Self esteem, as human beings have gone to the moon, split the atom, unraveled the genetic code, probed the birth of the universe and achieved technological triumphs with impressive, blinding brilliance. Yet I wonder if achieving inner triumphs within ourselves is just as important. Isn’t it strange that we can spit the atom and go to the moon, but we cant feed the physical emotional, self esteem, and spiritual starvation of others and our selves? But isn’t the pursuit of knowledge the key to advancing our evolution? We see this today with the technology of the internet and how it can supply almost any bit of information we want. However, don’t we have generations of people stressed, depressed with low self esteem on Prozac, lonely, confused leading meaningless lives, and addicted to everything from food and television to drugs and alcohol? The fastest growing addiction today is the computer and the internet. Perhaps the focus should not be so centered outside of our selves but rather within.

Is it so painful to spend some time each day silently going inside our inner mind and conducting an “inner ritual” to access knowledge, insight, and direction like you would the internet? Self esteem. One might say, “but, I don’t have the time!” the average person fills most gaps of silent space with a barrage of stimulation. For example, he/she may get into the car and listen to the radio on the way to work. On their lunch hour, he/she may read a paper. Self esteem. When arriving at home this same person turns on the television for up t four hours. When it is time for bed, the stimulated mind is still online, making it difficult to go to sleep. This may go on for the next 40 years. Yet we say we are looking for more purpose, meaning, excitement and balance in our lives even though we stuff our selves with a multimedia smorgasbord on a daily basis. Self esteem.

The Meaning of Self Esteem

Self esteem is a way of thinking, feeling and acting that implies that you accept, respect, trust and believe in yourself. When you accept yourself, you can live comfortably with both your personal strengths and weaknesses without undue self criticism. When you respect yourself, you acknowledge your own dignity and value as a unique human being. You treat yourself well in much the same way you would treat someone you respect. Self trust means that your behaviors and feelings are consistent enough to give you an inner sense of continuity and coherence despite changes and challenges in your external circumstances. To believe in yourself means that you feel you deserve to have the good things in life. It also means that you have confidence that you can fulfill your deepest personal needs, aspirations, and goals. To get a sense about your own level of self esteem, think of someone (or imagine what it would be like to know someone) whom you fully accept, respect, trust, and believe in. now ask yourself to what extent you hold these attitudes toward yourself.

Important Tools Should Have in Your Workshop

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I frequently have people get some information about various tools I like, suggest, or feel essential tools to have in my Metal Workshop for all my upcycling projects. This happens much more so around the Holidays when you all are hoping to add to your Christmas lists. Well, I, at last, chose to make one spot for the entirety of the above for simple reference!

Our toolbox develops with time as new undertakings emerge inside the home. As property holder’s the list of projects never closes. Indeed, for me, it’s an endless list. What’s more, the correct tool available can make all the universe of a distinction. Here are ten necessary tools we figure everybody ought to put resources into for their home and workshop.

Many shop tasks can be worked with only a significant workshop Saw, a drill press, and a decent router with accessories, alongside a combination of hand tools. Need hand tools for carpentry incorporate a proper arrangement of etches and a vertical plane. Consider the workshop tools recorded beneath as speculations. Assess your objectives, and pick the workshop tools that best suit your requirements. There is no reason to get them simultaneously, yet as your abilities improve and your tasks develop more intricate, including the tools that will give you the correct outcomes: straight cuts, square corners, and solid joints. 

1. Fixed Base/Plunge Router Combo

I love the adaptability of having both a fixed base and a plunge router. It can make accurate edges and the ability to smooth out any wood. I utilize my router to adjust table tops, change little box tops, make box joints, and dovetails (the most delightful joint in carpentry, as I would like to think).

2. Miter Saw

This is one of the two kinds of saws I use consistently. In reality, I just got Ryobi Sliding Miter Saw with Laser for Christmas, and I love it! It enables me to slice ideal pieces up to 12″ inside and out. It additionally has a laser light that we should realize my wood is lined up right, where I need it to be.

Before that, I had an ancient Delta that I could not find anyplace on eBay, yet it didn’t slide, so it just slice up to 6″. It was as yet ideal for effectively slicing my beloved fence pickets to the lengths I need, for slashing the legs off of headboards when required, and fundamentally cutting whatever is under 6″ in clean cuts. This saw cuts straight and angled cuts.

3. Air Compressor

In this period of air-fueled nailers, drills, sanders, sway torques, grinders, spray guns, saws, and pneumatic tools, the compressor has become a virtual need. The compressor comprises of a mechanized siphon; a tank for putting away the compacted air; an on/off control (lead representative) that advises the siphon when to begin and stop to keep the weight inside preset cutoff points; and a controller to control the value at which the air gets away from the tank to suit the requirements of the tools being utilized. There’s a metal edge on which all the parts are mounted, ordinarily with a conveying handle, and at times wheels.

4. Rolling Work Bench

The workbench is utilized in each task in the shop, yet infrequently gets the affection it merits. This is one workbench in my shop that I manufactured, and I love this one due to the mechanical casters and scrap wood storage. With casters, I can, without much of a stretch, move my workbench anyplace all through the garage workshop effortlessly. Additionally, since it’s specially fabricated, I had the option to make it 44″ inches tall rather than the standard 33-36″ inches, which indeed spares a ton of stress on my back.  

5. Power Drill

A decent power drill is perhaps the best investment most DIYers can perform. It can drive screws and drill holes and fasteners a lot quicker than possible with hand tools. If you figure you will rarely require the device, you might need to purchase a respectably valued corded drill. However, almost everybody will love possessing a cordless drill. Not too bad 12-or 14.4-volt cordless drills can be purchased for $50 to $90. Search for a 3/8-inch model that either energizes rapidly or accompanies two batteries.

6. Lathe

A lathe machine is a vital tool for delivering seat legs, bowls, and balusters regarding woodturning. Workpieces are suspended over a metal bed, spun at rapid, and molded utilizing exceptional etches and gouges.

7. Clamps

You can’t have an excessive number of clamps. As an end of the week warrior craftsman, I don’t commonly have somebody around to assist me with holding things set up while I’m working. That is the place braces come in. I have an assortment of 1-2′ clamps and a few longer 3-4′ clamps that I could not live without. When I locate a decent arrangement, I usually stock up as evident by the eight braces that are as yet unopened. If you remove one thing from this article, it ought to be that you can’t have enough clamps, and it’s justified, despite all the trouble to put resources into conventional clamps. 

8. Stud Finder

Battery-worked Zircon stud finder models have demonstrated to be sensibly dependable with drywall walls and roofs. You can frequently discover achievement utilizing the metal-detecting setting on the stud finder on thicker mortar walls, which can recognize the nails used to tie down wood slat to studs.

9. Hammer

A bent paw hammer can drive and eliminate a 20-ounce adaptation with a smooth face and straight (rather than twisted) hook. Some will incline toward a lighter mallet; however, we don’t prescribe to go under 16 ounces. Steel and fiberglass handles are ideal.

10. Safety Glasses

Try not to do and consider working power tools or high-sway hand tools (for example, a hammer) without wearing eye protection. If you ordinarily wear glasses, you can purchase security glasses that fit over them.

Why do we have Low Self Esteem? How Can it be fixed?

Why do we have Low Self Esteem? How Can it be fixed?

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Why is it that loving ourselves can be so hard? Of course we have people around us who love us, like our friends and family. But, if we don't have self esteem, who can we really count on to do that for us? Not loving yourself can stem from low self esteem. In fact, it can sometimes be the root cause as to why we don't love ourselves. This poses the questions: why do we have low self esteem and where does it come from?

Parents and Loved Ones

Low self esteem can come from a disapproving parent or loved one. Even though it is ideal for these people to be our biggest supporters and confidants, this isn't always the case. This should be the source of our love and validation; when this key component in ones life is missing, it is reasonable for it to cause low self esteem. We grow up with our parents being the most important and influential people on our entire lives. Not seeing their child as good enough or giving them the love and attention, self esteem issues arise.

A common example of this is if a parent has very high expectations, or a certain path they want their child to follow, they often put this pressure on them to live up to it. If the child doesn't, parents will often shame them or make them feel bad. This in turn makes the child feel like they are not good enough. Although parents can be the main source of this, it can also come from an authority figure such as a boss, teacher, or coach.

Society

Unfortunately, society plays a huge part on self esteem, especially in the culture we all live in today that is so hyper focused on appearance. The intense access to information is also a downfall when it comes to comparing ourselves to others. "Why don't I look like that girl on the magazine?" Or "How come I don't have the lifestyle that this person on Instagram does". These all can lead to comparing ourselves and our lives to others which generates low self esteem if we somehow feel inferior. The world has, knowing or unknowingly, shaped us to idealize these aspects of our culture and discern ourselves as inadequate if we don't live up to certain standards.

Trauma Effect Self Esteem

Something else that causes low self esteem, according to Self Esteem Solutions, is a life trauma. These things are usually out of our control and can only be coped with on the back end. Traumas could include things like a loved one dying or being bullied at a young age. Being in an abusive relationship can also slowly spark feelings of low self esteem which can grow deeper and worse if the relationship continues. Sexual assault is also a huge reason for low self esteem, especially in women. In fact, 1 in 5 women has been sexually assaulted, and only 1 in 71 men have been.

Individual Expectations

Some low self esteem issues we also have to attribute as a fault of our own. We set expectations for ourselves and then beat ourselves up if we can't live up to them. It is very important to strive for excellence and want what is best in life, however, these expectations we put on ourselves cannot be unrealistic, or we will never get to a place where we feel good about ourselves. It can be hard to find the balance in pursuing the best and pushing ourselves while also staying realistic to our situations. However, it is important to be aware of this as to not set ourselves up for failure.

What's the Fix?

Now the question is posed: How can we improve low self esteem? At this point we have probably found a few reasons as to why you may have it, and most people have these feelings to a certain extent. Many people have low self esteem from multiple reasons above as well. Moving past it and working towards a better mindset is the way forward. This is where we have to change our thinking.

According to Psychology Today, there are steps you can take to walk down this better road of loving yourself! First, you have to be mindful of your thoughts and not let negative self talk tear you down constantly. Just like mentioned at the very beginning of this article, we have to love ourselves first and we cant count on anyone else to do that for us. Second, you have to change your story. If you are always feeling sorry for yourself and expressing that to the outside world, then you, as well as everyone around you, will see you in this light.

Third, comparison has to stop. It is one of the hardest things to not compare ourselves to others, but it is the single biggest reason for low self confidence. You were born as you and can only be you. You should only want to be you because there is not a single person on this earth who can fill your shoes. Stop comparing yourself to others and appreciate all you have to bring to the world.

I know you've heard it before, but exercise. For many reasons this can boost self esteem, and not only will you look healthier, but you will feel better. Last, and maybe most important, be kind. Being kind to others and having a soft heart for what others are going through will allow you to have that kind of care for yourself since you are practicing it outwardly.

The Takeaway

Learning to love yourself is a work in progress and is naturally easier for some people. That's okay. Take it day by day and understand that it doesn't have to happen in a day or a week. Remember that you are you for a reason, and if no one can see that then the world is missing out on something that was put in place with a purpose.

Building Your Self-Confidence

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Do you often find yourself doubting your ability to meet new people, make a good impression, or successfully accomplish tasks? Do you consider yourself to be not as well-off or confident as you once were, or would like to be? If so, you’re likely suffering from low self-esteem. You can work towards changing your mentality and building self-confidence to create a better life for yourself though.

What is Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem is “the degree to which one feels confident, valuable, and worthy of respect.” To put it plainly, self-esteem is a person’s own estimation about their value, ranging from notions of physical beauty to intellect, and even a gauging of how successful they’ve been in life as a whole.

A person’s level of self-esteem can drastically impact their behavior and mental state. People with high self-esteem tend to feel positive about themselves. They believe they’ve made successful choices and a good amount of progress toward their personal goals and life ambitions. On the other hand, people with low self-esteem are more likely to view themselves negatively. They feel shameful or doubtful about their personal progress and ability to make desired changes in their life.

Low self-esteem can also have debilitating effects on mental health. The American Psychiatric Association (APA) recognizes low self-esteem as a symptom of other mental health conditions which often leads to secondary issues such as anxiety and depression.

Who Suffers from Low Self-Esteem?

Low self-esteem is an incredibly common condition in people of all ages, cultures, occupations and economic groups. One does not necessarily have to be living in any particular condition of poor health or financial hardship to suffer from low self-esteem. Many people who would otherwise be considered successful and healthy have poor self-confidence.

Certain groups of people do seem to be more likely to suffer from low self-confidence. Studies show that high school-aged students are more prone to low self-esteem. Roughly 20 percent of teens experiencing depression before they reach adulthood. Approximately 44 percent of teen girls and 15 percent of teen boys are attempting to lose weight to feel better about themselves. More than 40 percent of boys engage in exercise in an attempt to build muscle to meet perceived notions of attractiveness.

The Royal Society for Public Health conducted a survey of people between the ages of 16 and 24 in the UK about their social media habits and self-described mental health. The study found that among social media platforms, Instagram was the most damaging to self-esteem. Of those surveyed, seven out of ten experienced cyber-bullying, with only thirty-seven percent having reported the harassment; 91 percent of those bullied said no action was taken by the social media network to reprimand bullies. Fortunately, the study also found that nearly seventy percent of young adults reported receiving support of some kind through social media during difficult or trying times.

The Consequences of Low Self-Esteem

Once someone develops a negative impression of themselves, the attitude tends to invade every aspect of their mentality. How this attitude manifests itself differs from person to person but seems to follow general patterns of behavior. Low-self esteem can be hard to manage but determining what pattern your low-self esteem follows can make it easier to overcome. Low self-esteem is defined by three major patterns:

Imposter Syndrome: Someone masks their insecurities by touting or exaggerating accomplishments, fearing that failures will reveal their flawed self.

Rebellion Model:  Someone identifies those who project an air of indifference towards others’ opinions as an attempt to convince themselves they also don’t care. These people tend to act out and defy authority.

Victimhood Model: Someone who convinces themselves, they are helpless in the face of challenges and use pity to avoid making changes.

The consequences of low self-esteem can also be dangerous as studies have found that substance abuse is commonly associated with low self-confidence, and worldwide more deaths are caused by low self-esteem and depression-related suicides each year than homicide or war.

Building Better Self-Confidence

The most recommended aid for building better self-confidence is to seek the help of a therapist. These professionals are experts at helping you uncover and work through the underlying causes of your negative self-image. This is done in an environment that is both comforting and private. It’s not difficult to find therapy options in your area; most cities have several local therapists who can build a regular meeting schedule with you.

There are articles, websites and self-help options to guide you to improve your self-esteem. If you are looking for lower cost or options to do from home, a quick internet search for ‘building self-confidence’ will show you things to do yourself to build confidence.

Putting it All Together

It’s important to keep in mind that you’re not alone, as there are millions of others facing the same difficulties.  There is a huge well of resources available to help you get the support you need.

You can overcome low self-esteem, and it often starts with making small changes day-to-day. The key is to realize your value and work toward appreciating the things that make you truly unique in life. If you need help, take advantage of the resources available to you. Start the process of working toward a more confident you today.

Put a Pep in Your Step – A Body in Motion Stays in Motion

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Newton’s Law of Motion states, “…a body at rest will remain at rest unless an outside force acts on it, and a body in motion at a constant velocity will remain in motion in a straight line unless acted upon by an outside force.”

Why You Should Get Up

You are sitting at home thinking about getting up and doing something. Maybe a walk. Oh man, but that takes work. That might be a little tough. You start to click through channels on TV and find something slightly entertaining. Maybe you are scrolling through your social media. What is Becky up to? Oh, she’s out hiking again. You wish you had time for that, right? You decide you will make time.  But, you never get up. Another article, story or funny cat video catches your interest.

I mean, getting up and moving is the hard part. Exercise for the body or mind is not always fun. It takes effort. You live a busy life and are exhausted. I get it. Exercising is not glamorous. There are so many things you can be doing instead of getting up and moving.

On the other hand, you want to live a happier and healthier life, right? Good thing getting up and moving will increase your quality of life. Taking a walk is known to help with the following; blood pressure, weight management, mental health, creativity, fatigue and even strengthen muscles and bones. Just walking can make you live longer.

According to the Mayo Clinic Fitness, Department of Health and Human Services take at least 150 minutes of moderate aerobic activity or 75 minutes of vigorous aerobic activity. The guidelines suggest that you spread out this exercise over a week.

That is only 22 minutes a day 7 days a week. Maybe you want to work less but with the same results. That is 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week. This is a little bit of change for major results.

How to Get in Motion

It’s easy to sit around and do nothing. Just do nothing. What is hard is to actually get up. Some recommend ‘baby steps’ to get started. Baby steps help you to start off slow and, with time, increase the length or intensity.

One way to start walking regularly at longer intervals is to start slow. Start with a steady walk around the block every day. Do this for a week or two. Then, switch it up and add an extra block to your current routine. Make sure to keep this going. By adding extra blocks you will help increase your ability to get moving even more.

If you start to feel bored or uninterested with your walks, change it up. You will see things from the reverse perspective you had seen in your previous walks.

This method is true with any workouts. You could apply this to weight lifting. Start with lighter weights. Keep with the same weight until they feel too light. Once this happens, you can increase the weight by small increments until it is easier to lift. Over time you will be able to lift heavier and heavier. Find what makes you happy so you enjoy your exercise.

Ideas for Sedentary Jobs

Maybe you work at a job where you sit all day. Sitting at a desk all day is very bad for your health and circulation. You must make sure you make to for yourself and your health. Some may find it hard to get even a little exercise at their jobs.

Breaks are a good time to get a little exercise in. What some people have been known to do is during your breaks, you can go for a walk for 5-15 minutes. If this is the most you can do, it is still a great start.

If you are looking for something to do from your desk, there are many different ideas available online; chair dips, desk lunges, squats, standing, stretching, desk dancing, walking in place and more.

Forming Good Habits

According to James Clear, a Behavioral Psychologist, it takes about 66 days to form a habit. A good technique in building a habit to keep moving is to create goals. Just like anything else, baby steps. Start with a small goal. Maybe you want to finish your walk in less than 30 minutes but not cut it short. Try picking up the pace and beating your previous time.

Understand that you are not perfect. Nor is anyone else. Everyone has their own struggles. The trick is to not let your troubles weigh you down and force you to quit. Keep that pep in your step. Keep your body in motion.

Getting off Course

Remember what newton said? “A body in motion at a constant velocity will remain in motion in a straight line unless acted upon by an outside force.” You can be that force. You can affect the motion in a positive way by causing it to accelerate and work harder. Making positive changes to increase the motion you are making. Then again, you can also be the wall that completely stops your movement.

Sometimes we find ourselves straying off course. We find that we have something taking away our time from our self-care. So, we put it off until tomorrow. Well, this might lead to putting it off the next day. Next thing you know, it has been a week or a month and you have completely broken your habit.

We all lose track sometimes. This happens a lot. We start doubting ourselves. We begin giving into temptations. All of a sudden, we are back at point A. Do not beat yourself up. Keep a positive attitude and hop right back in. Remember, you are not the only person struggling. But, you can only control yourself and your own mindset.

You have the ability to affect your movement in a positive or negative way. Don’t be the brick wall standing in your own way. Be the force to keeps the body moving in a straight line, or better yet, an upward path!

If it has been a while since you ‘fell off’, start at a comfortable pace. You do not want to start at the walk around the block, but you also do not want to become overwhelmed. Find a comfortable new starting point. This can seem difficult but it will help your body get back in motion.

Try to pinpoint what knocked you off track. Work on fixing the problem. Try and set new realistic goals with realistic timelines. Small goals equal success. It is okay to have an ending goal or big goals. But, it is important to also have small goals to help add to your positive mindset. Keep that pep in your step!

 

The Thin Line Between Self-care and Overindulgence

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Ever thought to yourself, “I’ve worked hard today, I deserve that piece of a cake?” Maybe you thought that the cake was a reward for a good day at work and would boost your mood. Whatever the case, if the slice of cake you ate would have sufficed to feed 4 people you may be overindulging and not really practicing self-care.

Most of us don’t do enough self-care, and when we do, we tend to go overboard. Finding balance in life can be difficult, especially in this material society where most of us work full time. Stress, sedentary lifestyle, and unhealthy habits all contribute to a growing need for self-care.

However, self-care may be as foreign as most other languages and all that is known is that there is an entire section dedicated to it at the bookstore. Despite this, many continue to struggle with self-care and finding that delicate balance between over-doing it and healing oneself.

What is Self-Care?

There are different types of self-care. Medical self-care pertains to your health and often requires health insurance. There are some great online resources for medical self-care information. Staying active, getting regular check-ups with your doctor and avoiding things like nicotine are all a part of medical self-care. Though never fun, preventative tests, procedures, and regular check-ups are all necessary if you are going to live a long, happy, healthy life.

Mental health self-care is another animal altogether, though there may be some cross-over with the medical realm. Coping with stress is a difficult and life-long endeavor, which even the experts at the CDC may have trouble with from time to time. Areas of trouble in mental health may call for medication such as antidepressants.

More often, however, mental health self-care means taking a day off from work once a month to recover and take care of what you need. Day in and day out, things are demanded of us and unless we take the time for ourselves, we run the risk of breaking.

One day out of the month take time to catch up on errands and get a massage, pedicure, or whatever you need. You are taking care of you.

Allowing yourself time to recover from stress and giving yourself a break every now and then is what self-care is all about.

 

Self-Care Obstacles and Needs

The job, the significant other, the friends who just won’t take no for an answer – these are all common reasons why we don’t take the time to take care of ourselves. Maybe you are prone to watching too much TV and staying sedentary. Whatever the case, these kinds of obstacles block you from living your best life and can absolutely be remedied.

Many people work all week and scramble to catch up on errands and with friends on the weekend. By Monday morning they often feel just as tired as they were on Friday with the whole week ahead of them. This may feel like a situation with no way out, however, you can find ways to balance your life.

Get enough sleep and schedule time with friends on your lunch breaks so that you get that quality time with loved ones. Sleep and connecting with those who matter to us is critical for living a fulfilling existence. We are more than just workers slaving away for a paycheck.

Take a good look at what you eat – are you eating a balanced, nutritious diet full of veggies and unprocessed foods? If your idea of meals centers around a fast-food drive through the answer is no. Our bodies are amazing machines that require the right kind of fuel to function properly. If you need more information on eating better, go to nutrition.gov for more on eating right.

 

Overindulgence vs. Self-Care

Is eating a piece of cake overindulging? It depends. Are you in a healthy weight range and decently active? If yes, then go for it. However, if every day after work you decide to eat a large piece of cake for a job well done, you are on the side of overindulgence. The same situation is true if you decide to go shopping instead of eating cake to reward yourself.

Too much of any good thing becomes something else that does not positively affect our health or lives. Phrases like work hard, play hard are so ingrained in our minds that we may not really be aware of what we need. Far too many of us also feel ashamed or guilty if we say “no” to our employers or friends when something is asked of us. As a consequence, we often put self-care at the bottom of the list or remove it altogether.

In an attempt to compensate for lack of self-care we then overindulge. For instance, some of us chose to work ourselves to the bone and then eat an unhealthy meal, this cycle only further taxes our already fatigued body.

Overspending is another common attempt at compensating. Instead of reading a good book after a nice bath, we overstimulate ourselves and create financial stress by turning our anxiety towards the shopping mall and stressing our limited resources.

Eating and shopping are certainly not the only areas commonly over or underutilized. Exercise is another big one, as are prescription pills, drinking, and watching Netflix.

Healthy Middle

The healthy middle looks differently for everyone. Everyone has that friend whose energy seems limitless no matter how much they take on. Don’t try to be someone you are not. Assess your own strengths and weaknesses and find where you need to focus your self-care time and energy.

Maybe you need a spa day with a friend or just and nice relaxing bath. If you have not exercised in living memory, maybe you could go on a hike with a friend or join a local exercise studio. Finding friends and support when exercising has been proven to improve the all-around experience.

Whatever you need in life, take it. Don’t apologize and don’t stress or feel guilty for taking care of you. You are important and deserve to live a healthy, fulfilling life. Get started living your best life today.

 

Causes of Low Self-Esteem

Why Do I Feel So Low? Understanding the Top Causes of Low Self Esteem

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Very few things in this life can be as disparaging as living with low self-esteem.

Low self-esteem can cause a plethora of problems in our lives. It creates self-doubt in every aspect of lives.  It can create issues at work, at home, and in relationships.

Low self-esteem can be emotionally and even physically crippling.

If we don’t know why we have low self-esteem, we can’t begin to correct it.

Read on to uncover and understand some major causes of low self-esteem.

Disapproving or Uninvolved Parents, Guardians, and Authority Figures

There’s a high percentage of people who, even as adults, have a problem with one or both of their parents.

As children, our parents are the most prominent figures in our lives. It’s no surprise then, that bad parenting can be one of the leading causes of low self-esteem.

Take, for example, a parent who has impossibly high expectations for their children. Trying to bear up under a disapproving parent whom you can never please can create unshakeable low self-worth.

Indifferent parents can have the same effect, however. When we feel as though no matter what we do, we can never gain their attention or get them to care about us. It can make us feel incredibly small.

This feeling can evolve into low self-esteem, carrying on into adulthood.

Similarly, an authority figure who doesn’t appreciate or notice us can produce similar feelings of low self-worth at any age.

Be it a boss, instructor, coach or teacher, these people have considerable influence over our self-image.

In fact, disapproval and indifference of authority figures are some of the leading causes of low self-esteem in adults.

Society

Societal expectations are always changing. One thing that doesn’t change about society’s expectations, however, is the impossibility to fulfill them.

Trying to fit into the uniquely shaped boxes society says we belong in is a never-ending battle in futility. These demands are largely due to the media such as movies, magazines, music, and TV.

With the explosive rise of social media in the last few years, things have gotten exponentially worse.

We’re told how we should look, how we should behave, and who we should be. We’re trained to believe that by not being any of those things, we have somehow failed at life.

Every decade, a woman’s “ideal” appearance changes. There are very few decades in which any woman could possibly achieve those standards.

Although women can acknowledge how ludicrous these expectations are, they still feel demoralized if they don’t fit the mold, leading to one of the most prevalent causes of low self-esteem among their gender.

Society’s demands on men can also be stringent. They must be either incredibly successful or look like the most recent action hero, or both.

While health and fitness are important, these expectations set by the media lead to unhealthy obsessions and attitudes towards food and exercise.

Trauma

There are many traumatic events in life that can transform our self-concept into something negative.

For example, being bullied, as a child or an adult, can lead to the belief that we’re inferior and pathetic to those around us.

It’s understandable, though. How can we have high self-esteem when someone’s in our face telling us otherwise?

Abusive relationships also cause of low self-esteem.

As a child or an adult, being sexually abused can lead to life-long issues of low self-worth and insecurities. While men are not immune to sexual abuse, women are more likely to be victimized by sexual assault.

In fact, one in five women has been sexually assaulted, while only one in 71 men has been.

Repeated sexual abuse as a child can lead to severe mental health issues, low self-esteem included.

Non-physical abusive can cause low self-esteem, too. A partner who calls us names, tears us down, or makes us feel undesired doesn’t exactly bolster our self-confidence.

However, when we love someone, we stay with them, even if they are crushing our spirit. It’s unfortunate, but we tend to stay in abusive relationships long after the damage has been done.

Long-term verbal and emotional abuse can lead to permanent discrepancies in our self-image.

Belief Systems

Sometimes, our belief systems can hold just as much weight over us as a disapproving parent. Regardless of what religion we identify with, there are standards and expectations of how we should live our lives.

This isn’t always a bad thing. “Thou shalt not kill,” for example, is a pretty good rule to live by. However, there are some organizations, even if it is just individual churches, that take it to the extreme.

These establishments tend to focus on the dos and don’ts of religion rather than love and forgiveness, leading to the belief that we aren’t good enough, that we’re just wicked sinners.

If people buckled under the disapproving eyes of their parents, what do you think they will do under the disapproving eyes of their God, real or implied by those around them?

Guilt

Guilt is one of the biggest self-induced causes of low self-esteem.

Whether we wronged someone, failed at something, or made a poor life decision, our own guilt can eat us alive.

We obsess over what we could have done differently and torture ourselves with guilt. By reliving our mistakes in our minds, we begin to diminish our self-worth. We begin to see ourselves as those failures.

If we have done wrong, we must ask for forgiveness and move on, whether or not our apology is accepted. Most importantly, we must learn to forgive ourselves.

Unrealistic Expectations of Ourselves

Unrealistic expectations of ourselves go hand-in-hand with guilt.

We set impractical goals and when we inevitably fall short of them, we punish ourselves. Setting goals that are unachievable creates an environment in which failure is not only an option but a certainty.

Making matters worse, we are our own worst critics.

We can’t see past things in our bodies, art, performance, and life that we find flawed, even though no one else notices them.

If we constantly tell ourselves we aren’t good enough, that is what we will believe.

Moving Past the Causes of Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem issues lie deep beneath the surface and are engrained in our personalities. To complicate things, most of us suffer from multiple causes of low self-esteem.

We must be careful, for if we stay in a place (low self-esteem) long enough, we become that place.

So how do we move past it?

Fortunately, there are hobbies we can pick up, people we can talk to, and confidence building exercises we can do to boost self-esteem.

Mostly, we need to understand three things. We aren’t alone, it’s not our fault, and it doesn’t have to be this way.

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The Terrible Truth About Low Self-Esteem in Relationships

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The majority of women, adolescents and a rising number of men suffer from low self esteem. It’s something anyone can struggle with, but it’s having a damaging effect on women in every aspect of life.

Women in the workforce lack confidence, downplay or even apologize for their accomplishments and underestimate themselves constantly. Women are less likely to put in for a promotion and will even second guess their answers.

Low self-esteem in relationships whether personal or professional can limit your potential and leave you feeling unsatisfied and searching for more.

Keep reading to learn more about the effects of low self-esteem in relationships. We’ll discuss ways to deepen your relationships as you build a loving relationship with yourself.

Self-Esteem – What’s That?

Many people confuse self-esteem with being full of yourself. They are two totally different things. There is such a thing as being too confident though many people who come off that way are actually overcompensating for low self-esteem or self-doubt.

Self Esteem is not about thinking you’re better than everyone but it’s also not to worry that you’re worse. You have no problem confidently sharing your talents and there’s no need to convince others that you’re good because you know that you are- your value doesn’t come from their opinions.

It is to value yourself and the gifts and talents you have to offer. It is to accept your weaknesses and being willing to work on them because your worth does not come from your best or worst moment.

Self Esteem, Self Worth and Self Confidence

Self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence are all different things. 

Self-esteem is how you truly feel about yourself. It is whether you care enough about yourself to put action and effort into reaching your dreams. It is knowing your dreams and feelings have worth. Low self-esteem means the person does not understand their worth 

Self-worth doesn’t change. You may not be aware of your worth as a human being, as a beautiful soul with talents to share and gifts to give the people and world around you.

Whether you are aware of those gifts and talents or not, they are there and your worth is always the same. No one person has more worth than another.

Self-confidence is whether you believe in yourself or not. It can change from one minute to the next and can often depend on the opinions of others or situation one is in.

Low Self Esteem in Relationships at Home

Low self-esteem not only interferes with your ability to enjoy each moment of the day but it interferes with your ability to trust in and enjoy any relationship to its fullest.

Second Guess Yourself

Low self-esteem can cause you to second guess your thoughts, needs, and wants. You may end up having difficulty making a decision or expressing yourself.

Often it can lead to putting the needs of others before your own and may even cause feelings of resentment towards your partner because your needs are going unmet.

Reading More Into Their Words 

Those who suffer from low self-esteem have difficulty accepting a compliment but will give great significance to insults. There can be a great deal of miscommunication because more is read into the words of a partner.

Difficulty with Intimacy

Low self-esteem can make it hard to be intimate and can interfere with the ability for partners to be uninhibited in their feelings and physical relationship.

A Hard Time Trusting or Making Commitments

When you don’t understand your own worth and know that you are lovable it can be hard to believe someone is genuine when they make a commitment to you.

Less Able to Find Joy in the Moment

Feelings of low self-esteem make it much harder to live in the moment and feel the joy if you’re worrying about whether you measure up. There is often guilt, fear, and depression associated with low self-esteem.

Greater Complications in Life

Those with low self-esteem are more likely to have issues with addiction, prostitution, and theft.

Many struggling with addiction feel they need a few drinks or some other substance to “loosen up” and relax. Promiscuity and prostitution are more likely as the individual searches for fulfillment through physical contact or they believe that is where their worth comes from.

Improving Your Self Esteem

Just because you struggle with low self-esteem now doesn’t mean it has to stay that way. You’re awesome! You just need to put some effort into realizing it.

There are some steps you can take to increase your self-confidence and improve your relationships at the same time.

Take Up a Hobby or Sport

There are several confidence-building hobbies that can help you feel better physically and allow you to mentally connect with a loved one.

Take up meditation, yoga, or learn a musical instrument. These activities can help you relax, focus, and give you a sense of accomplishment.

Any team sport and exercise, in general, is good for building social skills and boosting confidence while having a bit of fun. Joining a league with your partner can give you time together and get some healthy exercise in the process.

Set S.M.A.R.T. Goals

Whether it’s personal goals or relationship goals, you want to make sure you set yourself up for success. The best way to do this is to set S.M.A.R.T. goals.

Specific 

When you set specific goals you know what you’re striving for. If they’re too general you have no motivation to get started or continue to reach some vague destination

Measurable

It’s easier to keep motivated if you can measure your progress and success. This will also help your self-esteem as you see how far you’ve come.

Achievable

You aren’t doing yourself any good by setting goals you can’t achieve. This works on two levels. You need to know there’s a finish line to reach and that finish line isn’t too far away to ever make it to.

Relevant

Is the goal you’re working on today getting you closer to your dreams? 

Time Sensitive

The great procrastinators of the world know if you don’t have a time limit it will never get started let alone accomplished. Setting a time limit gives you a reason to start working on your goal and continue moving forward.

It’s Okay to Have Needs

It’s perfectly okay to have needs and to express them. You can’t always get what you want but you deserve to have your needs met. You can’t expect your partner to be able to meet your needs if they don’t know what they are.

Often it’s hard for people with low self-esteem in relationships to express what they need but the more you do it the easier it will become.

Check out our blog for more suggestions including great tips on what to do if you love someone with low self-esteem.

10 Healthy Hobbies That Help Build Confidence and Self Esteem

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Former First Lady, Michelle Obama is a strong advocate for education. She once said, “Through my education, I didn’t just develop skills…I developed confidence.” Many people would love to learn how to develop confidence too.

Hobbies can be trivial pastimes or interests that fill the time between work or other responsibilities and sleep. Alternatively, they can make a profound difference in our lives. Read on to learn about 10 healthy hobbies that can help build confidence and self-esteem.

Health and Wellbeing

What’s a healthy hobby? On the face of it, a healthy hobby could be one that involves physical exercise. An example could be jogging or swimming.

This idea of health is a limited and unhelpful one. Health and wellbeing are much broader concepts. It includes both physical and psychological health.

Thinking about health and wellbeing as both physical and psychological or emotional recognizes that they are interlinked. Poor psychological health can have a detrimental effect on physical health and vice versa. Aspects of our psychology such as confidence can be linked to physical factors such as nutrition, obesity, blood pressure and more.

Healthy hobbies can, therefore, be defined as any hobbies that have a positive impact on your physical or psychological well-being. A key aspect of your psychological wellbeing is confidence and self-esteem.

1. Meditation

There are many ways of taking up meditation. It may be included as part of a yoga or tai chi class. It’s often a feature of mindfulness training.

There are many different traditions of meditation with a variety of approaches and techniques.

Some traditions emphasize visualization, repeating mantras or chanting. These approaches may work by occupying or filling the mind in order to exclude negative or unhelpful thoughts.

Other approaches emphasize the emptying of the mind. The focus with this approach is on your own breathing, self-examination, and awareness.

These techniques can be helpful by inducing relaxation, reduced anxiety and feelings of wellbeing. Low self-esteem and lack of confidence can arise from difficulty with being anxious or relaxed. Mindfulness practice such as meditation has been proven to have beneficial effects on self-esteem.

2. Creative Arts

Art therapy has long been used to assist people with a range of health issues. It can provide a distraction from worries and anxiety but it may do much more.

Expressing thoughts and feelings through creative art can be a release for your emotions. Communicating through visual arts, writing or even dance might be easier for you than discussing your feelings or engaging with people in other ways.

There is a boost to self-esteem and confidence that comes from learning a new skill and successfully expressing yourself. It’s only a short step to realizing that success in one area of your life could be followed by success in another.

3. Yoga

Yoga can start simply with a beginner’s class. As your flexibility and knowledge grow you can quickly perform more difficult positions. At the same time as your physical capability develops you also develop your breathing control and some mental techniques.

Breath control is very closely linked to anxiety and confidence. Anxiety and stress are associated with shallow and ineffective breathing. Better breath control has the effect of calming the body and mind and helps confidence for example with speaking in public and dealing with conflict.

4. Study

Not everybody has had a positive experience of education. Deep-seated negative feelings can arise out of poor academic performance and bullying in school. These experiences may have turned you off academic study in later life.

Learning as an adult is not the same as learning in school. Learning can be a hobby that rebuilds lost confidence by helping you see yourself as someone who can acquire new skills and achieve good academic results.

5. Travel

Taking yourself out of your normal life can be an opportunity to try out new versions of yourself with no risk to existing relationships. Traveling, especially solo traveling, lets you do this.

Try a short solo trip. You have to interact with people to arrange accommodation, use transportation, and dine out.

Successfully doing this can build your confidence in your independence and self-sufficiency. This can then spill over into your home, work, and social relationships.

6. Cooking

Building self-confidence is sometimes about building a belief in your own capability and valuing that capability. Mastering the cooking arts can help build that confidence.

Share the fruits of your cooking labors with others by taking cakes into work or having people around for meals. People tend to be appreciative guests and it’s a great boost to your self-esteem to be praised for your food.

7. Volunteering for Community Work

Try volunteering in your community. There are always opportunities to do this on a small or large scale. Help at a thrift store, coach little league or visit elders.

Giving something back to your community has several benefits for your self-esteem. You can feel good about your contribution to society and others. Also, it is beneficial to your confidence to take your attention away from yourself and your concerns and turn your attention to others.

8. Music and Singing

Mastering new skills are good for your self-esteem but music can do more than this. Performing takes a special kind of confidence. Sometimes people who have difficulties with their confidence in part of their life can find the confidence to perform music.

If this seems too much of a stretch, try singing in a choir. The experience of singing with others can be both uplifting and life-affirming. The shared challenge of singing in a group tends to make everybody supportive and encouraging.

9. Martial Arts

Martial arts are a fun group learning experience. Nobody is expected to be a black belt from the start and in fact, many martial arts are built on a model of gradual development at your pace. As you progress through the stages or belts you have a sense of achievement and growing confidence that translates into everyday life.

It’s a great feeling to think that you have a skill that your family and friends don’t have. More than that, you could probably kick their buts too!

10. Public Speaking

There are classes in public speaking. This is a skill many people need for work, college, and even in everyday life from time to time. Yet, public speaking is something many people are frightened to do.

Public speaking classes recognize that building confidence is key to successful public speaking. As a result, an emphasis is given to developing confidence building techniques such as visualization, breathing exercises, and affirmation. Try it and you’ll find it helps in other aspects of your life too.

Build Confidence and Self-Esteem

Take time to develop your emotional wellbeing and it will reap rewards. Build confidence by taking up the best hobbies to build self-esteem. Have fun and feel better.

Here are some more ideas to improve self-esteem.

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7 Ways Exercise Can Boost Your Self-Esteem

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85 percent of people worldwide say they have low self-esteem. This epidemic affects families, relationships, careers, and confidence.

Low self-esteem can lead to depression and a risk of suicide in some people.

Luckily, there’s one easy solution that makes a world of difference: exercise. Moving the body and breaking a sweat have proven benefits for confidence and self worth. And, exercise covers tons of different activities; there’s one for everyone.

If you want to boost self-esteem for yourself or a loved one, keep reading. Here are seven ways exercise raises self worth and confidence.

1. You Feel Accomplished

How do you feel when you finish a project or reach a goal? You feel accomplished, proud, and satisfied.

These feelings all contribute to a higher self worth. Completing a challenge shows that you are capable and strong. You have what it takes.

Exercise is a channel to grow to those feelings. Setting the goal to work out three times a week is a good starting place. After that first week, you gain momentum to keep going.

Every time you complete a workout, you feel pride and are in awe of your body. Self esteem increases when we appreciate our bodies and believe in our abilities. No matter how “gross” you thought your body was, you can’t deny that it’s powerful.

2. You Get Stronger

Speaking of how powerful our bodies are, exercising makes you stronger. Even if you only do it a couple of times per week, your muscles are getting stronger.

Some workouts are specifically meant for improving strength. If this is a goal, consider trying HIIT classes at a gym or kickboxing. Weight lifting is also great for growing muscle.

No matter what exercise you do, your muscles benefit. And, when you feel your body getting stronger you feel stronger emotionally. If your body can do it, why can’t your mind?

There’s also a value in getting stronger because you can defend yourself. Knowing that you could protect yourself against an attacker is very liberating. It makes you feel empowered and more confident.

3. Stress Decreases

Five minutes of aerobic activity can decrease feelings of anxiety and stress. What would your life look like with less stress and anxiety?

Stress comes from all different types of pressure. Our jobs, relationships, health, and self-esteem all cause stress. Exercising puts a wedge in the low-self-esteem/high-stress cycle.

For some, exercise is a way to release excess emotions, like anger and anxiety. Boxing, interval running, and yoga are all useful forms of exercise for anxiety.

Yoga also has benefits for stress. It teaches you to breathe through your emotions, validate them and watch them pass.

When you decrease the stress in your life, there’s less pressure to be perfect. It allows you to accept yourself and understand that life is a journey. We are all works in progress.

4. Clearer Thinking

A good sweat session improves blood circulation and increases the hippocampus. The hippocampus is a part of the brain that handles memory and learning.

Have you ever noticed how alert and awake you feel after working out? It’s like the brain fog clears and you can process your thoughts easier.

Low self-esteem can be a result of negative thought processes. Instead of arguing that inner voice, we give in because it’s easier. When you have a clear mind, you can use logic and rationality.

After exercising, it’s easier to tell that inner voice it’s wrong. You can point to A, B, and C reasons that you’re a worthy person. Exercise clears the fog in your brain so you can see how great you are.

5. Improves Your Mood

The brain produces a hormone called beta-endorphins. These hormones make you feel optimistic, open, and happy. They also lower stress and reduce symptoms of depression.

You can jumpstart the production of beta-endorphins by exercising. People who enjoy running call this the “runner’s high”. After a good workout, they feel happier and more confident.

Low self esteem is a symptom of a negative mindset; the cup is always half empty. When you have a regular production of endorphins from exercise, the glass is half full.

Self esteem improves when we change our mindsets to one of positivity. Positive thinking fuels positive feelings; it’s a self-fulfilling cycle.

6. Causes Physical Changes

Your self esteem does not depend on how small or big you are. Many people believe that if that only lose those extra pounds, they’ll be happy.

But, that isn’t true. When you have low self-esteem, you’ll always find things about yourself that you need to fix. You focus on the final product instead of the journey to get there.

Working out will lead to a change in your body. These changes, like muscle definition, can be encouraging on your journey. It’s important that you also notice how you feel on the inside when you workout, though.

It’s exciting to see physical changes in our bodies. But, remember that your mindset strongly affects self esteem in the long run.

7. Introduces You to a Support System

Joining an awesome fitness center allows you to meet people in the same boat as you. You’re surrounded by others who know that exercising feels good.

When you exercise in groups, you feel less alone. You aren’t the only one that has low self esteem; it seems like a human condition these days.

Support systems build your self esteem because you see others believing in themselves. Your instructors believe in you because you’re worthy. When you fall off the horse, these people will help you get back on.

Don’t hesitate to find a supportive group of people on your self esteem journey.

Ready to Boost Self-Esteem with Exercise?

Low self-esteem is an issue that affects people from every country at every age. Everyone struggles with stress, pressure, and self-doubt.

Exercise reduces these negative feelings and can boost self-esteem.

You can start the journey to better self-confidence by exercising. Learn about different exercises that will give you a boost. You are worth investing in your health; don’t let your inner voice tell you otherwise.

7 Bad Habits That are Killing Your Self-Esteem

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Did you know that 85% of us struggle with low self-esteem?

This lack of confidence can negatively impact every area of a person’s life. While some sources of low self-esteem are deep-rooted, others are the product of bad habits.

Whether you struggle with negative feelings or you’re concerned about a loved one, take the time to read through this list of self-esteem killing habits.

Could one (or more) of these be contributing to the problem?

1. Setting Unrealistic Goals

Do you want to lose weight, land your dream job, or climb Mount Everest?

Those are all amazing goals. But in order to achieve them, you’ve got to break them down into smaller, more manageable pieces.

If you try to lose 40 pounds in 4 weeks or expect to make a million dollars right out of college, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. The result? Your self-esteem takes a major hit–and you quickly give up on your goal.

Before you set out to climb Everest, try hitting the gym regularly and competing in some local 10Ks. Little by little, you can work toward your ultimate goal (and feel great about yourself in the process).

2. Comparing Yourself to Others

One of the fastest ways to kill your confidence is to compare yourself to your friends, family, and colleagues.

Research has already proved that kids today can experience low self-esteem from spending too much time on social media. The same is true of adults.

Shining snapshots of our friends’ lives make it seem like they have it all. Soon we get into the mindset that everyone is doing “better” than we are–better vacations, better homes, better clothes.

We can also fall into the bad habit of comparing ourselves to colleagues at work. Or maybe you have a sibling or close friend who seems more successful in business or in their personal life.

If you want to improve your self-esteem, stop focusing on what everyone else has accomplished. You’ll never get around to accomplishing your own goals!

3. Not Forgiving Yourself

Do you spend a lot of time dwelling on the past? Do you focus more on mistakes you made than on what you hope to achieve tomorrow, next week, or 10 years from now?

Letting go can be a challenge, especially if you feel you’ve made some serious mistakes. But dwelling on those mistakes indefinitely will only lead to feelings of blame, regret, and failure.

The result? You get stuck in a pattern of negative thinking, and this self-defeatist attitude prevents you from moving forward.

Let yourself off the hook. Learn from your mistakes and be determined to put them behind you. Then read some self-esteem quotes, dust yourself off, and focus on (a more positive) future.

4. Letting Fear Dictate Your Life

As FDR famously said, “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important.”

We’re all afraid of something. It’s part of being human. When you have low self-esteem, though, it’s easy to let this fear hold you back.

It’s often easier to say, “It’s too hard,” or “I don’t know how to do that.” When fear rules your life, you use it as an excuse not to try anything new. The more time that passes without working toward any goals, the lower your self-esteem will sink.

Think about this: What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? Travel to a foreign place? Start your own business? Learn a new language or skill?

Whatever you have in mind, learn to rephrase that negative thinking with a more positive thought. Instead of saying, “It’s too hard,” try, “How can I make this happen? What’s the first step?”

5. Trying to Please Everybody (All the Time)

Not having personal or professional boundaries is another sure way to lower your self-esteem. If you’re a people pleaser who never says “no” to anyone, you’ll eventually run out of time for yourself.

When that happens, you’ll feel as if your life is spiraling out of control. What’s important to you will be shoved to the backburner and (you guessed it) your self-esteem will suffer.

Yes, there will be occasions when you need to work overtime or do a favor for a friend. But when it becomes a habit, you’ll end up frustrated, scatter-brained, and stressed out.

Break this habit by learning how to say “no.” Practice in front of a mirror if you have to. Set clear boundaries about your time with family members and work colleagues–and then stick to them.

6. Physical or Mental Laziness

Lacking confidence in yourself and the way you look? The surest way to perpetuate that cycle is to sit on the couch and do nothing about it.

Research proves that exercise improves mood and self-esteem while fighting social withdrawal tendencies. It also provides a rush of feel-good endorphins and leaves you with a great sense of accomplishment.

The same can be said for not exercising your mind. If you’re feeling down, the easiest thing to do is plop down in front of the television or mindlessly scroll through your phone.

Even when you’re tired, take a few minutes to actively engage your brain. Read a few pages of a book (an actual book) or spend a few minutes practicing a new skill. You might also try meditation or mindfulness and focus your attention on positive thoughts.

7. Constantly Criticizing Yourself

A final bad habit many with low self-esteem fall victim to is negative self-talk.

How many times a day do you think something like:

  • “You’re too fat.”
  • “You’ll never be good enough.”
  • “You’re such an idiot.”
  • “You can’t do anything right.”

If these phrases are a daily part of your thinking pattern, guess what? You’ll believe them–and your self-esteem will become even worse.

Work hard to eliminate such negative thoughts from your mind. Replace them with positive, reinforcing thoughts like, “I respect my body” or “I did well on that task.”

Improve Low Self-Esteem Today

As you can see, bad habits play a large role in low self-esteem.

If you identified any of these habits in yourself, take action to cultivate a more positive mindset. You’re sure to see good results if you do.

Looking for more advice on improving your self-esteem? Click here.