthier, but you will feel better. Last, and maybe most important, be kind. Being kind to others and having a soft heart for what others are going through will allow you to have that kind of care for yourself since you are practicing it outwardly.

The Takeaway

Learning to love yourself is a work in progress and is naturally easier for some people. That's okay. Take it day by day and understand that it doesn't have to happen in a day or a week. Remember that you are you for a reason, and if no one can see that then the world is missing out on something that was put in place with a purpose.

Beat Seasonal Blues with 4 Power Based Self-Esteem Tools

Beat Seasonal Blues with 4 Power Based Self-Esteem Tools

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Beat seasonal blues with 4 power based tips which also enhance your self-esteem. Instead of waking up and feeling blue learn how to fight back.

Beating seasonal depression is easy if you know what tools to use. We have four tools and tips you can use to win the battle against seasonal depression.

Four Tips Which Help You Beat Seasonal Depression

There are four tips we are going to share with you that puts power back into your body and mind. Use these tools when you start to feel seasonal depression coming at you. They give you a concrete way to fight back and move forward.

1) Activity and movement provide physical and psychological benefits. They also allow you to feel and see light around you when you are moving around. This is essential to a good heart circadian rhythm. It brings lightness to the body and spirit. This is vital in fighting back against darkness and depression.

2) Eat healthy foods and avoid junk foods. It's a fact that a healthy diet boost your mood. Healthy diets give you energy and balance your cravings for junk food or unhealthy carbohydrates.

When Therapy and Counseling Are a Good Tool to Use

3) It's okay to talk it out. When seasonal depression keeps you feeling blue and you have lost your zeal for life, seeking therapy is a wonderful gift to give yourself. There are three different types of psychological therapies which can help beat back blues. They are

The therapist will then work on helping you find a way to change your negative thought patterns.

The thought patterns which occur in the season which prompts your depression. The therapist will give you ways to change your thoughts and behaviors into positive patterns.

  • Guided Self Help – Guided self help is learning how to help yourself with self-talk, meditation, and self-learning.

Find your inner core and spirit and align them with your practical and healthy exercises. These verbal, physical and mental exercises help you become more balanced in your mood.

  • Counseling for Depression – Counseling for depression is something many people need from time to time. 16 million adults in the United States have had at least one depression episode.

Many of those involve seasonal depressive episodes. Seeking therapy to talk about your depression helps you find where the depression is coming from. That way you can work on ways to prevent it or fight back against it.

Photographer: Kelly Sikkema | Source: Unsplash

More Tips and Tools To Beat Back Seasonal Depression

4) Don't fight seasonal depression by yourself. Enlist your family and friends to help beat back those blues. There is nothing worse than isolating yourself when you already feel depressed or blue.

Isolation allows us to dwell on the depression or the blue feelings. It is important to enlist family and friends to help keep active, do activities with people you care about.

This helps you escape from the one-person cage of solitude. Anything that brings you pleasure helps lighten your inner spirit.

5) Get a new hobby or re-energize an old hobby. Hobbies help give you purpose. It is important to use interest and motivation in finding old, new, and exciting purposes. There is sometimes nothing more exciting than finding a new purposeful hobby you can throw yourself into 100 percent.

Misconceptions about Seasonal Depression

Many people think that seasonal depression only happens in the wintertime. That is when many people are cooped up and stuck inside their homes. However, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a depression which is defined as a recurring major depression which happens with a seasonal pattern.

This depression can be brought on during any season for any reason. Many people will have their seasonal depression end when the season is over. Yet the depression comes back the next season around the same time.

The symptoms of seasonal depression are somewhat unique to SAD. They include, but are not limited to;

  • Tiredness and a general feeling they cannot get enough sleep
  • Irritable or cry easily
  • Become more and more isolated, rarely venturing away from their home
  • Weight gain or binge eating
Photographer: Hermes Rivera | Source: Unsplash

What Else Can Be Done to Help Seasonal Blues?

There are many other things which can be done to help fight back against seasonal depression or the blues.

There are studies which suggest going to bed early may help. Many of us are wired for our energy levels to rise and decrease during certain times of the day. Fighting the blues with your body clock is a great idea.

That is a holistic and healthy way for your body to roll with the season and go to bed when you are tired. Instead of forcing yourself to stay up and grow more depressed.

Treat yourself to a sauna or hot tub. There are studies which suggest the bodies temperature also may play into seasonal depression. Warming your body by a fire or in a sauna can help your body feel flush with heat while having a calming effect.

Aromatherapy can also help lift a mood or fight back against depressive darkness. There is a lot to be said for lighting a scented candle, sitting back, and enjoying the scent and ambiance around you.

The Seasonal Depression Battle Can Be Won

The seasonal depression battle can be won but you have to use tools to help you in the battle. If you take the time to develop these tools and tips you will reap the benefits. You may no longer experience anxiety or stress every time your depressive season rolls around.

Instead by using some of the tips and tools listed here you may find you have become stronger and are now able to win the seasonal depression battle. Enjoy the season which is breaking around you by controlling your activities and feelings. What fun you will have!

Building Your Self-Confidence

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Do you often find yourself doubting your ability to meet new people, make a good impression, or successfully accomplish tasks? Do you consider yourself to be not as well-off or confident as you once were, or would like to be? If so, you’re likely suffering from low self-esteem. You can work towards changing your mentality and building self-confidence to create a better life for yourself though.

What is Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem is “the degree to which one feels confident, valuable, and worthy of respect.” To put it plainly, self-esteem is a person’s own estimation about their value, ranging from notions of physical beauty to intellect, and even a gauging of how successful they’ve been in life as a whole.

A person’s level of self-esteem can drastically impact their behavior and mental state. People with high self-esteem tend to feel positive about themselves. They believe they’ve made successful choices and a good amount of progress toward their personal goals and life ambitions. On the other hand, people with low self-esteem are more likely to view themselves negatively. They feel shameful or doubtful about their personal progress and ability to make desired changes in their life.

Low self-esteem can also have debilitating effects on mental health. The American Psychiatric Association (APA) recognizes low self-esteem as a symptom of other mental health conditions which often leads to secondary issues such as anxiety and depression.

Who Suffers from Low Self-Esteem?

Low self-esteem is an incredibly common condition in people of all ages, cultures, occupations and economic groups. One does not necessarily have to be living in any particular condition of poor health or financial hardship to suffer from low self-esteem. Many people who would otherwise be considered successful and healthy have poor self-confidence.

Certain groups of people do seem to be more likely to suffer from low self-confidence. Studies show that high school-aged students are more prone to low self-esteem. Roughly 20 percent of teens experiencing depression before they reach adulthood. Approximately 44 percent of teen girls and 15 percent of teen boys are attempting to lose weight to feel better about themselves. More than 40 percent of boys engage in exercise in an attempt to build muscle to meet perceived notions of attractiveness.

The Royal Society for Public Health conducted a survey of people between the ages of 16 and 24 in the UK about their social media habits and self-described mental health. The study found that among social media platforms, Instagram was the most damaging to self-esteem. Of those surveyed, seven out of ten experienced cyber-bullying, with only thirty-seven percent having reported the harassment; 91 percent of those bullied said no action was taken by the social media network to reprimand bullies. Fortunately, the study also found that nearly seventy percent of young adults reported receiving support of some kind through social media during difficult or trying times.

The Consequences of Low Self-Esteem

Once someone develops a negative impression of themselves, the attitude tends to invade every aspect of their mentality. How this attitude manifests itself differs from person to person but seems to follow general patterns of behavior. Low-self esteem can be hard to manage but determining what pattern your low-self esteem follows can make it easier to overcome. Low self-esteem is defined by three major patterns:

Imposter Syndrome: Someone masks their insecurities by touting or exaggerating accomplishments, fearing that failures will reveal their flawed self.

Rebellion Model:  Someone identifies those who project an air of indifference towards others’ opinions as an attempt to convince themselves they also don’t care. These people tend to act out and defy authority.

Victimhood Model: Someone who convinces themselves, they are helpless in the face of challenges and use pity to avoid making changes.

The consequences of low self-esteem can also be dangerous as studies have found that substance abuse is commonly associated with low self-confidence, and worldwide more deaths are caused by low self-esteem and depression-related suicides each year than homicide or war.

Building Better Self-Confidence

The most recommended aid for building better self-confidence is to seek the help of a therapist. These professionals are experts at helping you uncover and work through the underlying causes of your negative self-image. This is done in an environment that is both comforting and private. It’s not difficult to find therapy options in your area; most cities have several local therapists who can build a regular meeting schedule with you.

There are articles, websites and self-help options to guide you to improve your self-esteem. If you are looking for lower cost or options to do from home, a quick internet search for ‘building self-confidence’ will show you things to do yourself to build confidence.

Putting it All Together

It’s important to keep in mind that you’re not alone, as there are millions of others facing the same difficulties.  There is a huge well of resources available to help you get the support you need.

You can overcome low self-esteem, and it often starts with making small changes day-to-day. The key is to realize your value and work toward appreciating the things that make you truly unique in life. If you need help, take advantage of the resources available to you. Start the process of working toward a more confident you today.

Practicing a More Mindful Self

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We’ve all heard quotes like “you must love yourself before you can love another,” and seen them on motivational posters and on our Facebook timelines. They’re practically everywhere. But have you ever wondered why they are so prevalent? Well, the answer is because they are true. Or, they have the potential to be true if you believe them. Being mindful can help to manifest positive thoughts. Thoughts turn into feelings, and our feelings affect almost everything in our lives.

Understanding How We Think about Ourselves

Srini Pillay, MD, defines self-acceptance as “an individual’s acceptance of all of his/her attributes, positive or negative.” He describes how people tend to build self-esteem from the way they believe others perceive them. People who believe others think negatively about them are likely to develop low self-esteem. Someone with a negative self-image is likely to not engage with others frequently or effectively and spend less effort on maintaining themselves.

Meanwhile, a person who believes others perceive them positively is likely to develop high self-esteem. People with a positive self-image are likely to be more confident and push themselves to accomplish more. It’s plain to see, then, how one’s mindset can determine how they go about their lives.

Being Mindfully Positive

Being mindfully positive means actively working towards creating a better mindset for yourself. It is possible to change your outlook on yourself and your mental attitude by actively trying. Think of it like an exercise, but instead of working out a muscle you’re training your brain. Just like physical exercise, mental training can be difficult, tiring and take time. But it is entirely possible given significant effort and persistent determination.

And, much like a good gym routine, mental exercise requires a repetitive set of activities designed to achieve strength over time. And again, just like a good gym routine, knowing which exercise to practice makes all the difference. So, what are some of the exercises you should be focusing on if your goal is to obtain greater mental strength and improve your state of mind? Let’s look at some examples.

5 Tips for Practicing Being Mindful

There are a plethora of mental exercises you can undertake to achieve a more mindful, and more positive, mental state. Any of them can be effective if you believe they have that potential and practice them regularly. Ultimately the choice of which techniques you choose to utilize is up to you, and what you feel is most effective in your case.

A quick Google search of “practicing self-confidence” will turn up a number of results; feel free to peruse and find what best fits you. But if you’re looking for some advice, some effective techniques are listed below.

Live Your True Story features an article on the matter with some particularly beneficial things you can do on a daily basis to strengthen your mental state. Among those are:

  1. Present Yourself with Confidence

    this exercise challenges you to make a daily effort to present yourself the way you want others to see you. Little things like taking care of your hygiene, getting a new haircut, or dressing for the occasion can make all the difference in how others, and thus how you, perceive yourself. Take time to do the little things that make you feel better about yourself.

  2. Smile and Look People in the Eye 

    This exercise is meant to build your confidence over time, essentially by faking it at first until you’re not faking it anymore. If you force yourself to confidently interact with others, you will, over time, get more comfortable with such social skills and before you know it you won’t be faking it any longer.

  3. Practice Appreciation

    This one is motivational poster cliché. Instead of focusing on everything you dislike about your life, challenge yourself to focus on the positive aspects. This may not be easy at first, but you’d be surprised how quickly this can make a difference in your day-to-day attitude. And before you know it, you’ll find yourself focusing more on the positives and devoting more time and effort to them.

  4. Consume a Healthy and Balanced Diet 

    Remember the old adage, “you are what you eat?” Well, there is some real wisdom behind that. It’s well-established that one’s diet drastically impacts both physical and mental health. Adopting a better diet will not only improve your physical health but can also increase your self-estimation as you recognize your willpower.

  5. Perform Physical Exercises 

    The advantages of physical exercise shouldn’t be overlooked on your path to strengthening your mental state. Many people who have a negative perception of themselves do so because they feel they don’t meet standards of physical beauty. Physical exercise can help such people to achieve the body image they desire. But more importantly, physical exertion releases the chemical dopamine in our brains, the original ‘feel good’ drug. Partaking in physical exercise each day can, quite literally, make you feel happier, and will further your overall goals of being a ‘stronger’ person.

Do What Works Best for You

Some common methods for improving your mental state through mindfulness have been presented in this article. But it is important to understand that the same methods don’t always work for everyone. The best way to figure out what you can do to improve yourself is to first understand yourself, and decide which type of exercises will work best for you.

Whichever methods you choose to pursue, make sure to pursue them actively and with full confidence. These techniques have the potential to change the way you perceive yourself; if you believe in them and practice them regularly. Ultimately, changing the way you perceive yourself is up to you.

Put a Pep in Your Step – A Body in Motion Stays in Motion

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Newton’s Law of Motion states, “…a body at rest will remain at rest unless an outside force acts on it, and a body in motion at a constant velocity will remain in motion in a straight line unless acted upon by an outside force.”

Why You Should Get Up

You are sitting at home thinking about getting up and doing something. Maybe a walk. Oh man, but that takes work. That might be a little tough. You start to click through channels on TV and find something slightly entertaining. Maybe you are scrolling through your social media. What is Becky up to? Oh, she’s out hiking again. You wish you had time for that, right? You decide you will make time.  But, you never get up. Another article, story or funny cat video catches your interest.

I mean, getting up and moving is the hard part. Exercise for the body or mind is not always fun. It takes effort. You live a busy life and are exhausted. I get it. Exercising is not glamorous. There are so many things you can be doing instead of getting up and moving.

On the other hand, you want to live a happier and healthier life, right? Good thing getting up and moving will increase your quality of life. Taking a walk is known to help with the following; blood pressure, weight management, mental health, creativity, fatigue and even strengthen muscles and bones. Just walking can make you live longer.

According to the Mayo Clinic Fitness, Department of Health and Human Services take at least 150 minutes of moderate aerobic activity or 75 minutes of vigorous aerobic activity. The guidelines suggest that you spread out this exercise over a week.

That is only 22 minutes a day 7 days a week. Maybe you want to work less but with the same results. That is 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week. This is a little bit of change for major results.

How to Get in Motion

It’s easy to sit around and do nothing. Just do nothing. What is hard is to actually get up. Some recommend ‘baby steps’ to get started. Baby steps help you to start off slow and, with time, increase the length or intensity.

One way to start walking regularly at longer intervals is to start slow. Start with a steady walk around the block every day. Do this for a week or two. Then, switch it up and add an extra block to your current routine. Make sure to keep this going. By adding extra blocks you will help increase your ability to get moving even more.

If you start to feel bored or uninterested with your walks, change it up. You will see things from the reverse perspective you had seen in your previous walks.

This method is true with any workouts. You could apply this to weight lifting. Start with lighter weights. Keep with the same weight until they feel too light. Once this happens, you can increase the weight by small increments until it is easier to lift. Over time you will be able to lift heavier and heavier. Find what makes you happy so you enjoy your exercise.

Ideas for Sedentary Jobs

Maybe you work at a job where you sit all day. Sitting at a desk all day is very bad for your health and circulation. You must make sure you make to for yourself and your health. Some may find it hard to get even a little exercise at their jobs.

Breaks are a good time to get a little exercise in. What some people have been known to do is during your breaks, you can go for a walk for 5-15 minutes. If this is the most you can do, it is still a great start.

If you are looking for something to do from your desk, there are many different ideas available online; chair dips, desk lunges, squats, standing, stretching, desk dancing, walking in place and more.

Forming Good Habits

According to James Clear, a Behavioral Psychologist, it takes about 66 days to form a habit. A good technique in building a habit to keep moving is to create goals. Just like anything else, baby steps. Start with a small goal. Maybe you want to finish your walk in less than 30 minutes but not cut it short. Try picking up the pace and beating your previous time.

Understand that you are not perfect. Nor is anyone else. Everyone has their own struggles. The trick is to not let your troubles weigh you down and force you to quit. Keep that pep in your step. Keep your body in motion.

Getting off Course

Remember what newton said? “A body in motion at a constant velocity will remain in motion in a straight line unless acted upon by an outside force.” You can be that force. You can affect the motion in a positive way by causing it to accelerate and work harder. Making positive changes to increase the motion you are making. Then again, you can also be the wall that completely stops your movement.

Sometimes we find ourselves straying off course. We find that we have something taking away our time from our self-care. So, we put it off until tomorrow. Well, this might lead to putting it off the next day. Next thing you know, it has been a week or a month and you have completely broken your habit.

We all lose track sometimes. This happens a lot. We start doubting ourselves. We begin giving into temptations. All of a sudden, we are back at point A. Do not beat yourself up. Keep a positive attitude and hop right back in. Remember, you are not the only person struggling. But, you can only control yourself and your own mindset.

You have the ability to affect your movement in a positive or negative way. Don’t be the brick wall standing in your own way. Be the force to keeps the body moving in a straight line, or better yet, an upward path!

If it has been a while since you ‘fell off’, start at a comfortable pace. You do not want to start at the walk around the block, but you also do not want to become overwhelmed. Find a comfortable new starting point. This can seem difficult but it will help your body get back in motion.

Try to pinpoint what knocked you off track. Work on fixing the problem. Try and set new realistic goals with realistic timelines. Small goals equal success. It is okay to have an ending goal or big goals. But, it is important to also have small goals to help add to your positive mindset. Keep that pep in your step!

 

The Thin Line Between Self-care and Overindulgence

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Ever thought to yourself, “I’ve worked hard today, I deserve that piece of a cake?” Maybe you thought that the cake was a reward for a good day at work and would boost your mood. Whatever the case, if the slice of cake you ate would have sufficed to feed 4 people you may be overindulging and not really practicing self-care.

Most of us don’t do enough self-care, and when we do, we tend to go overboard. Finding balance in life can be difficult, especially in this material society where most of us work full time. Stress, sedentary lifestyle, and unhealthy habits all contribute to a growing need for self-care.

However, self-care may be as foreign as most other languages and all that is known is that there is an entire section dedicated to it at the bookstore. Despite this, many continue to struggle with self-care and finding that delicate balance between over-doing it and healing oneself.

What is Self-Care?

There are different types of self-care. Medical self-care pertains to your health and often requires health insurance. There are some great online resources for medical self-care information. Staying active, getting regular check-ups with your doctor and avoiding things like nicotine are all a part of medical self-care. Though never fun, preventative tests, procedures, and regular check-ups are all necessary if you are going to live a long, happy, healthy life.

Mental health self-care is another animal altogether, though there may be some cross-over with the medical realm. Coping with stress is a difficult and life-long endeavor, which even the experts at the CDC may have trouble with from time to time. Areas of trouble in mental health may call for medication such as antidepressants.

More often, however, mental health self-care means taking a day off from work once a month to recover and take care of what you need. Day in and day out, things are demanded of us and unless we take the time for ourselves, we run the risk of breaking.

One day out of the month take time to catch up on errands and get a massage, pedicure, or whatever you need. You are taking care of you.

Allowing yourself time to recover from stress and giving yourself a break every now and then is what self-care is all about.

 

Self-Care Obstacles and Needs

The job, the significant other, the friends who just won’t take no for an answer – these are all common reasons why we don’t take the time to take care of ourselves. Maybe you are prone to watching too much TV and staying sedentary. Whatever the case, these kinds of obstacles block you from living your best life and can absolutely be remedied.

Many people work all week and scramble to catch up on errands and with friends on the weekend. By Monday morning they often feel just as tired as they were on Friday with the whole week ahead of them. This may feel like a situation with no way out, however, you can find ways to balance your life.

Get enough sleep and schedule time with friends on your lunch breaks so that you get that quality time with loved ones. Sleep and connecting with those who matter to us is critical for living a fulfilling existence. We are more than just workers slaving away for a paycheck.

Take a good look at what you eat – are you eating a balanced, nutritious diet full of veggies and unprocessed foods? If your idea of meals centers around a fast-food drive through the answer is no. Our bodies are amazing machines that require the right kind of fuel to function properly. If you need more information on eating better, go to nutrition.gov for more on eating right.

 

Overindulgence vs. Self-Care

Is eating a piece of cake overindulging? It depends. Are you in a healthy weight range and decently active? If yes, then go for it. However, if every day after work you decide to eat a large piece of cake for a job well done, you are on the side of overindulgence. The same situation is true if you decide to go shopping instead of eating cake to reward yourself.

Too much of any good thing becomes something else that does not positively affect our health or lives. Phrases like work hard, play hard are so ingrained in our minds that we may not really be aware of what we need. Far too many of us also feel ashamed or guilty if we say “no” to our employers or friends when something is asked of us. As a consequence, we often put self-care at the bottom of the list or remove it altogether.

In an attempt to compensate for lack of self-care we then overindulge. For instance, some of us chose to work ourselves to the bone and then eat an unhealthy meal, this cycle only further taxes our already fatigued body.

Overspending is another common attempt at compensating. Instead of reading a good book after a nice bath, we overstimulate ourselves and create financial stress by turning our anxiety towards the shopping mall and stressing our limited resources.

Eating and shopping are certainly not the only areas commonly over or underutilized. Exercise is another big one, as are prescription pills, drinking, and watching Netflix.

Healthy Middle

The healthy middle looks differently for everyone. Everyone has that friend whose energy seems limitless no matter how much they take on. Don’t try to be someone you are not. Assess your own strengths and weaknesses and find where you need to focus your self-care time and energy.

Maybe you need a spa day with a friend or just and nice relaxing bath. If you have not exercised in living memory, maybe you could go on a hike with a friend or join a local exercise studio. Finding friends and support when exercising has been proven to improve the all-around experience.

Whatever you need in life, take it. Don’t apologize and don’t stress or feel guilty for taking care of you. You are important and deserve to live a healthy, fulfilling life. Get started living your best life today.

 

journaling prompts

Write Away: The Top Journaling Prompts to Build Your Self Esteem

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If you ask someone from another country to describe the average American, they’ll often use words like “confident” and even “arrogant” to do it. Many Americans carry themselves in a way that would indicate they have high self-esteem.

But studies have shown that up to 85 percent of people in the U.S. have low self-esteem. And low self-esteem can hurt them at work, make it hard for them to sustain healthy relationships, and more.

Do you suffer from this national issue? One way to build your self-esteem is by utilizing journaling prompts. They’ll encourage you to take a look at all the amazing things you have going on.

Here are the top journaling prompts that will help build your self-esteem.

1. What Makes You Special?

Everyone has something that makes them unique.

There are some people who are amazing artists. There are others who are great at sports. Surely, there is something that makes you special.

In fact, you probably have a long list of talents that set you apart from everyone else. List them and think about how you’re using those talents in your daily life.

2. What’s the Best Compliment You’ve Ever Received?

If you have low self-esteem, you probably cringe when someone gives you a compliment. Studies have revealed that those with low self-esteem often have a hard time accepting compliments.

But those compliments are what makes you special! They illustrate the way others see you.

Write down what you consider to be the best compliment you’ve ever received. It might be something like:

  • “You’re such an incredible basketball player!”
  • “You do math quicker than anyone I’ve ever met!”
  • “You’re so good with kids!”

Any time you’re feeling down, glance back at the compliment to raise your spirits.

3. What Do You Consider Your Proudest Moment?

What would you say has been the proudest moment of your life thus far? Was it when you:

  • Pulled your science grade up from a D to an A by cramming for your final until you knew biology like the back of your hand?
  • Spent a summer mowing your elderly neighbor’s lawn without being asked?
  • Donated your birthday money to charity?

You have, no doubt, done things in your life that made you proud. Pick your proudest moment and reflect back on how you felt during it.

4. What’s Your Favorite Thing in the World to Do?

As people get older, they lose sight of the things that are important to them. They get so caught up in going to work and raising kids and taking care of their houses that they forget to take time to do the things that make them happy.

What is your absolute favorite thing to do in the world? Write it down at the top of the page and explain what’s so great about it. It’ll remind you to do that thing more often.

5. What’s the Last Thing You Did to Help Someone?

In theory, helping someone else seems like it would help, well, them, not you. But many experts will tell you that helping other people will make you feel better about yourself.

When is the last time you lent a hand to someone? Consider how it made you feel and what you can do to recapture that feeling.

6. What Do You See in the Mirror?

Studies have shown that men look at themselves in the mirror more than 20 times every day, while women look at themselves in the mirror just under 20 times. But more often than not, both men and women are looking at their hair or their smile in the mirror and not taking time to think about what they really see.

Go check yourself out in the mirror and analyze yourself from top to bottom. Point out the things you like and don’t like and explain why in your journal. It’ll shed light on how you see yourself.

7. What Goals Do You Have?

Setting and achieving goals is one simple way to achieve higher self-esteem. So, what are your goals?

Do you want to:

List goals for yourself and detail how you plan on achieving them.

8. What Makes You Feel Confident?

Confidence and self-esteem are interconnected. When you feel confident while you’re doing something, it’ll increase your self-esteem.

Come up with some things that make you feel confident when you do them. They might be some of the same things you thought about when you were considering what your favorite things to do in the world are.

Take notes on how you feel when you’re taking part in those activities. It should serve as a good reminder to do those activities more often.

9. What Is Your Greatest Accomplishment?

You’ve accomplished great things in your life. It doesn’t matter if you’re 10, 50, or 100. You should be able to rattle off a long list of accomplishments from over the years.

But which one would you say is the greatest of all? It might be when you:

  • Graduated from college
  • Bought your first house
  • Gave birth to your child

List your great accomplishments and then narrow them down to your greatest. It’ll be a fun exercise that will showcase how much you’ve done.

10. What Does Happiness Mean to You?

Only about one-third of Americans consider themselves happy.

If you don’t think you’re as happy as you should be, think about what happiness means to you. You’ll find that it doesn’t have anything to do with money or success in a material sense.

By pinpointing what makes you happy, you can work towards the happiness you want to achieve.

Start Using These Journaling Prompts Today

The point of each and every one of these journaling prompts is to get you thinking about the things that differentiate you from the next person. Once you see what makes you special, you’ll feel a newfound self-confidence and be able to improve your self-esteem.

Check out our blog to read some self-esteem quotes that will make you smile.

Causes of Low Self-Esteem

Why Do I Feel So Low? Understanding the Top Causes of Low Self Esteem

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Very few things in this life can be as disparaging as living with low self-esteem.

Low self-esteem can cause a plethora of problems in our lives. It creates self-doubt in every aspect of lives.  It can create issues at work, at home, and in relationships.

Low self-esteem can be emotionally and even physically crippling.

If we don’t know why we have low self-esteem, we can’t begin to correct it.

Read on to uncover and understand some major causes of low self-esteem.

Disapproving or Uninvolved Parents, Guardians, and Authority Figures

There’s a high percentage of people who, even as adults, have a problem with one or both of their parents.

As children, our parents are the most prominent figures in our lives. It’s no surprise then, that bad parenting can be one of the leading causes of low self-esteem.

Take, for example, a parent who has impossibly high expectations for their children. Trying to bear up under a disapproving parent whom you can never please can create unshakeable low self-worth.

Indifferent parents can have the same effect, however. When we feel as though no matter what we do, we can never gain their attention or get them to care about us. It can make us feel incredibly small.

This feeling can evolve into low self-esteem, carrying on into adulthood.

Similarly, an authority figure who doesn’t appreciate or notice us can produce similar feelings of low self-worth at any age.

Be it a boss, instructor, coach or teacher, these people have considerable influence over our self-image.

In fact, disapproval and indifference of authority figures are some of the leading causes of low self-esteem in adults.

Society

Societal expectations are always changing. One thing that doesn’t change about society’s expectations, however, is the impossibility to fulfill them.

Trying to fit into the uniquely shaped boxes society says we belong in is a never-ending battle in futility. These demands are largely due to the media such as movies, magazines, music, and TV.

With the explosive rise of social media in the last few years, things have gotten exponentially worse.

We’re told how we should look, how we should behave, and who we should be. We’re trained to believe that by not being any of those things, we have somehow failed at life.

Every decade, a woman’s “ideal” appearance changes. There are very few decades in which any woman could possibly achieve those standards.

Although women can acknowledge how ludicrous these expectations are, they still feel demoralized if they don’t fit the mold, leading to one of the most prevalent causes of low self-esteem among their gender.

Society’s demands on men can also be stringent. They must be either incredibly successful or look like the most recent action hero, or both.

While health and fitness are important, these expectations set by the media lead to unhealthy obsessions and attitudes towards food and exercise.

Trauma

There are many traumatic events in life that can transform our self-concept into something negative.

For example, being bullied, as a child or an adult, can lead to the belief that we’re inferior and pathetic to those around us.

It’s understandable, though. How can we have high self-esteem when someone’s in our face telling us otherwise?

Abusive relationships also cause of low self-esteem.

As a child or an adult, being sexually abused can lead to life-long issues of low self-worth and insecurities. While men are not immune to sexual abuse, women are more likely to be victimized by sexual assault.

In fact, one in five women has been sexually assaulted, while only one in 71 men has been.

Repeated sexual abuse as a child can lead to severe mental health issues, low self-esteem included.

Non-physical abusive can cause low self-esteem, too. A partner who calls us names, tears us down, or makes us feel undesired doesn’t exactly bolster our self-confidence.

However, when we love someone, we stay with them, even if they are crushing our spirit. It’s unfortunate, but we tend to stay in abusive relationships long after the damage has been done.

Long-term verbal and emotional abuse can lead to permanent discrepancies in our self-image.

Belief Systems

Sometimes, our belief systems can hold just as much weight over us as a disapproving parent. Regardless of what religion we identify with, there are standards and expectations of how we should live our lives.

This isn’t always a bad thing. “Thou shalt not kill,” for example, is a pretty good rule to live by. However, there are some organizations, even if it is just individual churches, that take it to the extreme.

These establishments tend to focus on the dos and don’ts of religion rather than love and forgiveness, leading to the belief that we aren’t good enough, that we’re just wicked sinners.

If people buckled under the disapproving eyes of their parents, what do you think they will do under the disapproving eyes of their God, real or implied by those around them?

Guilt

Guilt is one of the biggest self-induced causes of low self-esteem.

Whether we wronged someone, failed at something, or made a poor life decision, our own guilt can eat us alive.

We obsess over what we could have done differently and torture ourselves with guilt. By reliving our mistakes in our minds, we begin to diminish our self-worth. We begin to see ourselves as those failures.

If we have done wrong, we must ask for forgiveness and move on, whether or not our apology is accepted. Most importantly, we must learn to forgive ourselves.

Unrealistic Expectations of Ourselves

Unrealistic expectations of ourselves go hand-in-hand with guilt.

We set impractical goals and when we inevitably fall short of them, we punish ourselves. Setting goals that are unachievable creates an environment in which failure is not only an option but a certainty.

Making matters worse, we are our own worst critics.

We can’t see past things in our bodies, art, performance, and life that we find flawed, even though no one else notices them.

If we constantly tell ourselves we aren’t good enough, that is what we will believe.

Moving Past the Causes of Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem issues lie deep beneath the surface and are engrained in our personalities. To complicate things, most of us suffer from multiple causes of low self-esteem.

We must be careful, for if we stay in a place (low self-esteem) long enough, we become that place.

So how do we move past it?

Fortunately, there are hobbies we can pick up, people we can talk to, and confidence building exercises we can do to boost self-esteem.

Mostly, we need to understand three things. We aren’t alone, it’s not our fault, and it doesn’t have to be this way.

low self-esteem in relationships

The Terrible Truth About Low Self-Esteem in Relationships

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The majority of women, adolescents and a rising number of men suffer from low self esteem. It’s something anyone can struggle with, but it’s having a damaging effect on women in every aspect of life.

Women in the workforce lack confidence, downplay or even apologize for their accomplishments and underestimate themselves constantly. Women are less likely to put in for a promotion and will even second guess their answers.

Low self-esteem in relationships whether personal or professional can limit your potential and leave you feeling unsatisfied and searching for more.

Keep reading to learn more about the effects of low self-esteem in relationships. We’ll discuss ways to deepen your relationships as you build a loving relationship with yourself.

Self-Esteem – What’s That?

Many people confuse self-esteem with being full of yourself. They are two totally different things. There is such a thing as being too confident though many people who come off that way are actually overcompensating for low self-esteem or self-doubt.

Self Esteem is not about thinking you’re better than everyone but it’s also not to worry that you’re worse. You have no problem confidently sharing your talents and there’s no need to convince others that you’re good because you know that you are- your value doesn’t come from their opinions.

It is to value yourself and the gifts and talents you have to offer. It is to accept your weaknesses and being willing to work on them because your worth does not come from your best or worst moment.

Self Esteem, Self Worth and Self Confidence

Self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence are all different things. 

Self-esteem is how you truly feel about yourself. It is whether you care enough about yourself to put action and effort into reaching your dreams. It is knowing your dreams and feelings have worth. Low self-esteem means the person does not understand their worth 

Self-worth doesn’t change. You may not be aware of your worth as a human being, as a beautiful soul with talents to share and gifts to give the people and world around you.

Whether you are aware of those gifts and talents or not, they are there and your worth is always the same. No one person has more worth than another.

Self-confidence is whether you believe in yourself or not. It can change from one minute to the next and can often depend on the opinions of others or situation one is in.

Low Self Esteem in Relationships at Home

Low self-esteem not only interferes with your ability to enjoy each moment of the day but it interferes with your ability to trust in and enjoy any relationship to its fullest.

Second Guess Yourself

Low self-esteem can cause you to second guess your thoughts, needs, and wants. You may end up having difficulty making a decision or expressing yourself.

Often it can lead to putting the needs of others before your own and may even cause feelings of resentment towards your partner because your needs are going unmet.

Reading More Into Their Words 

Those who suffer from low self-esteem have difficulty accepting a compliment but will give great significance to insults. There can be a great deal of miscommunication because more is read into the words of a partner.

Difficulty with Intimacy

Low self-esteem can make it hard to be intimate and can interfere with the ability for partners to be uninhibited in their feelings and physical relationship.

A Hard Time Trusting or Making Commitments

When you don’t understand your own worth and know that you are lovable it can be hard to believe someone is genuine when they make a commitment to you.

Less Able to Find Joy in the Moment

Feelings of low self-esteem make it much harder to live in the moment and feel the joy if you’re worrying about whether you measure up. There is often guilt, fear, and depression associated with low self-esteem.

Greater Complications in Life

Those with low self-esteem are more likely to have issues with addiction, prostitution, and theft.

Many struggling with addiction feel they need a few drinks or some other substance to “loosen up” and relax. Promiscuity and prostitution are more likely as the individual searches for fulfillment through physical contact or they believe that is where their worth comes from.

Improving Your Self Esteem

Just because you struggle with low self-esteem now doesn’t mean it has to stay that way. You’re awesome! You just need to put some effort into realizing it.

There are some steps you can take to increase your self-confidence and improve your relationships at the same time.

Take Up a Hobby or Sport

There are several confidence-building hobbies that can help you feel better physically and allow you to mentally connect with a loved one.

Take up meditation, yoga, or learn a musical instrument. These activities can help you relax, focus, and give you a sense of accomplishment.

Any team sport and exercise, in general, is good for building social skills and boosting confidence while having a bit of fun. Joining a league with your partner can give you time together and get some healthy exercise in the process.

Set S.M.A.R.T. Goals

Whether it’s personal goals or relationship goals, you want to make sure you set yourself up for success. The best way to do this is to set S.M.A.R.T. goals.

Specific 

When you set specific goals you know what you’re striving for. If they’re too general you have no motivation to get started or continue to reach some vague destination

Measurable

It’s easier to keep motivated if you can measure your progress and success. This will also help your self-esteem as you see how far you’ve come.

Achievable

You aren’t doing yourself any good by setting goals you can’t achieve. This works on two levels. You need to know there’s a finish line to reach and that finish line isn’t too far away to ever make it to.

Relevant

Is the goal you’re working on today getting you closer to your dreams? 

Time Sensitive

The great procrastinators of the world know if you don’t have a time limit it will never get started let alone accomplished. Setting a time limit gives you a reason to start working on your goal and continue moving forward.

It’s Okay to Have Needs

It’s perfectly okay to have needs and to express them. You can’t always get what you want but you deserve to have your needs met. You can’t expect your partner to be able to meet your needs if they don’t know what they are.

Often it’s hard for people with low self-esteem in relationships to express what they need but the more you do it the easier it will become.

Check out our blog for more suggestions including great tips on what to do if you love someone with low self-esteem.