removing toxic people from your life

Why Removing Toxic People From Your Life Will Boost Your Self Esteem

Some days, it’s enough to just get one foot in front of the other. When you have someone in your life who constantly makes those steps harder, it’s a wonder we even have the ability to leave the house.

We work at getting the toxins out of our bodies. We watch what we eat and cut back on alcohol. We are very conscious of taking care of the toxins released into the environment. What about us? What about our mental spaces?

Removing toxic people from your life can make a huge difference in your self-worth. Being chastised or put down all the time becomes what we expect. But we shouldn’t.

If it seems impossible to get toxic people out of your life, it isn’t. Here are a few ways to get started and the benefits you can expect.

Identify The Toxins

Just like leaded gas or weed killer, we need to identify the people who make us feel bad. Once you identify who, you will have a better insight into the why.

Who

When you go out with friends or return home from a family gathering feeling worse, that’s the place to start.

Feelings of dread before a social function, work or school can all be signs you have someone toxic in your life. Take a moment to ask yourself why you feel this way and why you don’t want to see them.

Why

Family members can be the worst culprits. Life-long jealousies and rivalries never leave. Whether it’s a co-worker or friend, look at what they are doing to make you feel bad and why.

They could have a horrid home life, bad marriage or just be a negative person. The ‘glass half empty’ people don’t realize, the glass can always be filled up. The way they treat you has nothing to do with you.

It’s Not You, It’s Them

The most important thing you will realize is it’s not you. It’s all on them. You don’t need to understand the reason behind their bad behavior and attitude. They lash out at you mostly because they can.

It could be jealousy, it could be that they see you as an easy target or they are petty. It doesn’t matter. All you need to do is recognize them for what they are and start making moves to get them out of your life.

Removing Toxic People From Your Life

It’s never going to be easy, but your well-being depends on it. Family, friends. co-workers all need to be removed or distanced from you. It’s not always easy to take people out of our lives completely.

Set Boundaries

This will be very helpful. Set the boundaries and stick to them. Toxic people tend to creep back in over time. You must be firm. Remove them from all your social media platforms, block their number and don’t respond to their communications.

Family

Tell them you have had enough and stop letting them take advantage of you. The strongest word you need is, “No”. No, you won’t babysit or drive them somewhere or lend them money.

Stop attending family gatherings and tell them why you are not coming. When it comes to major holidays, you will have to decide for yourself if it’s worth it. Don’t engage unless absolutely necessary.

Friends

The toxic friends are not really friends at all. Cut them loose. We often get saddled with these people through other friends or work relationships. Their poison starts slowly, taking advantage of you, wanting favors or slowly chipping away at your self-esteem.

These types of people are not your friend. The sooner you are rid of them, the better. Don’t be afraid to tell them what you think of them and why you are no longer going to associate with them.

You don’t need to be mean; just honest. Whether they know what they are doing is hurtful is beside the point. You put your foot down and stop their behavior towards you.

Co-Workers

This can be a trickier area, as you have to see these people every day. They often get you to do their job, slack off while you do the work or expect you to lie for them.

Setting boundaries will stop their behavior towards you, and hopefully, others, as well. Tell them you will not cover for them, do their job or help them by doing favors.

They will need to do the work themselves or, more likely, try to leach on to someone else. You can also report them to management. If it is management that is doing it, go to the next level above them.

Benefits of Detoxifying

Getting these people out of your life will help you feel like a great weight has been lifted. Toxic people take their pleasure in destroying your self-esteem. You won’t feel guilty or bad because they won’t be there to make you feel that way.

Once you have removed them, it will be easier to recognize the next one coming and you’ll be able to stop them before they latch on to you. You will feel better about you and be pleased you were able to get them out of your life.

Taking care of yourself first is the most important step. Getting the negative people away from you makes the rest of it so much easier.

You’re Worth It

You deserve to be happy and live your life guilt-free. Removing toxic people from your life is a great place to start. It will free you from feeling bad about yourself because they won’t be there to do it.

We have enough hurdles in our lives. Why engage with people who don’t have our best interests at heart? You owe it to yourself to surround yourself with better people.

You will never all the toxins out of your life but you can make great improvements by getting rid of the toxic people. Once you do that, here are some great ways to rebuild your self-esteem.

low self-esteem in relationships

Your Guide to Loving Someone With Low Self Esteem

More people than ever before are struggling with low self esteem.

But if you’re dating someone who has a low opinion of themselves, you know that it doesn’t take long for their insecurities to start negatively impacting your relationship.

It can be tiring and frustrated to have to constantly build your partner up, only to have them knock themselves down again.

In this post, we’ll tell you how to help someone who hates themselves learn to see all the positive and fun attributes in themselves that you do when you look at them.

From celebrating minor accomplishments to taking the time to listen and let them vent, these techniques will make loving someone with low self esteem easier on both you and your partner.

1. Point out Their Positive Traits

The truth is that people with low esteem often don’t think that they’re good at anything.

They can even believe that they don’t have much to offer the world, which can lead to serious depression and even self-harm or suicide.

They may believe that no one will miss them when they’re gone, or they make just feel like they’re a burden on others.

In other words: low self esteem and extreme guilt often go hand in hand.

How can you help your partner with this?

By pointing out their positive traits, and highlighting the things that they’re good at.

Leave a note on the fridge that thanks them for fixing the porch light. Slip a handwritten card into their lunchbox or briefcase telling them how much their kind words meant to you.

You can compliment their looks, their abilities, their work performance, or even the smaller ways in which they help you around the house.

Whatever you choose to compliment, just make sure that you do it genuinely.

The element of surprise is good here, too.

Send unexpected flowers at work, mail them a letter without telling them, or even create a scavenger hunt where each clue contains a compliment.

2. Celebrate Their Accomplishments

When you’re dating someone with a lack of self confidence, or if you’re in a longterm relationship with someone with low self esteem, we know you want to help them.

But how can you learn how to boost someone’s confidence without coming across as patronizing?

Smaller celebrations when something good happens to them is an awesome place to start.

You don’t need to go all out, as they may not be comfortable with tons of attention or attending a huge party in their honor.

Instead, if they get a raise or promotion, or even just get through a tough meeting at work, bake them their favorite meal or buy cupcakes from a local bakery.

If you have children, have them make the person with low self esteem a card.

Take them to a movie, head out on a hike together, or do another celebratory activity when they accomplish something.

This lets them know that they’ve made you proud, and that they’ve accomplished something that deserves to be recognized and celebrated.

3. Be Patient with Them

When you want to learn how to help someone who hates themselves, we know that it can be frustrating to know that they don’t see all the amazing things that you see in them in themselves.

Often, their sense of self doubt can lead to fights — which will only make the person with low self esteem feel even worse about themselves.

One of the most important things to remember about loving someone with low self esteem is that patience is incredibly important.

It may take much more time than you initially expected for them to believe it when you tell them how much you love them or how hot you think they look.

This isn’t necessarily because they think you’re lying to them, but instead all circles back to those feelings of self-loathing and self doubt. Often, they just don’t feel worthy or that they “deserve” a loving partner.

Be willing to wait for them to understand that you’re not going anywhere.

When they’re experiencing an especially serious bout of depression and self esteem issues, remind them that you’re there to listen. You don’t even have to contradict them when they say bad things about themselves — though we know that you’ll want to.

Sometimes, just letting them speak and say what they think of themselves out loud can help them to realize how ridiculous they sound.

You can even share and reveal a few insecurities of your own with your low self esteem partner. Remind them that everyone, whether it’s the CEO of a major company or the woman behind them in line at the grocery store, deals with self esteem issues.

They’re certainly not alone.

Loving Someone with Low Self Esteem: How Else Can You Help?

We hope that this post has helped you to better understand the process of loving someone with low self esteem.

This post has illustrated that there are many things you can do to learn how to boost someone’s confidence.

At the end of the day, the person with a lack of confidence and a sense of self doubt will also need to take things into their own hands.

This is where we can help.

In addition to acting as a supportive partner, encourage them to take a look at our website. You may find the information on it is helpful to you, as well!

We offer more articles about how to improve your self esteem, exercises and activities to boost confidence, and much more.

Make this the year that you and your partner really celebrate yourselves.

confidence exercises

9 Effective Confidence Exercises That Improve Self Esteem

“Nobody is born with self-confidence”, says Denis Waitley, a famous U.S. motivational speaker, consultant, and writer.

If a person seems to have unbelievable self-confidence, it’s because they’ve worked on it for years. Self-confidence is something you build gradually. It’s an ongoing process that never ends.

A negative review online, a flat rejection by investors, or a refund request from a customer can all make our self-confidence plummet. Well-meaning but sometimes critical comments from our loved ones can also knock our self-belief.

What’s more, we have to confront our own inner critic that continually tells us we aren’t good enough. When overwhelmed by so many things that jeopardize our self-confidence, we must take responsibility for building it up ourselves.

Here are nine effective confidence exercises you can try in order to improve your self-esteem:

Accept Yourself

You’re one unique individual on this planet. It’s important to not blame yourself over things you can’t do well.

Instead of grumbling about your weaknesses, do some self confidence exercises to make your life better. Want to learn a new skill? Enroll at your community college.

Accept who you are.

Think about What’s Impacting Your Self-Esteem

We all have different things that affect our self-esteem.

Your confidence may have gone down after a series of bad life experiences or one particularly difficult experience, such as:

  • Being abused or bullied
  • Ongoing stress
  • Difficulty finding employment or losing your job
  • Mental health problems
  • Physical illness
  • A difficult divorce, separation, or relationship

Or you might have had self-esteem issues for as long as you can recall. If so, it can be difficult to know how exactly you feel and apply changes to tackle your low self-confidence.

Whatever the cause, it’s important to keep in mind that you’ve got the right to be happy about whom you really are. It can be hard to stop bad habits, but you can try confidence building exercises to feel good about yourself, one step at a time.

Learn How to Be Assertive

When you’re not your own biggest fan, it’s easy to think that other people hold the same view.

You may find yourself bending over backward to assist others because that’s the only way people will like you. If your gesture isn’t appreciated, it might make you feel even worse.

Good deeds are always welcome, but going out of your way to please people may leave you without enough energy to work on yourself, which can impact your mental health.

You can try these self esteem exercises to boost your confidence:

  • Learn to turn down requests: think twice before agreeing to do anything you’d rather not
  • Take responsibility for your own decisions
  • Set boundaries around what you do for others

You may find it hard to ditch these habits at first, but making some changes to become more assertive can be liberating. And it becomes easier the more times you do it.

Work Out

Apart from being beneficial to your overall health, working out improves focus, helps with memory retention, relieves stress, and keeps depression at bay.

It’s more difficult to be anxious if there’s no extra energy to expend. Aside from being difficult and sometimes uncomfortable, exercise improves every area of your life.

So get moving and find time to look after yourself.

Dress Sharp

“When you look great, you feel great”, goes a popular saying. This old saying has plenty of truth in it.

When you dress well, it has a good physiological effect, leading to improved interactions with others. You’ll also notice changes in how you conduct yourself, which boosts your comfort level in everyday situations.

Dressing sharp is a simple and instant way to up your confidence, according to various studies.

Talk to Others

It’s important to talk to other successful individuals to get a better take on your life. Listening to their achievements and challenges can make all the difference in helping you feel better about yourself.

You also can learn how to overcome the hurdles in your life.

Reflect on Your Future

Take your time to really think about what you want to achieve in life. Live your life for yourself, not for others.

Spend plenty of energy and time thinking about what you want out of life. After determining what you want to achieve, put it down on paper and use it as inspiration.

Focus on the Positives in Your Life

You may automatically believe you aren’t good at something. Well, did you know this can stop you from trying new things or doing things you love? This can make you feel even worse about yourself.

You should try to:

Accept compliments. Take note of them and refer to them when you start doubting yourself.

Celebrate your successes and don’t downplay them. Regardless of how minor they may appear to you, find time to pat yourself on the back and think about what you excelled in.

Write down what you admire about yourself. This might include aspects of your appearance, your personality, and what you love doing. If this is difficult for you, ask a family member or friend to help you out.

Fake It to Make It

You’ve heard this term before, haven’t you? Well, this mantra is very relevant when it comes to your own self-confidence.

If you get into a situation where you’re not very confident or you’re vulnerable, this is the best time to turn on your fake-it-till-you-make-it attitude. Use the traits of confident individuals and get through your immediate situation.

At that moment, find a role model you consider as confident and charismatic, be it a movie star, a character, or someone you’ve felt safe around before.

In time, these habits will become second nature to you and will certainly pay off.

Try These Confidence Exercises Today

Building your self-confidence and self-esteem requires time, patience, and trial-and-error on your part. Try to be more realistic and fair on yourself, and you’ll be amazed by the results. All the best!

For additional information about self confidence exercises, be sure to check out the useful posts on our blog!

journaling prompts

7 Simple Steps to Improve Confidence at Work

Today’s corporate environment is a tough one. Amid generational differences (let’s face it, Boomers and Millennials don’t always see eye-to-eye), a recovering economy in which every dollar counts, and fancy new technology, it can seem almost impossible to keep up… much less get ahead.

If the tough workplace has dented your confidence, despair not: there are countless ways to strengthen your self-esteem and get noticed by superiors. To learn how to be more confident at work, read on for our 7 helpful tips.

Tip #1: Get Personal

It’s difficult to project confidence in a room full of strangers. So, make them not strangers. Each week, aim to chit-chat with one or two colleagues (or better yet, bosses.)

Keep it light, too: don’t waste precious time talking about project deadlines or fiscal year end budgets. Ask about hobbies, pets, how they like their coffee…anything to break down those walls.

As you reach a more intimate level with your colleagues, you’ll find it much easier to present in meetings and broach new ideas. You’ll find that others begin to look up to you, as you’re their new friend who showed interest in them.

Tip #2: How to Be More Confident at Work? Dress & Act the Part

No matter what you’re feeling inside, no one will take you seriously if your shoulders are slumped or your clothes look sloppy. You must dress and act the part in order to gain approval.

Consider investing in wardrobe enhancements; a black blazer is classic and professional. If your hair tends to look wild, by all means, pin it back. When speaking in meetings or with superiors, look them in the eye and project your voice.

The workplace is one place where outside appearances do make a difference. You’ll feel better about yourself, and that confidence will radiate outwards.

Tip #3: Humble-Brag About Your Accomplishments

Trust us: everyone else is bragging about themselves, so why shouldn’t you? The key is to be charming about it. Don’t stand around the break room and boast about the money you just saved the firm.

Instead, consider a weekly or monthly recap to the right people – your boss, for one – highlighting your biggest achievements in recent days. This will come in handy for year-end performance reviews, anyway, and it gives you a chance to ponder and record all the reasons you should feel accomplished (and confident!)

Tip #4: Chin Up, Dear

If you’re worried about how to be more confident at work, listen closely: the way you take, and implement, constructive criticism, is crucial to the way you’re perceived in the workplace.

Let’s say your boss pulls you into her office and says, “Great work on that marketing plan, but I think slide 3 leaves a lot to be desired. The data isn’t convincing. Let’s revamp it by end of today, okay?”

So you leave her office a bit wounded, and you have two options: the non-confident approach is to sit at your desk, shoulders slumped, stressed that you’re getting demoted, and stare at slide 3 for thirty minutes in a pit of despair.

The very confident approach? Take a deep breath, realize you’re not perfect, grab a cup of coffee, and fix slide 3. See the criticism from her point of view, and look at it with another set of eyes.

We can guarantee your superiors recognize this type of behavior, and it won’t go unnoticed when they think about your performance at year-end.

Tip #5: Build Your Skillset

To build confidence at work, build your skill toolkit, too! This means the active pursuit of certifications or academic degrees; conferences and CPE (continuing professional education); or even online skill-building classes, like a new data analytics tool.

Start by identifying both your weaknesses (public speaking, anyone?) and your future career interests. Outline those areas where you want or need development, and try to tackle a few.

The best part? Many companies reimburse employees for certifications and classes that relate to their daily job functions. That’s a benefit not to be overlooked!

Tip #6: And Then Put Those Skills on Display

What use is a toolkit of killer skills if you don’t demonstrate them? Remember, we encouraged you to humble brag, and this is the perfect time to do it.

Once you’ve taken that new data analytics course, take the initiative to set up a “lunch and learn” or other training opportunities for your colleagues. Stand tall, and proudly demonstrate all that you’ve learned.

The benefits are multi-faceted: not only will the company benefit by your sharing knowledge with others, but your confidence at work will skyrocket because suddenly, you’ll be a subject matter expert. Which is to say, a pro.

Tip #7: Lead Before You’re Asked

Don’t expect a confidence-building promotion to come at you by surprise. Many organizations expect employees to act like leaders before they get the official designation (and the pay raise!)

Ask your boss if there are training opportunities you can lead (for example, interns or new hires) or if there are additional projects that you can spearhead in your free time. This might be as simple as an Excel macro to automate a calculation, or a team outing so everyone can get to know the new joiner.

The extra leadership might require a bit of overtime here or there, but you’re working to build your future career, right? That takes hustle.

You Do Have the Power to Increase Your Confidence at Work

No matter your background or circumstances, you have the necessary resources to improve your self-esteem at work. Why? Because you are the only resource needed.

Take initiative, share your accomplishments, build your skill set, look the part: it’s all key to standing out (in a good way!) in the workplace.

For more tips on staying confident at work and home, check out the rest of our site. One day at a time, you can overcome the self-esteem and learn how to be more confident at work. We’re here to help!

how to help someone with low self esteem

How to Help Someone With Low Self Esteem, A Loved One’s Guide

It can be incredibly hard to see someone close to you suffering. If a loved one near you is struggling with issues of self-esteem, you may feel helpless–or sometimes even upset or angry.

There is no proper protocol for addressing self-esteem within the confines of a close relationship. Self-esteem issues can be a relationship killer, prompting changes in how you handle conflict and communication. With depression on the rise, emotional states are becoming an increasingly focused-on factor of modern relationships.

While the crux of your partner’s self-esteem issues inevitably lie with them, there are things you can do to help. Support and positive encouragement, among other contributions, can be hugely helpful to someone struggling with low-self esteem.

If you want to know how to help someone with low self-esteem, read on as we talk through just what you can do.

Be There to Offer Support

Loving someone with low self-esteem can be difficult, but the most essential thing you can do is also the easiest.

Offering your time and an ear to your loved one can make a huge difference in making them feel appreciated and heard. Making concrete plans and setting time aside for your loved one is a great way to help show them that their time and company is valued. People with low self-esteem often lack the initiative to instigate plans with others.

While spending time with your loved one, you should discuss with them their life and talk about whatever they feel comfortable talking about. You should listen closely to everything they have to say and maintain eye contact. Really listen.

In turn, you should respond honestly and from the heart. This kind of attentive and honest communication can help to make people with low self-esteem valued and promote a deep and open relationship.

Don’t be afraid to ask your loved one about their problems and what may be wrong. If they ask for advice, give them your honest advice on the matter.

Caring attention can do a lot for someone’s self-esteem and can help to build someone up and guide them towards better self-love, and a better life overall.

Avoid Lecturing or Belittling

More than anything, a person with low self-esteem wants to be heard and feel valued. As tempting as it may be to try to tell them how they should think about things, you should avoid doing so.

You can seriously risk alienating the person you’re trying to help if you attempt to forcefully guide their behavior, or tell them how to think. Instead of disagreeing with a person’s complaints about themselves, attempt to dig deeper into why they feel this way. This might provoke a more significant conversation.

You should be there to affirm their feelings and allow them to be heard, not disagree with them on their feelings. Feeling heard can help an individual feel empowered and make steps towards further progress.

Express & Relate to the Individual

Sharing personal stories of your own struggles is a great way to make another person feel like they are not alone in their strife.

We all live with our inner voices, and it is difficult to know what is normal or abnormal. A person with low self-esteem may feel as if those around them never feel the doubts and fears that they do. If you can discuss your own experiences with the problems they are facing, they may find great comfort in the realization that they are not alone in these struggles.

Individuals with low self-esteem frequently view themselves as outsiders or abnormal. Helping to illuminate the false nature of this belief can give an individual great relief.

Talking to someone about the way you talk and think to yourself can help them understand a more positive inner voice. Model an inner voice that shows the support you’d give a dear friend or loved one, not an abusive one.

Recognize the Realities

Issues of self-esteem are complicated and frequently deep-rooted. Ultimately, self-esteem is a personal matter, and you should recognize that you may not be able to help someone with low self-esteem. The best you can do is to offer encouragement and support.

Loving someone with low self-esteem can be a complicated matter, and you should be sure to value your own feelings and role in the process. If you don’t, you have the potential to make matters worse later.

People with low self-esteem can become easily needy. Establishing a proper sense of boundaries is essential in keeping your relationship with your loved one strong and trusting.

You may feel guilty about establishing boundaries, but these matters help to keep you fully engaged. The last thing you want is to begin to begrudge your loved one for their behavior. They eventually will notice this feeling and this can make matters worse.

Don’t be afraid to gently establish your obligation to work, family, and other friends in your discussions with your loved one. Don’t be afraid to limit the hours when they can call to reach you–or you may receive a 3 AM call when they need to be heard.

Do not accept abuse, verbal or otherwise, from your loved one. Low self-esteem does not give a person a pass to be cruel, and it is important for your loved one to understand this if they are going to improve.

Working to maintain a healthy, mutually beneficial relationship can be its own huge help in aiding your loved one’s return to a healthy mental state.

How to Help Someone with Low Self-Esteem

Helping to build someone up can be a tricky but rewarding task. The least we can do in this crazy world is to help take care of one another, and knowing how to help someone with low self-esteem can make a world of difference in the life of someone who needs it.

Remember to be patient with those struggling–the path to self-love can be a long and bumpy one. With your help, your loved one can and will get there.

Looking for may ways to promote and improve self-esteem? Check out our blog for the best tips, tricks, and advice.

meditation for self-confidence

5 Ways to Use Meditation for Self-Confidence and Improved Self-Esteem

The potential of meditation holds no bounds.

It’s been used in a wide variety of mental health practices. At its crux is the method of letting go of the “self.”

For many, meditation is an easy way to ground themselves spiritually. They can use it to create a more balanced and peaceful lifestyle and, most importantly, manage daily stress.

Your self-esteem plays a huge role in your mental health, your professional success, and even your physical well-being. For these reasons, it’s essential to maintain a positive sense of self.

Adding meditation for self-confidence into your daily regimen could be a great solution if you need help with confidence. Read on to learn more.

Implementing Meditation for Self-Confidence

Some have described their roadblock with increasing confidence and self-esteem as a struggle with quieting the inner voices that tell them they aren’t good enough.

Meditations for self-esteem can help combat those negative thoughts. It will quiet the inner voices and allow you to train your brain into letting go of the negative and focusing on the positive.

Here are five easy ways to get started on practicing meditation for self-love.

1. Empower Yourself

Begin each meditation session with some focus words or phrases that will guide your session towards self-confidence. Try imagining how you would speak to a child or even your younger self. How would you encourage them?

Focus on short and simple statements that pack a powerful punch. Think of key phrases that you can easily agree with while meditating.

This will allow you to more easily implement it throughout the rest of your day.

2. Recite Positive Affirmations

Meditation for self-confidence doesn’t need to be a formal event that you carve out for your day. Simply practicing the act of positive affirmations can do wonders if you’re feeling down on yourself and need a pick me up.

Write down several phrases that resonate with you. Recite them throughout the day to remind yourself of how amazing and capable you are.

Here are a few examples:

  • I don’t sweat the small stuff.
  • I can and I will.
  • I overcome fears by following my dreams.
  • I am in charge of how I feel today and I am choosing happiness.

Make one of these your mantra and you’ll feel your self-confidence soar.

3. Harnessing Failure into Growth

One of the most common causes of low self-confidence is past failures. Making mistakes, experiencing embarrassing moments, and even failures of epic proportions are all a part of personal growth.

Those times of failure can be long gone, but they may have serious residual effects. They can prevent us from moving forward and can have detrimental consequences.

Try and think of a time when you failed that still haunts you today. You may not think it, but that failure may keep you from moving forward. Areas of your life like a positive career move or finding love may be tinged with discomfort or sadness.

Practice a form of meditation where you resurface those feelings in times of failure. Take this time to redefine what that experience meant.

Why did you fail? What did you learn from that experience? How are you a smarter and stronger human being because of that moment?

Everything happens for a reason, especially failures. Take those moments and turn them into a guide on how to practice self-love in the future.

4. Consider the “What If?”

Building off of learning from failures, it’s equally important to consider the question of “what if?”

What if you got the promotion? What if you found the love of your life? What if you had an amazing night because you stopped worrying about your appearance?

This statement can also be implemented into your daily meditation practice. Ask yourself questions like:

  • What if you followed these meditative guides to take you on a path towards self-love?
  • What if you implemented these tools to find a confident new self?
  • What if these meditations towards self-confidence led you on a path to a happier and healthier you?

Consider these questions when you’re considering your meditative practice and your personal definition of self-confidence.

5. Envision Your Confidence

Similar to empowering yourself and positive affirmations, visualization does wonders to meditation.

What does confidence mean to you? Confidence has a wide range of definitions to different individuals.

It could mean feeling comfortable in your own skin. It could mean having a sense of calm in the workplace. It could also mean having the courage to ask someone on a date.

No matter your definition, envision that confidence. Think of a time when you were feeling especially confident. Think of a character or personality that exudes confidence in a way you would like.

Harness those feelings of confidence into this meditation to eliminate your insecurities. The more you implement this practice, the more natural those feelings will become. In time, they’ll spill into your everyday life.

Next Steps to Self-Worth Meditation

The key to any practice is diligence and discipline. Engaging in just one self-worth meditation session isn’t enough.

Practice meditation for self-confidence as often as you can. Think of this as a full lifestyle change that will affect your day-to-day life. It’s a top priority to practice as often as possible.

Ideally, these tips will lead you to a healthier and more confident lifestyle quickly and efficiently.

What’s great about purposeful meditation is that you’ll notice the positive benefits of your practice immediately. You’ll begin to be more aware of your emotions and will start acting out your confident actions daily.

Soon, these actions and feelings will become second nature–a new part of your personality and lifestyle.

Self Esteem Solutions offers a variety of tips and resources to implement positive self-esteem practices into your everyday life. Check out our resources and guides today for more information on how to practice self-love.

improving your self

5 Simple Tips For Improving Your Self Esteem

If you feel like building self esteem is something you really need to work on, you’re certainly not alone.

In fact, the world is currently suffering a crisis of self esteem. Some of this may be due to uncertainty about the future, the harsh judgment and cruel anonymous comments spewed on social media, or just a lack of satisfaction with where you are in life at the moment.

Regardless of what’s making you feel insecure, make today the day you start improving your self esteem and appreciating the many amazing things that make you special — and loved.

Interested in learning how to build self esteem?

If so, then keep on reading this post to learn how to build a better you.

1. Understand You’re not Alone

Want to know a little secret?

If you’re searching for self esteem tips, one of the best things you can do is start to think about the most confident person you know.

You probably think they have it all: a perfect marriage, a high-paying job, a killer body, and an awesome sense of humor. You think: “This person can’t possibly be suffering from low self esteem. They radiate confidence everywhere they go.”

The truth?

Everyone — yes, even that person — suffers from bouts of low self esteem from time to time. No one is as perfect as they present themselves as being.

In fact, sometimes all that braggadocio and confidence can actually end up masking serious feelings of sadness, unworthiness, and self-loathing.

Once you start working on your empathy towards others, and understanding just how many people sometimes doubt their skills or feel they don’t deserve what they have, you’ll feel much better about yourself.

2. Fake It Until you Make It

When you were younger, you were probably given the advice that if you just pretend like you’re having a good time at a dance or a party, you’ll end up actually enjoying yourself by the end of the night.

Well, the same thing is true for improving self esteem.

Even if you feel like you hate your outfit, you’re unhappy with your body, or you’re the lowest on the totem pole at work, start changing your outlook.

Pretend that you have the job of your dreams, act like you run your life perfectly, and even change your posture to sit up straight and cut an authoritative figure.

You’ll be surprised by just how much these physical and mental shifts can do when it comes to improving your self esteem.

3. Appreciate What You Have

Low self esteem comes most often when we compare ourselves to others.

You may browse through your social media feed and feel envy, contempt for what the people you’re following have, and even as though you’re unworthy of praise, attention, and love.

It’s time to rewire your thinking — ASAP.

Get out a pen and paper and start thinking of all the things you do have. Also be sure to write down any positive things that happened to you over the course of your day.

These accomplishments and positive experiences can be as big or small as you’d like.

Maybe your barista complimented your outfit. Perhaps a client requested to work with you over another representative. Maybe you got a phone call from an old friend, or your child got a great grade on a book report.

Remember that building self esteem starts with celebrating the little things in life. After all, they’re what makes it really worth living.

4. Compliment Others Around You

Earlier in this post, we referenced the global crisis of self esteem.

We emphasized the fact that, if you’re feeling bad about yourself or struggling with self love, you’re certainly not the only one.

Part of improving your self confidence comes with working to inspire a sense of self worth in the other people around you!

See a woman’s purse on the train that you’re a fan of? Why not let her know you think it looks great?

Proud of your daughter for working hard to bring her math grade up from a B+ to an A-? Write her a little note and slip it in her lunchbox, telling her how proud you are of her.

Whether it’s a co-worker, a friend, or even a stranger, trust us when we tell you that everyone loves feeling noticed and appreciated.

Who knows — you might even be surprised that the person you’ve complimented turns around and gives you a compliment in return!

5. Celebrate Your Accomplishments

Many people with low self esteem feel like any successes that they do have aren’t really earned.

Instead, they’re more the result of “luck” or maybe even just “good timing.”

Now is the time to cast those sorts of thoughts from your mind. Remember that one of the most important self esteem tips is to begin to understand that it’s a combination of your awesome skill set and terrific personality that earned you the good things in life.

Once you start understanding that you’re worthy of — and that you deserve — success, your self esteem will skyrocket.

Commit to Improving Your Self Esteem

We hope that this post has helped you to understand a few of the many ways in which you can start improving your self confidence and self esteem today.

Remember that self love is a process, not a race. It will take time — especially if you’ve been dealing with self-loathing for a while — to change your attitude.

We can help speed up the process.

Be sure to check out our website and blog for access to self esteem tips and articles that can remind you to make a commitment to loving yourself.

benefits of a positive attitude

What are the Benefits of a Positive Attitude?

We’ve all heard it more than once in our lives. “You need to look on the bright side.” When people tell us these things, they’re usually implying that we need to think more positively to get us out of a bad mood or stop us from worrying.

But there’s more to the power of positivity than just mood changing. Researchers are discovering evidence that tells us that people who think more positively have a better well-being overall.

Even if thinking positively doesn’t come to you as naturally as it does to others, there are reasons to start trying. Here are some of the benefits of a positive attitude.

What is a Positive Attitude?

There are a few different definitions of what a positive attitude is and how it grows in us.

You could think of a positive attitude as a mental state where the thinker expects the best to happen. It’s the habit of believing that things will turn out okay, not letting yourself rest for too long in negative thoughts or doubts that will disrupt this habit.

It’s also a kind of constructive thinking. Instead of just being resolved to what happens to you, you start to think about the solutions and believing that it’s within your skill set to find them. It’s about being active in solving your issues and trying to find solutions to do just that.

It could also be seen as a way of thinking more creatively. When you look at life with a broad vision, trying to think creatively, you can find new ways of doing things. This is especially marked by not being afraid to do something different.

To have a positive attitude you have to be able to be optimistic. You must be able to hope and expect things to get better and for your plans to be successful.

You have to be motivated. You have to carry an energy and zest inside of you. You have to spend time on work and accomplishing a goal.

And lastly, but certainly not least, keeping a positive outlook means being happy and content.

Here are a few ways that keeping a positive attitude can help you.

Cope With Stress Better

When you’re faced with a stressful issue, what do you do? Do you dwell on the frustration or the parts of the situation that you cant change?

Research shows that when people who think positively encounter something disappointing, like rejection or failure of some kind, they tend to focus more on the things that they can do to fix a situation. They create a plan of action and ask for help or advice.

Improve Immunity

Your mind can have a very powerful effect on your body. Your immune system is one spot where your ability to think positively can make a big change.

In one study, researchers discovered that negative emotions led to a decreased reaction to the flu vaccine. Researchers found that people who thought positively about something very specific and important to their lives they showed a stronger response in their immune system than those who didn’t.

Good Health

The power of positive thinking can change how you handle stress and your immune system. But it can also improve your well-being overall.

There have been reports of many health benefits thought to be linked to positive thinking, like less chance of dying from a cardiovascular issue, reduced depression, and even a longer life!

It’s unclear exactly how or why thinking positively changes your health, but it has been suggested that people who are positive also tend to lead healthier lives. Coping with stress and staying clear of other unhealthy behaviors will have a positive effect on your health and well being.

More Resilient

Resilience is your ability to cope with trauma or issues. People who are resilient can face a terrible situation and show strength. They don’t fall apart but instead choose to carry on and eventually overcome the thing that hurt them.

After all, we’ve learned so far about the power of positive thinking, it should come as no surprise that it can seriously affect how resilient we are.

Optimists tend to look at what they can do to fix a problem when they’re faced with one. They don’t give up home. Instead, they gather all of their resources and look for help when they need it. They don’t shut themselves away and wait for the problem to pass, allowing it to get bigger and bigger until it spirals out of control.

Scientists have also found that positive thoughts and feelings encourage people to thrive and can act as a barrier against depression in people who are more resilient, especially after something of a crisis, like a terrorist attack or a natural disaster.

How to Reap the Benefits of a Positive Attitude

Luckily enough, you don’t have to be born an optimist to enjoy the health benefits of a positive attitude.

It is believed that positive thinking can be learned and cultivated. When you revel in positive emotions even when something terrible happens, you can garner these benefits and more.

Being a positive thinker doesn’t mean you take a passive approach to life. There are no rose-colored glasses here, not even for the positive thinkers of the world.

It’s not about ignoring your reality and living in a “Pollyanna” world. Positive thinkers don’t believe that nothing bad will ever happen.

Instead, they look at all situations realistically and try to find ways that they can change and improve them for themselves. IT’s about learning from your experiences and realizing that no matter how bad it gets, it can always get better.

If you want to learn how to improve your positive thinking and self-esteem, we can help. Visit our blog today for tips and tricks for leading a happier, healthier life.

Self-Esteem Activities

10 Self-Esteem Activities For Young Adults

As they grow and experience life, young adults experience two notable drops in self-esteem. Once between the ages of 9-13 (early puberty) and again just before adulthood. As a parent, teacher, or mentor who cares about a young adult, this can be tough to watch.

But there are ways to cope, including a variety of self-esteem activities for the adolescent to practice. Self-esteem activities can be broken into two general categories: physical and emotional.

Physical activities include more than just exercise. This can be anything requiring hand-eye coordination (like tending a garden or building a value board.) Emotional activities include things like mindfulness moments and keeping a list of affirmations.

To learn more about these self-esteem activities and more, keep reading.

1. Affirmations

An affirmation is simply a positive statement about oneself or one’s own life experience. These are often read aloud in a private setting, and affirmations are proven to boost mood and confidence.

The young adult may compile a list of affirmations to be read from a list, pulled from a jar, or even stored in an app or on a cell phone. These statements may include things such as, I am worthy of good friends, or I am good enough to play team sports, or My sibling’s behavior does not impact my behavior.

2. Value Boards

Value boards are a creative way for an adolescent to build a picture that visually defines aspects of their identity: who they were, who they are, and who they want to be.

These can be done a piece of paper or in a journal. It may consist of words or images taken from magazines, books, personal letters, old journals, or even online. What matters is that the young adult feels safe to include what they believe they are, not what they want others to believe.

3. Journaling

A journal is a safe, discrete outlet to share one’s deepest thoughts and concerns. It may be beneficial for the adolescent to write about their daily stressors, including why they are struggling with self-esteem.

As the young adult journals, encourage him or her to express themes visually. For example, if they often feel left out of groups, they may draw themselves sitting outside of a circle. Framing thoughts in this way can assist the young adult with processing these thoughts and, eventually, working through them.

4. Grow a Garden

Tending a small garden can be a very inspiring, confidence-building activities for young adults. A garden is an excellent way to teach that nothing grows overnight, and that self-love requires time, attention, and healthy inputs.

As the garden begins to grow and bloom, remind the young adult that self-care does not stop with the first sign of improvement. We must all care for ourselves in different ways over the course of our lives, and none of us are perfect.

5. Practice Strengths

One of the best self-esteem activities for a young adult is to practice something he or she is good at us. Affirming these types of activities can boost confidence immediately.

For example, is the child a quick reader? Does he or she excel at baking cookies, shooting a basketball, or doing small craft projects? If so, provide the adolescent with the resources and time to do more of these things, and remind them that they have a special talent in this area.

6. Meaningful Jewelry

For some young adults, the constant reminder of self-care is important. A beaded bracelet or necklace can be a creative way to incorporate this reminder into one’s life.

Consider helping the young adult make a bracelet that has special meaning to them: perhaps each bead has a color or letter on it, like “B” for “breathe” or bright yellow for cheerfulness. These bracelets can even be made with friends or given to friends.

7. Mindfulness Moments

Mindfulness is any form of relaxed consciousness, most often practiced as meditation. It doesn’t sound like something most young adults would like, but this is one of the most important self-esteem activities that exist. In fact, plenty of kids already meditate.

Adolescents may practice mindfulness by sitting quietly in a dim room (like a bedroom or counselor’s office); listening to the birds and trees at a local park or beach, or even playing soft music while doing an easy craft project or journaling.

8. How Did You Benefit Someone Today?

By asking the young adult what they did to benefit someone else, they are forced to consider the ways they helped friends or strangers — and this can be a big self-esteem boost.

For example, did the young adult hold the door open for someone at school? Help a friend with homework? Return something to Lost & Found?

All of these demonstrate a positive impact on the adolescent’s environment, and he or she should be recognized for it.

9. Volunteer with the Less Fortunate

There’s no better way to boost confidence than turning attention outward. Consider getting the adolescent involved in volunteer activities around the community, like food kitchens or city cleanups. This is a great way to teach the lesson that even a single person can make a big difference in society.

This also gives the young adult the chance to see how fortunate he or she is. Practicing gratitude is another one of the most important self-esteem activities. This reminds young adults to focus on the many good areas of their life.

10. Get Active

Just as mental and creative activities are essential, so too is exercise. Encourage the child to get outside, play sports with friends, go for a long walk with a parent, or play in the pool. Physical activity boosts emotional and mental health, and it’s crucial to keeping body and mind in great condition.

Options for Self Esteem Activities are Endless

These are just a handful of self-esteem activities to boost morale for the young adults you care about. At Self Esteem Solutions, we offer useful guides to help just about anyone. Whether you’re experiencing low esteem, anxiety or nervousness, our guides can help you change how you perceive things.

For more ideas about self-esteem and adolescents, check out the rest of our site.

Causes of Low Self-Esteem

How Social Media Affects Girls With Low Self-Esteem

Like it or not, social media is everywhere these days. It’s how many people get their news, communicate with friends, and do business. But above all, social media is just that – it’s a place to be social. And that’s where girls with low self-esteem can get into trouble.

From Instagram to Snapchat and everything in-between, social media is a major part of young girls’ lives. But what exactly are they looking at? And how is it affecting the way they feel about themselves and their self-worth?

Turns out it could be affecting them more than you may think, and not in a good way. Let’s check out how social media can change the way girls with low self-esteem view themselves and the world around them.

Body Image

Young girls today are not just inundated with photos of beauty on the pages of glossy magazines or on TV, it has now filled every last space of social media as well. Celebrities, Instagram models, social media influencers, and the like all fill their feeds with flawless images of themselves.

Technology now enables anyone to apply filters or edit their photos to their heart’s content. Many times leaving the photo drastically different than the original.

And young girls are seeing these edited photos and take it as reality. They see perfectly manicured women with perfect figures and perfect lighting and think to themselves, “I want to look like that”. So when they go to look in the mirror and the reflection doesn’t quite measure up, their self-esteem takes a huge shot.

These are also the same girls who live in fear of someone tagging them in an “ugly” photo on social media. They have control over the photos they post of themselves, but not what friends or family may post. Girls with low self-esteem fear the image and look they choose to portray will be tarnished by these “ugly” photos and will un-tag themselves from it faster than you can blink.

There are even ways young people can rank each other based on looks. Or they use hashtags like #tbh where girls can ask for honest opinions from friends and perfect strangers on if they think they are pretty or not. Some photo comparison apps will leave a large red X on the face of the loser.

Need for Acceptance

There used to be a day when a note with the question “Do you like me? Check yes or no” was the standard by which acceptance was measured, but now it’s all over social media in the form of “likes” and “follows” and “friends.”

Girls will post new photos of themselves in the hopes of racking up a bunch of “likes” and positive comments, all feeding their self-esteem. But if that doesn’t happen, it can be a huge blow, especially to girls with low self-esteem.

Because this form of “rejection” isn’t just evident to them, it’s out there for everyone to see. Everyone who is able to view their page can see how well received it is – or isn’t. So they feel publicly embarrassed, in a way. Many girls admit to taking photos down that don’t receive tons of “likes”, for that very reason.

A lot of cyber-bullying centers around this activity. Girls can get mocked and teased for not being popular in the social media world. And this can roll into the real world if those girls happen to go to the same school together, which only further exasperates the problem.

Comparison Is the Thief of Joy

Just like with images of beauty, there are images of people living the good life. You seem them sprawled out on yachts drinking champagne, lounging around luxury hotel balconies eating a gorgeous Parisian breakfast, or walking city streets in the latest designer fashions.

Girls with low self-esteem will look at these images and think that they not only want to look like these people, they want to live like these people as well.

And it can’t be that hard, right? Many social media influencers aren’t “real” celebrities. They’re just real people. So it couldn’t be that difficult to live the good life as well. Then suddenly their current life doesn’t measure up.

What these girls don’t see is the work, the struggle, and many times the staging that goes on behind the scenes of these photos. One social media influencer even admitted to getting herself into over $10,000 in debt just to portray the image she wanted everyone to see.

So when young girls start comparing their lives to the ones they see on social media, feelings of low self-worth and depression can set in.

What Can We Do?

Communication is key when it comes to helping girls with low self-esteem see that these images and forms of acceptance are not the standards by which they should build their self-worth. Parents should keep the lines of communication open and talk about these things with their girls. And with the age of children having access to social media becoming younger and younger, it should start early.

Many celebrities are getting into the fight as well. People like Demi Lovato and Hillary Duff, who have been body-shamed by the media in the past, purposely post unflattering photos of themselves on social media to show their fans that everything is not always as it appears. Supermodel Ashley Graham has redefined the boundaries of what size beauty can be.

Hashtags like #nomakeup and #nofilter are becoming increasingly popular on social media. They encourage girls to post natural, untouched photos and use the hashtags with them. It celebrates who they are and that everyone is beautiful no matter what.

Girls with Low Self-Esteem Need More Positive Role Models

It just goes to show how influential and major social media is. But with open communication and more positive role models in the social media world, we can start to have a beneficial impact on the lives of young girls everywhere.

Want to learn more about self-esteem issues? Make sure to check out more of the articles on our blog!