low self-esteem in relationships

The Terrible Truth About Low Self-Esteem in Relationships

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The majority of women, adolescents and a rising number of men suffer from low self esteem. It’s something anyone can struggle with, but it’s having a damaging effect on women in every aspect of life.

Women in the workforce lack confidence, downplay or even apologize for their accomplishments and underestimate themselves constantly. Women are less likely to put in for a promotion and will even second guess their answers.

Low self-esteem in relationships whether personal or professional can limit your potential and leave you feeling unsatisfied and searching for more.

Keep reading to learn more about the effects of low self-esteem in relationships. We’ll discuss ways to deepen your relationships as you build a loving relationship with yourself.

Self-Esteem – What’s That?

Many people confuse self-esteem with being full of yourself. They are two totally different things. There is such a thing as being too confident though many people who come off that way are actually overcompensating for low self-esteem or self-doubt.

Self Esteem is not about thinking you’re better than everyone but it’s also not to worry that you’re worse. You have no problem confidently sharing your talents and there’s no need to convince others that you’re good because you know that you are- your value doesn’t come from their opinions.

It is to value yourself and the gifts and talents you have to offer. It is to accept your weaknesses and being willing to work on them because your worth does not come from your best or worst moment.

Self Esteem, Self Worth and Self Confidence

Self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence are all different things. 

Self-esteem is how you truly feel about yourself. It is whether you care enough about yourself to put action and effort into reaching your dreams. It is knowing your dreams and feelings have worth. Low self-esteem means the person does not understand their worth 

Self-worth doesn’t change. You may not be aware of your worth as a human being, as a beautiful soul with talents to share and gifts to give the people and world around you.

Whether you are aware of those gifts and talents or not, they are there and your worth is always the same. No one person has more worth than another.

Self-confidence is whether you believe in yourself or not. It can change from one minute to the next and can often depend on the opinions of others or situation one is in.

Low Self Esteem in Relationships at Home

Low self-esteem not only interferes with your ability to enjoy each moment of the day but it interferes with your ability to trust in and enjoy any relationship to its fullest.

Second Guess Yourself

Low self-esteem can cause you to second guess your thoughts, needs, and wants. You may end up having difficulty making a decision or expressing yourself.

Often it can lead to putting the needs of others before your own and may even cause feelings of resentment towards your partner because your needs are going unmet.

Reading More Into Their Words 

Those who suffer from low self-esteem have difficulty accepting a compliment but will give great significance to insults. There can be a great deal of miscommunication because more is read into the words of a partner.

Difficulty with Intimacy

Low self-esteem can make it hard to be intimate and can interfere with the ability for partners to be uninhibited in their feelings and physical relationship.

A Hard Time Trusting or Making Commitments

When you don’t understand your own worth and know that you are lovable it can be hard to believe someone is genuine when they make a commitment to you.

Less Able to Find Joy in the Moment

Feelings of low self-esteem make it much harder to live in the moment and feel the joy if you’re worrying about whether you measure up. There is often guilt, fear, and depression associated with low self-esteem.

Greater Complications in Life

Those with low self-esteem are more likely to have issues with addiction, prostitution, and theft.

Many struggling with addiction feel they need a few drinks or some other substance to “loosen up” and relax. Promiscuity and prostitution are more likely as the individual searches for fulfillment through physical contact or they believe that is where their worth comes from.

Improving Your Self Esteem

Just because you struggle with low self-esteem now doesn’t mean it has to stay that way. You’re awesome! You just need to put some effort into realizing it.

There are some steps you can take to increase your self-confidence and improve your relationships at the same time.

Take Up a Hobby or Sport

There are several confidence-building hobbies that can help you feel better physically and allow you to mentally connect with a loved one.

Take up meditation, yoga, or learn a musical instrument. These activities can help you relax, focus, and give you a sense of accomplishment.

Any team sport and exercise, in general, is good for building social skills and boosting confidence while having a bit of fun. Joining a league with your partner can give you time together and get some healthy exercise in the process.

Set S.M.A.R.T. Goals

Whether it’s personal goals or relationship goals, you want to make sure you set yourself up for success. The best way to do this is to set S.M.A.R.T. goals.

Specific 

When you set specific goals you know what you’re striving for. If they’re too general you have no motivation to get started or continue to reach some vague destination

Measurable

It’s easier to keep motivated if you can measure your progress and success. This will also help your self-esteem as you see how far you’ve come.

Achievable

You aren’t doing yourself any good by setting goals you can’t achieve. This works on two levels. You need to know there’s a finish line to reach and that finish line isn’t too far away to ever make it to.

Relevant

Is the goal you’re working on today getting you closer to your dreams? 

Time Sensitive

The great procrastinators of the world know if you don’t have a time limit it will never get started let alone accomplished. Setting a time limit gives you a reason to start working on your goal and continue moving forward.

It’s Okay to Have Needs

It’s perfectly okay to have needs and to express them. You can’t always get what you want but you deserve to have your needs met. You can’t expect your partner to be able to meet your needs if they don’t know what they are.

Often it’s hard for people with low self-esteem in relationships to express what they need but the more you do it the easier it will become.

Check out our blog for more suggestions including great tips on what to do if you love someone with low self-esteem.

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How Much Is Too Much: How to Figure out Your Level of Self Esteem

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Your self-esteem is more than just a meaningless term thrown around by psychologists. Self-esteem is the set of beliefs about oneself that people use to understand their role in the world. A person’s self-esteem affects how they think about themselves, what they’re capable of, and who they are.

If a person’s self-esteem is extremely low, they can miss out on important opportunities throughout their lives. Instead of believing that they are worth taking opportunities, people with low self-esteem may instead let them pass by. If it’s extremely low, a person’s self-esteem will perpetuate negative thought patterns. This is because people simply may not believe they are worth better.

However, extremely high levels of self-esteem can also leave a person feeling isolated and alone. They may seem arrogant or cocky, and people may start avoiding them. In response, a person may believe they intimidate people and that there is nothing wrong with them.

Knowing the difference, and understanding the importance of having healthy self-esteem, can lead to a better life. Keep reading below to learn more about self-esteem, and how you can tell if your level of self esteem is healthy.

Different Factors Determine Your Level of Self Esteem

While some people innately form and maintain healthy beliefs about themselves, most people can’t. For most people, the beliefs they have about themselves come from a variety of sources.

For example, a person may have low self-esteem if they can’t relate to normal perceptions of beauty. If someone is large and dark-haired, and media messages suggest that only thin, blonde people are beautiful, then they won’t feel beautiful. It can follow that if someone doesn’t believe they’re beautiful, they’re not worthy of being loved.

Media messages may shape a person’s beliefs about themselves. Yet, so can someone’s different experiences and the people around them. If their friends avoid them or are usually worried about them, someone may start to believe there’s something wrong with them.

These external factors work together to form the most important factor affecting self-esteem: their internal thoughts. Information from the outside world directly shapes how people think about themselves. If those outside influences can form negative thought patterns, then those they will only chip away at a person’s self-esteem. 

Low Self-Esteem Is More Than Just Feeling Bad

A person with low levels of self-esteem doesn’t just feel sad for a few days. Instead, they can feel trapped and desperate, while also feeling inadequate and unworthy of basic needs. It may seem like they’re just sad, but in reality, they are stuck in a loop of mental anguish.

For example, a person with low self-esteem may believe they don’t deserve to eat a meal, even if they are hungry. This may lead to them starving themselves, which leads to worse self-beliefs, since they may think they’re incapable of taking care of themselves. Negative beliefs feed into each other, and will only ever make things worse.

It’s healthy to believe that you should lose an extra 10 pounds, or save more money. It’s healthy to withhold the things someone may enjoy from themselves if it’s out of self-love. It’s fine to skip a meal if someone wants to lose an extra 10 pounds and are following a healthy weight-loss regiment.

However, it becomes unhealthy when a person withholds things out of a sense of self-loathing. If someone skips a meal because they believe they don’t deserve it, that can be a sign of a serious mental health issue.

The best way to care for someone you think may be suffering from a low level of self-esteem is to remind them they’re valuable. Reiterating how much a person means to their friends and family may break negative thought cycles. It can break the negative loop someone may feel trapped in.

Self-Esteem Can Be Too High, Not Just Too Low

Just like how people can ensnare themselves in negative thought patterns, they can be trapped in positive ones too. These thought patterns boost a person’s self-esteem to potentially unsafe levels. As a result, they may seem arrogant and full of themselves, which may lead to people avoiding them.

Yet, people with self-esteem that are too high may need help just as much as people whose levels are too low. It’s easy for people with extremely high self-esteem to fall into delusions about themselves. They can start to believe that they have powers most people don’t or that they understand the world differently.

When these delusions take hold, it can be difficult to convince someone that they’re wrong. A person with extremely high levels of self-esteem may not believe they need to listen to other people. Speaking with them can feel like speaking with a bombastic and arrogant wall.

Believing strange things about themselves is only one thing to be wary of. People with high levels of self esteem may also suddenly crash. They may not be able to keep themselves in such a positive light for long, and their esteem may come crumbling down.

When that happens, people with high levels of self esteem may act dramatically and dangerously. They can threaten suicide or self-harm out of desperation to reclaim the positive light they were in. If they reach that point, it’s best to call a professional to immediately help them.

However, it’s not impossible to talk with someone with extremely high levels of self-esteem. It’s just important to remember that they may be deluded, and you should never address the delusion directly. It’s better to suggest an alternative and healthier belief about themselves, rather than directly saying someone is wrong.

Healthy Self-Esteem Is a Crucial Part of Mental Health

Although there are a lot of factors that can affect someone’s mental health, a healthy level of self esteem is crucial. If people have unhealthy beliefs about themselves, then everything else will be unhealthy too. Their perceptions of themselves will be reflected in their relationships, career, and everything else.

Luckily, a person’s self-esteem can always change. It’s as fluid as everything else that makes up a person’s health. Poor self-esteem can always improve, no matter the circumstance.

All someone needs to do is work at it. One of the ways to work at improving self-esteem is by reading supportive articles. You can keep reading those here, where we will always update you with the latest information on psychology and mental health.

10 Healthy Hobbies That Help Build Confidence and Self Esteem

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Former First Lady, Michelle Obama is a strong advocate for education. She once said, “Through my education, I didn’t just develop skills…I developed confidence.” Many people would love to learn how to develop confidence too.

Hobbies can be trivial pastimes or interests that fill the time between work or other responsibilities and sleep. Alternatively, they can make a profound difference in our lives. Read on to learn about 10 healthy hobbies that can help build confidence and self-esteem.

Health and Wellbeing

What’s a healthy hobby? On the face of it, a healthy hobby could be one that involves physical exercise. An example could be jogging or swimming.

This idea of health is a limited and unhelpful one. Health and wellbeing are much broader concepts. It includes both physical and psychological health.

Thinking about health and wellbeing as both physical and psychological or emotional recognizes that they are interlinked. Poor psychological health can have a detrimental effect on physical health and vice versa. Aspects of our psychology such as confidence can be linked to physical factors such as nutrition, obesity, blood pressure and more.

Healthy hobbies can, therefore, be defined as any hobbies that have a positive impact on your physical or psychological well-being. A key aspect of your psychological wellbeing is confidence and self-esteem.

1. Meditation

There are many ways of taking up meditation. It may be included as part of a yoga or tai chi class. It’s often a feature of mindfulness training.

There are many different traditions of meditation with a variety of approaches and techniques.

Some traditions emphasize visualization, repeating mantras or chanting. These approaches may work by occupying or filling the mind in order to exclude negative or unhelpful thoughts.

Other approaches emphasize the emptying of the mind. The focus with this approach is on your own breathing, self-examination, and awareness.

These techniques can be helpful by inducing relaxation, reduced anxiety and feelings of wellbeing. Low self-esteem and lack of confidence can arise from difficulty with being anxious or relaxed. Mindfulness practice such as meditation has been proven to have beneficial effects on self-esteem.

2. Creative Arts

Art therapy has long been used to assist people with a range of health issues. It can provide a distraction from worries and anxiety but it may do much more.

Expressing thoughts and feelings through creative art can be a release for your emotions. Communicating through visual arts, writing or even dance might be easier for you than discussing your feelings or engaging with people in other ways.

There is a boost to self-esteem and confidence that comes from learning a new skill and successfully expressing yourself. It’s only a short step to realizing that success in one area of your life could be followed by success in another.

3. Yoga

Yoga can start simply with a beginner’s class. As your flexibility and knowledge grow you can quickly perform more difficult positions. At the same time as your physical capability develops you also develop your breathing control and some mental techniques.

Breath control is very closely linked to anxiety and confidence. Anxiety and stress are associated with shallow and ineffective breathing. Better breath control has the effect of calming the body and mind and helps confidence for example with speaking in public and dealing with conflict.

4. Study

Not everybody has had a positive experience of education. Deep-seated negative feelings can arise out of poor academic performance and bullying in school. These experiences may have turned you off academic study in later life.

Learning as an adult is not the same as learning in school. Learning can be a hobby that rebuilds lost confidence by helping you see yourself as someone who can acquire new skills and achieve good academic results.

5. Travel

Taking yourself out of your normal life can be an opportunity to try out new versions of yourself with no risk to existing relationships. Traveling, especially solo traveling, lets you do this.

Try a short solo trip. You have to interact with people to arrange accommodation, use transportation, and dine out.

Successfully doing this can build your confidence in your independence and self-sufficiency. This can then spill over into your home, work, and social relationships.

6. Cooking

Building self-confidence is sometimes about building a belief in your own capability and valuing that capability. Mastering the cooking arts can help build that confidence.

Share the fruits of your cooking labors with others by taking cakes into work or having people around for meals. People tend to be appreciative guests and it’s a great boost to your self-esteem to be praised for your food.

7. Volunteering for Community Work

Try volunteering in your community. There are always opportunities to do this on a small or large scale. Help at a thrift store, coach little league or visit elders.

Giving something back to your community has several benefits for your self-esteem. You can feel good about your contribution to society and others. Also, it is beneficial to your confidence to take your attention away from yourself and your concerns and turn your attention to others.

8. Music and Singing

Mastering new skills are good for your self-esteem but music can do more than this. Performing takes a special kind of confidence. Sometimes people who have difficulties with their confidence in part of their life can find the confidence to perform music.

If this seems too much of a stretch, try singing in a choir. The experience of singing with others can be both uplifting and life-affirming. The shared challenge of singing in a group tends to make everybody supportive and encouraging.

9. Martial Arts

Martial arts are a fun group learning experience. Nobody is expected to be a black belt from the start and in fact, many martial arts are built on a model of gradual development at your pace. As you progress through the stages or belts you have a sense of achievement and growing confidence that translates into everyday life.

It’s a great feeling to think that you have a skill that your family and friends don’t have. More than that, you could probably kick their buts too!

10. Public Speaking

There are classes in public speaking. This is a skill many people need for work, college, and even in everyday life from time to time. Yet, public speaking is something many people are frightened to do.

Public speaking classes recognize that building confidence is key to successful public speaking. As a result, an emphasis is given to developing confidence building techniques such as visualization, breathing exercises, and affirmation. Try it and you’ll find it helps in other aspects of your life too.

Build Confidence and Self-Esteem

Take time to develop your emotional wellbeing and it will reap rewards. Build confidence by taking up the best hobbies to build self-esteem. Have fun and feel better.

Here are some more ideas to improve self-esteem.

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7 Ways Exercise Can Boost Your Self-Esteem

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85 percent of people worldwide say they have low self-esteem. This epidemic affects families, relationships, careers, and confidence.

Low self-esteem can lead to depression and a risk of suicide in some people.

Luckily, there’s one easy solution that makes a world of difference: exercise. Moving the body and breaking a sweat have proven benefits for confidence and self worth. And, exercise covers tons of different activities; there’s one for everyone.

If you want to boost self-esteem for yourself or a loved one, keep reading. Here are seven ways exercise raises self worth and confidence.

1. You Feel Accomplished

How do you feel when you finish a project or reach a goal? You feel accomplished, proud, and satisfied.

These feelings all contribute to a higher self worth. Completing a challenge shows that you are capable and strong. You have what it takes.

Exercise is a channel to grow to those feelings. Setting the goal to work out three times a week is a good starting place. After that first week, you gain momentum to keep going.

Every time you complete a workout, you feel pride and are in awe of your body. Self esteem increases when we appreciate our bodies and believe in our abilities. No matter how “gross” you thought your body was, you can’t deny that it’s powerful.

2. You Get Stronger

Speaking of how powerful our bodies are, exercising makes you stronger. Even if you only do it a couple of times per week, your muscles are getting stronger.

Some workouts are specifically meant for improving strength. If this is a goal, consider trying HIIT classes at a gym or kickboxing. Weight lifting is also great for growing muscle.

No matter what exercise you do, your muscles benefit. And, when you feel your body getting stronger you feel stronger emotionally. If your body can do it, why can’t your mind?

There’s also a value in getting stronger because you can defend yourself. Knowing that you could protect yourself against an attacker is very liberating. It makes you feel empowered and more confident.

3. Stress Decreases

Five minutes of aerobic activity can decrease feelings of anxiety and stress. What would your life look like with less stress and anxiety?

Stress comes from all different types of pressure. Our jobs, relationships, health, and self-esteem all cause stress. Exercising puts a wedge in the low-self-esteem/high-stress cycle.

For some, exercise is a way to release excess emotions, like anger and anxiety. Boxing, interval running, and yoga are all useful forms of exercise for anxiety.

Yoga also has benefits for stress. It teaches you to breathe through your emotions, validate them and watch them pass.

When you decrease the stress in your life, there’s less pressure to be perfect. It allows you to accept yourself and understand that life is a journey. We are all works in progress.

4. Clearer Thinking

A good sweat session improves blood circulation and increases the hippocampus. The hippocampus is a part of the brain that handles memory and learning.

Have you ever noticed how alert and awake you feel after working out? It’s like the brain fog clears and you can process your thoughts easier.

Low self-esteem can be a result of negative thought processes. Instead of arguing that inner voice, we give in because it’s easier. When you have a clear mind, you can use logic and rationality.

After exercising, it’s easier to tell that inner voice it’s wrong. You can point to A, B, and C reasons that you’re a worthy person. Exercise clears the fog in your brain so you can see how great you are.

5. Improves Your Mood

The brain produces a hormone called beta-endorphins. These hormones make you feel optimistic, open, and happy. They also lower stress and reduce symptoms of depression.

You can jumpstart the production of beta-endorphins by exercising. People who enjoy running call this the “runner’s high”. After a good workout, they feel happier and more confident.

Low self esteem is a symptom of a negative mindset; the cup is always half empty. When you have a regular production of endorphins from exercise, the glass is half full.

Self esteem improves when we change our mindsets to one of positivity. Positive thinking fuels positive feelings; it’s a self-fulfilling cycle.

6. Causes Physical Changes

Your self esteem does not depend on how small or big you are. Many people believe that if that only lose those extra pounds, they’ll be happy.

But, that isn’t true. When you have low self-esteem, you’ll always find things about yourself that you need to fix. You focus on the final product instead of the journey to get there.

Working out will lead to a change in your body. These changes, like muscle definition, can be encouraging on your journey. It’s important that you also notice how you feel on the inside when you workout, though.

It’s exciting to see physical changes in our bodies. But, remember that your mindset strongly affects self esteem in the long run.

7. Introduces You to a Support System

Joining an awesome fitness center allows you to meet people in the same boat as you. You’re surrounded by others who know that exercising feels good.

When you exercise in groups, you feel less alone. You aren’t the only one that has low self esteem; it seems like a human condition these days.

Support systems build your self esteem because you see others believing in themselves. Your instructors believe in you because you’re worthy. When you fall off the horse, these people will help you get back on.

Don’t hesitate to find a supportive group of people on your self esteem journey.

Ready to Boost Self-Esteem with Exercise?

Low self-esteem is an issue that affects people from every country at every age. Everyone struggles with stress, pressure, and self-doubt.

Exercise reduces these negative feelings and can boost self-esteem.

You can start the journey to better self-confidence by exercising. Learn about different exercises that will give you a boost. You are worth investing in your health; don’t let your inner voice tell you otherwise.

7 Bad Habits That are Killing Your Self-Esteem

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Did you know that 85% of us struggle with low self-esteem?

This lack of confidence can negatively impact every area of a person’s life. While some sources of low self-esteem are deep-rooted, others are the product of bad habits.

Whether you struggle with negative feelings or you’re concerned about a loved one, take the time to read through this list of self-esteem killing habits.

Could one (or more) of these be contributing to the problem?

1. Setting Unrealistic Goals

Do you want to lose weight, land your dream job, or climb Mount Everest?

Those are all amazing goals. But in order to achieve them, you’ve got to break them down into smaller, more manageable pieces.

If you try to lose 40 pounds in 4 weeks or expect to make a million dollars right out of college, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. The result? Your self-esteem takes a major hit–and you quickly give up on your goal.

Before you set out to climb Everest, try hitting the gym regularly and competing in some local 10Ks. Little by little, you can work toward your ultimate goal (and feel great about yourself in the process).

2. Comparing Yourself to Others

One of the fastest ways to kill your confidence is to compare yourself to your friends, family, and colleagues.

Research has already proved that kids today can experience low self-esteem from spending too much time on social media. The same is true of adults.

Shining snapshots of our friends’ lives make it seem like they have it all. Soon we get into the mindset that everyone is doing “better” than we are–better vacations, better homes, better clothes.

We can also fall into the bad habit of comparing ourselves to colleagues at work. Or maybe you have a sibling or close friend who seems more successful in business or in their personal life.

If you want to improve your self-esteem, stop focusing on what everyone else has accomplished. You’ll never get around to accomplishing your own goals!

3. Not Forgiving Yourself

Do you spend a lot of time dwelling on the past? Do you focus more on mistakes you made than on what you hope to achieve tomorrow, next week, or 10 years from now?

Letting go can be a challenge, especially if you feel you’ve made some serious mistakes. But dwelling on those mistakes indefinitely will only lead to feelings of blame, regret, and failure.

The result? You get stuck in a pattern of negative thinking, and this self-defeatist attitude prevents you from moving forward.

Let yourself off the hook. Learn from your mistakes and be determined to put them behind you. Then read some self-esteem quotes, dust yourself off, and focus on (a more positive) future.

4. Letting Fear Dictate Your Life

As FDR famously said, “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important.”

We’re all afraid of something. It’s part of being human. When you have low self-esteem, though, it’s easy to let this fear hold you back.

It’s often easier to say, “It’s too hard,” or “I don’t know how to do that.” When fear rules your life, you use it as an excuse not to try anything new. The more time that passes without working toward any goals, the lower your self-esteem will sink.

Think about this: What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? Travel to a foreign place? Start your own business? Learn a new language or skill?

Whatever you have in mind, learn to rephrase that negative thinking with a more positive thought. Instead of saying, “It’s too hard,” try, “How can I make this happen? What’s the first step?”

5. Trying to Please Everybody (All the Time)

Not having personal or professional boundaries is another sure way to lower your self-esteem. If you’re a people pleaser who never says “no” to anyone, you’ll eventually run out of time for yourself.

When that happens, you’ll feel as if your life is spiraling out of control. What’s important to you will be shoved to the backburner and (you guessed it) your self-esteem will suffer.

Yes, there will be occasions when you need to work overtime or do a favor for a friend. But when it becomes a habit, you’ll end up frustrated, scatter-brained, and stressed out.

Break this habit by learning how to say “no.” Practice in front of a mirror if you have to. Set clear boundaries about your time with family members and work colleagues–and then stick to them.

6. Physical or Mental Laziness

Lacking confidence in yourself and the way you look? The surest way to perpetuate that cycle is to sit on the couch and do nothing about it.

Research proves that exercise improves mood and self-esteem while fighting social withdrawal tendencies. It also provides a rush of feel-good endorphins and leaves you with a great sense of accomplishment.

The same can be said for not exercising your mind. If you’re feeling down, the easiest thing to do is plop down in front of the television or mindlessly scroll through your phone.

Even when you’re tired, take a few minutes to actively engage your brain. Read a few pages of a book (an actual book) or spend a few minutes practicing a new skill. You might also try meditation or mindfulness and focus your attention on positive thoughts.

7. Constantly Criticizing Yourself

A final bad habit many with low self-esteem fall victim to is negative self-talk.

How many times a day do you think something like:

  • “You’re too fat.”
  • “You’ll never be good enough.”
  • “You’re such an idiot.”
  • “You can’t do anything right.”

If these phrases are a daily part of your thinking pattern, guess what? You’ll believe them–and your self-esteem will become even worse.

Work hard to eliminate such negative thoughts from your mind. Replace them with positive, reinforcing thoughts like, “I respect my body” or “I did well on that task.”

Improve Low Self-Esteem Today

As you can see, bad habits play a large role in low self-esteem.

If you identified any of these habits in yourself, take action to cultivate a more positive mindset. You’re sure to see good results if you do.

Looking for more advice on improving your self-esteem? Click here.

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7 Tips to Help Your Child Build Positive Self Esteem

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Self-esteem, or lack thereof, is a widely discussed topic in schools during the teenage years. For good reason, as poor self-esteem in both boys and girls can lead to negative consequences.

75% of girls reporting low self-esteem also report engaging in things such as drinking, smoking, and cutting. While mostly viewed as a female issue, young boys also grapple with self-worth.

Challenges to self-esteem are nearly synonymous with the adolescent experience. But there are things you can do to ensure your own children build positive self-esteem early in life to carry them through later challenges.

Eager to help your child as much as possible? Keep reading below for seven helpful tips to help grow their self-esteem.

1. Don’t Over Praise

Most parents will express that their child is “beyond their age” or “the next famous scientist.” While it’s good to praise and show endless love to our children, over-praising can lead to problems.

Self-esteem can be viewed as a mixture of feeling secure, loved, and competent. Competence requires time to develop.

If young children are always told they are the best or did the best job they could, they may lose some drive to better themselves. Essentially as they age, they may not be good at failing or learning how to improve a skill.

A helpful tip is to praise your kids as they work on something, not just the final version. Say they are doing a school poser project. Don’t wait until they finish to compliment it.

During the process make note of how hard they are working. Maybe compliment them on how they chose colors. Especially praise them if they ran into issues, but found a way to overcome.

2. Allow Risk-Taking

We aren’t talking about letting your 8-year old go sky-diving. But it is important to let your children explore and take risks so they learn to step outside their comfort zone.

Let your children make decisions for themselves and stand aside even if you know something may go wrong (within reason of course). A good example is if you see your child carrying a bunch of carrots on a flimsy plate with one hand.

Even if you see the food start to fall, don’t make a saving lunge. Let them see what happened, take steps to remedy the situation, or ask you for help.

3. Be a Role Model for Them

Children mirror what they see in parents. If you are struggling with self-esteem, it will be even more difficult to foster positive growth in your children.

Don’t feel embarrassed, you are not alone. Around 85% of Americans deal with low self-esteem at one point or another. So much so that it can greatly impact our professional lives.

Even if you don’t verbalize what is going on, kids will pick up on it. It’s been found that kids are influenced more by actions and body language than what they hear. Especially if they aren’t congruent.

This means even if you respond you’re doing well when they ask, they will pick up on your heavy sighs. They will notice when you seem sad. Do your best to show your children how to cope with stress and work through issues.

4. Provide Feedback for Positive Self-Esteem

It probably feels mean, but as alluded to above, it’s better to openly talk to kids rather than falsely inflate their ego. Providing feedback on how they are doing something, especially when they ask, can be a great thing.

Just remember not to do it in a shaming or critical way. If their room is messy, don’t yell “Why do you always leave your room a mess?”

Instead, highlight the current facts and suggest a solution. “You have clothes lying on the floor. Once you clean them up, you can go play outside.”

This type of statement is likely to spur them to actually do the clean. But it will so help them remember to keep their room tidy in the future.

5. Teach About Growth

Negative thoughts can take hold in children and guide their self-worth for years to come. It’s important to instill a growth mentality so they understand and believe they will improve and evolve over time.

Keeping children out of a fixed mindset is important. This is a mindset where they would believe they are as good as they are going to get no matter what they do. Many adults think like this regarding financial situations, fitness goals, etc.

6. Show How to Learn from Mistakes

To encourage a growth mindset, teaching your child how to learn from mistakes is key. Kids need to know it is okay to fail. They also need to know how to recover from failures.

Tell your kids to think about what they will do next time to avoid the situation they are in. For example, your kid forgot to shut a fence door and the dog escapes.

Don’t get angry. Say, “You forgot to shut the door and our dog could have been hurt. Next time double check the door when you come and go.”

7. Encourage Diverse Hobbies and Activities

One final step you can take to help your child have good self-esteem is to encourage or suggest a few hobbies. Not every child is going to excel at school.

When a child isn’t involved in another activity, they may start to think they aren’t good at anything. If they like music, offer to take them to a children’s choir. Maybe they like being active. Try finding a sport that suits them.

If they don’t seem to be interested in a specific activity, you can try these self-esteem activities. The best part is that some can be done together, with you and other family members.

Watch Your Child Blossom with Confidence

It can be scary thinking how much positive self-esteem your child will have as they grow older. The most important thing to remember is to love your child and give them the freedom and power to conquer issues in their own way.

As long as you are there to support them when they need it, everything will be okay.

Worried your child already has low self-esteem? Check out these few tips for helping them.

low self esteem disorder

Defining Low Self Esteem Disorder: Why It’s Important For Mental Health

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4 out of 5 women suffer from low self-esteem disorder, and it’s not just the women. Low self-esteem is on the rise throughout the country thanks to advertising, social media, and daily messages.

Unfortunately, due to how widespread this disorder is, it is commonly overlooked and goes without action. It’s important to know that low self-esteem can take a dramatic toll on your career, romantic relationships, and social life.

Low-self esteem also has the potential to lead to other serious conditions, even addiction. Read on to learn more about low self esteem disorder, it’s symptoms and how to turn it around.

What is Low Self Esteem Disorder

Low self-esteem disorder prevents those who suffer from it from seeing themselves in a clear and healthy light. The condition is embedded within negative self-talk and a disbelief of being worthy or deserving. While low-self esteem has been a known problem in the US for years, media and businesses continue to use marketing that encourages self-doubt.

As a result of low self-esteem, many individuals also hold a low sense of self-worth. This can lead to poor decisions due to the individual believing they are undeserving of things like love, financial stability, or even physical safety.

Important Signs and Symptoms

There is a wide range of symptoms when it comes to low self-esteem disorder. These symptoms include but are not limited to:

  • Negative self-talk
  • The inability to accept comments
  • Constant comparison of self and others
  • Bouts of Anger
  • Jealousy
  • Being very territorial
  • Depression
  • Substance abuse
  • Eating disorders
  • Inability to complete tasks
  • Anxiety

Causes of Low Self Esteem Disorder

Low self-esteem disorder could have a number of causes, however, the most common is false beliefs based on negative messages we were given early on. This could be something as harsh as verbal abuse or something as simple as constantly being compared to a sibling.

Over time, these messages spoken by others becomes the message in our own head. Unfortunately, the message only grows and we find ourselves believing we are unworthy of love, success or happiness.

How Low Self Esteem Disorder Can Affect Your Career

One of the strongest factors of success within a career field is confidence in your abilities and your value. With a confident, secure relationship within yourself, you are able to make solid decisions and turn to others for assistance when needed without it hitting a sore spot within the psyche.

For example, a raise is much more likely to go towards someone with the confidence to request it and the security to present the reasons why they deserve it than to someone who doesn’t believe they themselves deserve it.

How Low Self Esteem Disorder Can Affect Your Relationships

Insecurity, jealousy, and possessiveness can be poison even to the healthiest of relationships. Unfortunately, these feelings and emotions are common experiences for someone with low self-esteem.

Since someone experiencing low self-esteem often feels undeserving of love or a healthy relationship, they will subconsciously take actions to sabotage it even if they are truly happy. The effects of the psyche are so strong that the subconscious will do whatever is necessary to prove itself correct. It wants to prove that it is undeserving of a fulfilling relationship.

How Low Self Esteem Links to Other Disorders

Low self-esteem disorder is an easy link to other psychological issues. Since those with low self-esteem are regularly playing a track self-doubt and self-loathing in their mind, it’s only a matter of time before those seeds begin to grow.

Other disorders commonly linked to low self-esteem include depression, anxiety, extreme anger, paranoia, and eating disorders. The common thread within each of these disorders is the feeling of being “not enough”.

Low self-esteem is often misdiagnosed as ADD as the individual will quickly switch their focus if the subject they are focusing on increases their feeling of inadequacy.

Addiction

One condition that can evolve as a result of low self-esteem is the struggle with addiction. Lack of support, love, and encouragement at a young age can create a stronghold of negative energy that can be difficult to undo.

Unfortunately, the feelings of never being good enough can allow individuals to turn to substance abuse as the answer. In addition to using addictive substances and behaviors to reduce the feelings of low self-esteem, it’s easy to turn to such options when you already feel that no one cares for you and you have nothing to lose.

Building Self Esteem

Fortunately, there are actions that can be taken to build or rebuild one’s self-esteem. These actions include:

Avoiding negative self-talk

While it may seem difficult at first, removing the negative talk and replacing it with words of love and encouragement can make a vast difference. This could mean getting rid of someone in your life who constantly talks down to you or simply repeating some positive affirmations.

Consider what’s affecting your self-esteem

Whether it’s through journaling or speaking with a therapist, taking time to find the root of your low self-esteem can make a huge difference in your ability to rebuild it. The important thing is that you don’t get stuck on the why. Once you know the source of your feelings start working towards a solution rather than dwelling on the past.

Remove Negative Influencers

Whether it’s friends that make you feel bad about yourself or social media that causes you to constantly compare yourself to others, it’s important to remove such influencers while going through the healing process.

Taking the Right Actions

By being aware of your negative thoughts, seeking support, and incorporating the right self-esteem exercises each day, you have the power to stop your low self esteem disorder.

We suggest starting with our 50 Ways to Untwist Your Thinking as a starter guide to conquering low-self esteem and taking your life back.

self-esteem quotes

19 Self-Esteem Quotes That Will Make You Smile

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Have you ever looked at somebody with complete adoration, appreciation, and awe? Have you ever loved someone even through their bad times? Always believed in their character and who they were?

Have you ever considered making that person yourself?

It’s easy to see great things in others, and much harder to find the good within ourselves. As Maya Angelou said, “The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself.” But at the end of the day, you should be your biggest priority!

Low self-esteem isn’t limited to any one kind of person. Even CEOs of billion-dollar companies worry about “being found out” and “losing it all.”

We could all use a positive attitude boost every once in a while. If that’s how you’re feeling today, don’t sweat it. Confidence is within your reach!

Check out some of these inspiring self-esteem quotes in the meantime!

1. Don’t Doubt the Universe

“the universe took its time on you
crafted you precisely
so you could offer the world
something distinct from everyone else
so when you doubt
how you were created
you doubt an energy greater than us both”

Poet Rupi Kaur explains that self-doubt is detrimental to the Universe’s divine plan.

2. Love Yourself First

Rupi Kaur hits the nail on the head again. Check out this beautiful, short poem about treating yourself with love.

“how you love yourself
is how you teach others
to love you”

3. Forgive Yourself

Playwright August Wilson offers some advice for getting through the dark times.

“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing.”

4. Advice from a Starlet

“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.”

Marilyn Monroe understood that every person is unique. Envying another’s existence is a waste of your own!

5. One Step at a Time

Author Laurie Halse Anderson wrote: “There is no magic cure, no making it all go away forever. There are only small steps upward; an easier day, an unexpected laugh, a mirror that doesn’t matter anymore.”

So if you’re feeling like self-love is taking its time, that’s okay. Have patience with yourself. It will come.

6. “Self Confidence Is the Best Outfit.”

We don’t know who said this quote, but we agree. Self-love never goes out of style!

7. We Are Everything

Ralph Waldo Emerson wants us to look within ourselves for all the power we need. “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”

8. Self Love Isn’t Selfish!

Author Parker Palmer had to learn this, too. “Self-care is never a selfish act–it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others.”

9. Learn to Value Yourself

As if you could make the top of the Forbes list!

“Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.” And if we’re going to trust anyone to explain value, it’s the entrepreneur Malcom S. Forbes.

10. Strength and Resilience

Being confident doesn’t mean displaying your strength 24/7. Sometimes your strength is lying in wait until the moment when you really need it. Eleanor Roosevelt said, “A woman is like a tea bag. You never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.”

11. Enjoy Your Company

Because if you don’t enjoy your own, how can you expect someone else to?

Eclectic fashion designer Diane von Furstenberg says, “You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.” And we agree.

12. Be in Love with Yourself

Because after all, as Oscar Wilde put it, “To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”

13. The Psychology of Love

Psychiatrist Carl Gustav Jung said, “Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”

14. Take a Trip

To the land of self-love. . . or the valley of change.

Take it from inspirational author Shannon L. Adler. “Every woman that finally figured out her worth, has picked up her suitcases of pride and boarded a flight to freedom, which landed in the valley of change.”

15. No Substitute for Love

This is why even CEOs and celebrities can suffer from bouts of low self-esteem. Because even riches cannot replace the feelings induced by love.

Teacher Gary Zukav says: “Scarcity of self-value cannot be remedied by money, recognition, affection, attention or influence.”

16. “You Yourself, as Much as Anybody in the Entire Universe, Deserve Your Love and Affection.”

And who doesn’t trust what Buddha has to say?

17. Take It from the Relationship Consultant

Barbara De Angelis says a good relationship with yourself leads to a better relationship with another.

“If you aren’t good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you’ll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren’t even giving to yourself.”

18. One Last Rupi Kaur Quote

“if you were born with
the weakness to fall
you were born with
the strength to rise”

So even when you’re down and out – you still have the gumption to get back up. Try it!

19. Love Your Shadows

Because we’re walking in and out of the light and the dark until the day we die. So we may as well learn to love them both. Our complexities add to our allure!

“I am not looking to escape my darkness. I’m learning to love myself here.”

Poet Rune Lazuli is learning to love the darkness.

Self-Esteem Quotes for Anyone – Any Time

Next time, don’t wait until you’re feeling low before reaching out. Take preventative measures to keep your mental health in check.

Self-esteem is something we learn to develop as children. That means that no matter how young or old you may be, you can benefit from a healthy dose of self-esteem quotes.

Want to keep riding the confidence train? Check out these 5 simple but effective methods for boosting self-esteem!

yoga for confidence

The Benefits of Yoga for Confidence and Self-Esteem

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When you look at social media and magazine covers, it’s hard not to feel bad about yourself. We constantly get told that we aren’t thin enough, thick enough, or good enough.

Combatting these messages takes strength and immense self-esteem. How can you build your self-esteem and become more confident?

One of the best ways to increase confidence is by practicing yoga. Yoga benefits your mind, body, and spirit and it elevates self-worth. To learn how you can use yoga for confidence, keep reading.

1. It’s Self-Soothing

Those moments of self-doubt and low self-esteem are hard on our souls. We often feel unstable, unhappy, and in distress.

One of the best purposes for yoga is to self-soothe.

Self-soothing is the practice of calming the mind and allowing your heart to heal. It’s about allowing yourself grace and patience to pause your emotions. When you self-soothe, you pause those negative feelings and start to think clearer.

The most powerful self-soothing yoga position is Child’s Pose. In this pose, you kneel on the ground and sit back on your heels. Your big toes should be touching, and your knees should be hip-width apart.

Fold forward and stretch your palms as far as you can in front of you. With your palms facing the floor, relax your neck and torso between your knees. Breathe deeply and slowly as you sink into the ground.

As you practice Child’s Pose, imagine the space between your torso and the ground as “safe space”. There’s no judgment and no negativity allowed. You are safe to look objectively at yourself and see the value within.

2. Learn to Slow Down

Have you ever noticed how fast those feelings of self-judgment appear? You’ll be scrolling through your feed, see an image, and feel inferior. Sometimes it’s subconscious, other times it’s at the forefront of your mind.

Yoga for confidence and self-esteem is about slowing down those impulsive thoughts.

Although your first thoughts may be negative, deep down you know they’re not true. You need to learn to create time and space between those thoughts so you can decide how you want to feel. Your first response emotions come from a place of fear, not self-esteem.

One position that trains you to slow down is Crow Pose. This pose can seem scary and unattainable at first. But, after lots of practice and patience, you can do it.

By starting with the foundational steps, you break the pose down. You start small and at the beginning. Slowly, you accomplish harder and harder steps until you’re upside down in Crow Pose.

3. See Beauty in Uniqueness

There’s one message that almost every yoga teacher will want you to hear: it’s okay to be different. It’s okay to love yourself and embrace your uniqueness.

Many first-time yogis feel intimidated by the more advanced students in their class. But, your practice isn’t about what others are doing. Keep your eyes on your own mat because this is about you.

Yoga teaches you that your body is beautiful and capable. It’s been on a completely unique and individual journey to bring you to the mat today. What makes you different makes you worthy and beautiful.

If you’re using yoga for confidence, focus on turning your practice inward. It’s not about anyone else in the room.

4. Find a Supportive Community

One of the best parts of joining a yoga class is the community you become a part of. The people in your class have all discovered how uplifting and life-giving yoga is. You’re surrounded by people who “get it”.

Yoga teaches you to see the beauty in others as well as in yourself. In a world where our first impressions are judgmental, retraining that pattern is hard. But, consistent yoga will help you see the positive before the negative.

Even if you choose to practice yoga by yourself, the community online is strong. There are always fellow yogis happy to encourage, empower, and support you.

5. It Builds Self-Respect

Do you have trouble treating yourself well because you feel that you don’t deserve it? You’re not alone. Low-self esteem has a wicked way of preventing us from doing things that will bring joy.

Practicing yoga can be your first step to acceptance and self-love.

Your first few sessions may be basic and easy to do. You’ll likely do poses like Tree Pose, Pigeon Pose, and Warrior II. But, as you continue to practice, your skills will increase.

Seeing the growth in your practice is exciting. It proves that you can do awesome things. And, that you deserve to feel good.

Set a goal for your yoga practice. One day, you’ll be able to do a pose that you can’t right now. Working towards accomplishing it will build self-esteem and self-respect.

6. Learn Mindfulness

How many times have you tried to meditate and then given up? If you’re like most people, the answer is lots. Sometimes, we try to meditate when the results we desire can come from being mindful.

Mindfulness is the ability to be self-aware and in the present.

Low self-esteem often forces us to stay in the past. We dwell on things we’ve done wrong or how we looked at a recent social event.

Practicing yoga encourages you to also practice mindfulness. You don’t have to sit cross-legged and repeat the “om” sound. All you have to do is go through your yoga flow and focus on how each part of your body feels.

Being mindful of how you feel in the moment removes the stress you feel about the past. You are not your past; you are the present. And, in this moment, you feel great because you are great.

Interested in Learning More About Yoga for Confidence?

You don’t have to succumb to living with low self-esteem forever. Through different exercises, you can build your confidence and live a fulfilling life.

When doing yoga for confidence, focus on your own personal journey. Embrace the support you receive from the community. Remember that you deserve to feel good.

For more information on building your self-esteem and improving your confidence, check out the blog.

how to help a child with low self-esteem

How to Help a Child With Low Self-Esteem: 6 Simple Tips

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Do you hear your child saying negative things about themselves? Whether they’re crying about their intelligence, abilities, or appearances, it’s heartbreaking to see you child so upset.

We often think of low self-esteem as something that doesn’t start until the pre-teen years. However, it can happen much younger than that.

You may begin to feel helpless as you child battles their own feelings. But learning how to help a child with low self-esteem is possible.

Do you want to know more? Keep reading to discover six ways to help a child with low self-esteem.

1. Spend Some One-on-One Time with Them

Even the most confident people are bound to experience periods of low self-esteem throughout their life. Think about the last time you felt down about yourself. Did you want to vent to your best friend or spend some alone time with your partner?

A strong support system plays a huge role in helping children with low self-esteem. Spending some one-on-one time with your child is a great way to show them you’re always there to talk. It’ll strengthen your bond and give them a chance to tell you what’s wrong.

Once they learn to open up and express how they feel, it’ll be easier for you to help them overcome these emotions that are leading to low self-esteem. There are tons of great one-on-one ideas, so try to schedule regular sessions to help them.

2. Ask Questions

Have you ever felt so overwhelmed that you couldn’t figure out how to express your feelings? You head may have felt so jumbled that you couldn’t effectively organize your thoughts.

Imagine how hard this task would be for a child. When your child comes to you with low self-esteem, be sure to ask them questions about how they feel. Not only will it show that you care, but it will help them organize their thoughts and become better at communicating complex emotions.

Even if you think you know why they are upset, it’s important to let them reach that conclusion on their own. Allowing them to explore their feelings is a good way to build self-esteem in children. After all, how can you solve a problem if you don’t know what exactly the problem is?

3. Don’t Punish Them

Let’s say your child is crying and saying they’re stupid because they failed a test at school. You remember telling them to study for days leading up to the test, but you caught them playing games in their room instead. You may be tempted to punish them for not studying or say, “If you would have studied like I said, you would’ve done better!”

However, saying “I told you so” or punishing kids with low self-esteem won’t help anything. Instead, help them problem solve. Bring up a positive example from their past, such as saying, “remember that math test last week? You studied for 30 minutes every night and did that extra credit worksheet to prepare, and you aced it!”

Reminding them of that will help boost their confidence and reinforce positive behaviors. This paired with helping them problem solve will show that they aren’t stupid – they just made a mistake, and everyone makes mistakes sometimes.

4. Be Empathic

When you hear your child speaking poorly of themselves, your first instinct is probably to gush and rave about how amazing they are. Although compliments are a good way to build self-esteem in children, you shouldn’t rely on them to help your child feel better.

Instead, you should focus on using empathy. Expressing that you understand how they’re feeling and sharing a similar story from your past will help them connect with you and feel as though they aren’t alone.

5. Avoid Comparing Kids

Have you ever caught yourself saying things like “why can’t you keep your room clean like your sister?” It may seem like a small way to convince your child to clean their room but over time it can contribute to low self-esteem in children.

You probably won’t remember every time you say something like this, but your children will. They’ll begin to feel as though they aren’t as good as their siblings and may believe that their sibling is the “favorite” child.

Instead, you should be sure to compliment each child on their specific strengths. Not only will this help boost their self-esteem, but it’ll help them shape their own identity too.

6. Give Them Control

Does your child seem unsure of themselves every time they have to make a decision? It may be because they don’t have enough opportunities to do this in their daily life.

If you do everything for your child, they may become less confident in their abilities. Thoughts like, “I can’t do this – you do it for me” may become more common as they get older, which can lead to kids with low self-esteem.

Instead, let your child pick out their outfit for the day and let them tie their own shoes without being rushed. With time, they’ll learn to be confident in their decisions and abilities, and it will boost their self-esteem.

How to Help a Child with Low Self-Esteem

If you have a child with low self-esteem you may not know what to do. But, learning how to help a child with low self-esteem is easier than you think. Just follow our tips to help build self-esteem in children, so your kids are happier and more confident than ever.

Did you find this article helpful? Please visit our blog for more self-esteem posts like this.