You don’t always have to agree with your kids when you listen to them, nor let them do whatever they want. You can have a different view on a situation and still understand their perspective. And you may still have to discipline them even if you better understand why they misbehaved.
You should structure situations so your children experience more success than failure. Don’t expect standards of performance which they cannot achieve. You want them to grow up with far more praise than criticism, more accomplishments than failures this helps build self esteem.
Let your children know they are lovable and capable. Again, this is a self-evident principle and helps build self esteem. You should give your children daily expressions of affection – hugs, kisses, words of love, praise and appreciation. Think of them as cups of love which you want to fill with as much caring as you can.
Provide security for them. Children need to feel secure this is very important in building and maintaining self esteem. Few feel secure when there are conflicts occurring around them. Few can relax inwardly when others around them are shouting, accusing, criticizing and hating each other. To a small child, tension between parents, or between parents and the child or other children, constitute a deep chasm of insecurity. Plus, they may end up blaming themselves for the conflicts around them.
Avoid arguing around them as much as possible. If they do see conflict, make sure they also see resolution of the conflict. Not everything in life is peaches and cream and problems do arise. People will argue – it’s a fact of life. The important part here is that the child sees a peaceful resolution in the end. This will teach them problem solving skills and help them realize that even though there is conflict in the world, there is also a way to resolve it in ways that everyone benefits from. Self Esteem.
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